SkodaMart
SkodaMart
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Life just took a divebomb - 8 Years down the pan.
- Thread starter David_VI
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Soldato
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Sorry to hear that mate 
Shall we organise a Colchester meet, go out for some beers, maybe a scrap with some squaddies on Queen St?
No but srs, lets organise a Colchester meet
If you fancy a beer tonight though let me know
Shall we organise a Colchester meet, go out for some beers, maybe a scrap with some squaddies on Queen St?
No but srs, lets organise a Colchester meet
If you fancy a beer tonight though let me know
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what if he gets his arse beaten up? It was his girlfriends decision to cheeze off.. leave it be! I'd say you're lucky she didn't cheat on you and left instead
Yep, when I was at work and my missis moved out (pretty much same as op), I found the cause and "dealt" with him, made me feels loads better.
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Sorry to hear that mate
Shall we organise a Colchester meet, go out for some beers, maybe a scrap with some squaddies on Queen St?
No but srs, lets organise a Colchester meet
If you fancy a beer tonight though let me know
I would pop along but I'm 300 miles away lol
Good on you bro....
Soldato
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More advice please.
All the replies have really helped gain perspective on this (as much as I can so close to the horrid event) however i'm worried about when I see her to get the explanation. My attitude to her since reading this thread has changed, I see how cowardly and selfish she has been so feel like I could be a right **** to her. What would it achieve?
I am still fearful of seeing her and breaking down and trying to get her back.. I really am unsure how to approach it.
Tomorrow night?
I'm working tonight. but on earlies all next week.
All the replies have really helped gain perspective on this (as much as I can so close to the horrid event) however i'm worried about when I see her to get the explanation. My attitude to her since reading this thread has changed, I see how cowardly and selfish she has been so feel like I could be a right **** to her. What would it achieve?
I am still fearful of seeing her and breaking down and trying to get her back.. I really am unsure how to approach it.
Sorry to hear that mate
Shall we organise a Colchester meet, go out for some beers, maybe a scrap with some squaddies on Queen St?
No but srs, lets organise a Colchester meet
If you fancy a beer tonight though let me know
Tomorrow night?
I'm working tonight. but on earlies all next week.
Soldato
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This. Life is short, go out and live some like your chains have come off!
Soldato
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2007
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- 9,307
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- extremes.spacious.indelible
More advice please.
All the replies have really helped gain perspective on this (as much as I can so close to the horrid event) however i'm worried about when I see her to get the explanation. My attitude to her since reading this thread has changed, I see how cowardly and selfish she has been so feel like I could be a right **** to her. What would it achieve?
I am still fearful of seeing her and breaking down and trying to get her back.. I really am unsure how to approach it.
Tomorrow night?
Work early Monday
but next weekend?Where do you normally drink?
I'm not going to BS you mate. Chances are you are going to get emotional when you see her. Emotions aren't logical or able to be reigned in by our rationality. Just accept it's probably going to happen but focus on the point you need to make.
I could be wrong, but from reading your post, through her not even bothering to leave you a note doesn't seem to be complete disrespect. I find it hard to believe that after eight years someone could be capable of that.
The reality is, for her, the relationship was probably over for a while. Remember that analogy of women in relationships being like a monkey climbing a tree? Always grabbing on to the next branch before moving on.
I think the likelihood is that she believes that the grass is greener. You've been together for eight years, you've settled in to an emotional entente, a monotony and she's wondering what she could be missing. Then, out of the fog comes this other chap who's given her the excitement back, the novel and untasted. At this point, she doesn't know who the other chap is, she's just speculating and making him be who she wants him to be. Pretty soon, she's going to work out that the hat does or doesn't fit.
Anyway, going back to the letter. My take is, she did respect you enough to try to leave you a letter and she genuinely is afraid of hurting you. However, the way she went about it was cowardly and in retrospect, cruel. My opinion is that I don't think she really knows what she wants or what she is doing. The statement of "but what's the point," isn't so much her copping out, but rather she can't justify it herself and she's running simply running away in a hope to finding vindication.
That said, I could be wrong and she really is just a bitch.
I could be wrong, but from reading your post, through her not even bothering to leave you a note doesn't seem to be complete disrespect. I find it hard to believe that after eight years someone could be capable of that.
The reality is, for her, the relationship was probably over for a while. Remember that analogy of women in relationships being like a monkey climbing a tree? Always grabbing on to the next branch before moving on.
I think the likelihood is that she believes that the grass is greener. You've been together for eight years, you've settled in to an emotional entente, a monotony and she's wondering what she could be missing. Then, out of the fog comes this other chap who's given her the excitement back, the novel and untasted. At this point, she doesn't know who the other chap is, she's just speculating and making him be who she wants him to be. Pretty soon, she's going to work out that the hat does or doesn't fit.
Anyway, going back to the letter. My take is, she did respect you enough to try to leave you a letter and she genuinely is afraid of hurting you. However, the way she went about it was cowardly and in retrospect, cruel. My opinion is that I don't think she really knows what she wants or what she is doing. The statement of "but what's the point," isn't so much her copping out, but rather she can't justify it herself and she's running simply running away in a hope to finding vindication.
That said, I could be wrong and she really is just a bitch.
Get in the car and stop making excuses
It's 487 miles lol
Soldato
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Caporegime
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People seem to forget that wanting to beat someone up does not necessarily mean you can.
You could end up in the most horrific situation whereby he has your girlfriend and has given you a good towelling, which would no doubt get round work and leave you emotionally defunct.
You could end up in the most horrific situation whereby he has your girlfriend and has given you a good towelling, which would no doubt get round work and leave you emotionally defunct.
Work early Monday
Where do you normally drink?
I don't normally drink! So anywhere aslong as it's not full of loud music! (I live off Ipswich road so a short walk to town).
I've been thinking the same thing. Also worth considering the grass might be greener. I'm not amazing by any means, have my own issues.. so maybe I wasn't good enough for her when it came to a relationship. However she's definately not good enough for me when it comes to how she ended it.
Dude, firstly... i'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. You seem like a nice guy.
Secondly, this is going to feel **** and i mean REALLY ****. But you've got a few things to do now. Luckily with your good job this will be pretty easy financially so have some fun with it.
Find your own place, somewhere to make your own memories and something that works out as being perfect FOR YOU. Get a place with a hot tub or some extra little perk that you really like about the place. If you like a good view go for one like that. Or if you enjoy tinkering with things in a garage then get a place with a double garage conversion or something. Kit it out with things that you enjoy and really make it your own. Don't just go for the first thing that's okay and convenient, make an effort to get something unique and be damn picky about it. This might seem like silly advice but it's actually a big mental step to take because you're getting out of the "compromising" attitude that comes with being in a relationship. This is YOUR life, if you aren't 100% hapy with something then change it. As a few people have said, this wimp of a girlfriend has made life easy for you because now you can go remember what it means to have fun.
Give your mates a call. If you don't have any, join a club or group or something. Friends are easy to come by if you are open to the idea of it. Facebook has groups for everything and you can find local ones too.
Don't rush into dating again or listen to anybody say you should get a rebound, you'll do that naturally when you're ready. This bit is important DON'T GIVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. She clearly isn't worth it so pack up anything she has left in the house and put it into bin bags. Drop it into a cupboard or near the front door and wait for her to call by to get it or until she texts you about picking it up. If you cry while you're packing it up, don't worry about it, it's all part of moving on. Don't call her to talk, don't text her to tell her to come pick up her ****. Just ignore her, you're clearly far better than she is and you deserve someone equally as decent.
IF you decide down the line you want her back, then calling her and being all clingy just isn't going to help. Distance and acting aloof is the only thing that'll make you seem desirable to her. For the record, don't entertain the idea of getting back with her. She's shown her true colours and even if you can work things out, they'll never be the same because you'll be thinking back to the fact she went up to the lake district with some other guy to get railed by him. Repeatedly. Like... he's been inside her. You really think going back after you know that is a good idea? Nooooo.
Besides, meeting someone new is great fun. The beginning is always the best, so you've got that to look forward to.
Secondly, this is going to feel **** and i mean REALLY ****. But you've got a few things to do now. Luckily with your good job this will be pretty easy financially so have some fun with it.
Find your own place, somewhere to make your own memories and something that works out as being perfect FOR YOU. Get a place with a hot tub or some extra little perk that you really like about the place. If you like a good view go for one like that. Or if you enjoy tinkering with things in a garage then get a place with a double garage conversion or something. Kit it out with things that you enjoy and really make it your own. Don't just go for the first thing that's okay and convenient, make an effort to get something unique and be damn picky about it. This might seem like silly advice but it's actually a big mental step to take because you're getting out of the "compromising" attitude that comes with being in a relationship. This is YOUR life, if you aren't 100% hapy with something then change it. As a few people have said, this wimp of a girlfriend has made life easy for you because now you can go remember what it means to have fun.
Give your mates a call. If you don't have any, join a club or group or something. Friends are easy to come by if you are open to the idea of it. Facebook has groups for everything and you can find local ones too.
Don't rush into dating again or listen to anybody say you should get a rebound, you'll do that naturally when you're ready. This bit is important DON'T GIVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. She clearly isn't worth it so pack up anything she has left in the house and put it into bin bags. Drop it into a cupboard or near the front door and wait for her to call by to get it or until she texts you about picking it up. If you cry while you're packing it up, don't worry about it, it's all part of moving on. Don't call her to talk, don't text her to tell her to come pick up her ****. Just ignore her, you're clearly far better than she is and you deserve someone equally as decent.
IF you decide down the line you want her back, then calling her and being all clingy just isn't going to help. Distance and acting aloof is the only thing that'll make you seem desirable to her. For the record, don't entertain the idea of getting back with her. She's shown her true colours and even if you can work things out, they'll never be the same because you'll be thinking back to the fact she went up to the lake district with some other guy to get railed by him. Repeatedly. Like... he's been inside her. You really think going back after you know that is a good idea? Nooooo.
Besides, meeting someone new is great fun. The beginning is always the best, so you've got that to look forward to.
Soldato
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Magic, how old are you btw?
You probably will want to cry and you probably will want to try and make things work. But remember, she's been with another dude. If anything makes you feel sad or that you want her back just remember that. Your girl was with another guy. Now on the flipside, don't think of that and get angry but just keeping it in mind should help you come across emotionally void about the whole thing. If you ever wanted to get back at her thats the best way. Women love to be validated, they love to have their looks validated, to be emotionally validated. They crave to feel wanted. If you deny that she's gonna burn out all the internal wiring in her brain and sit there thinking about it for ages.
Why wasn't he bothered? Why aren't i enough for him? What can i do to be enough for him? What's wrong with me?
You see how that train of thought goes for a woman? It's just too easy once you realise how they're thought processes work.