Never thought this day would come, need relationship advice.

Simple is he a good mate? If not and as you say your own relationship is coming to an end the only thing left is timing surely? If she breaks up with him and goes straight to you then yeah your mates will be peeved(most likely) give it a few months after they break up probably won't be seen in the same way(no reason you can't "hang out" during that time).

Life's a ..... Isn't it :D.
 
You need to be honest with everyone if there's any chance of this ending amicably, I'll start with that.

Quite a pickle, but if your current relationship has 'ran its course' then you need to be end it with your current partner rather than stringing them along. Then comes the 'hard' part I suppose
 
You need to separate a few things first.

If you're not happy with your girlfriend and can't or won't put the energy into to trying to improve things then you should break up with her. She deserves better. This advice also goes to the girl you want to have sex with who is not your girlfriend.

All the other stuff comes later.
 
End both current relationships, be it at the same time or a few weeks apart. Spend a month or two secretly dating (being careful) talk to the friend about how he'd feel if you started dating her (make up some junk about meeting a week earlier and getting along well) come off as the good friend asking for his post-breakup permission (assuming he's over her by then...if not wait) if he says no, well.....jump that hurdle if you get to it, and continue in secret till you device a plan.

Come off as the good guy to friend, get girl. winners.

EDIT: unless the honest route etc is likely to work, sounds unlikely though?
 
Mynight said:
Simple is he a good mate? If not and as you say your own relationship is coming to an end the only thing left is timing surely? If she breaks up with him and goes straight to you then yeah your mates will be peeved(most likely) give it a few months after they break up probably won't be seen in the same way(no reason you can't "hang out" during that time).

Life's a ..... Isn't it :D.
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Yeah he's quite a good mate, which is why this is killing my head so much. I honestly never though I would ever end up in this situation.
 
Obviously something ain't right in both of your relationships otherwise you wouldn't both feel this way.

Honest question, do you love this girl more than your current girlfriend?
 
MeEsH BaKkA said:
Yeah he's quite a good mate, which is why this is killing my head so much. I honestly never though I would ever end up in this situation.
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Argh well don't do it then in my opinion. If they end up breaking up maybe you could ask him how he felt about it but I'd never do that to a good mate without his agreement regardless of the girl.

Bros before hoes.

Two things though;

1) do you know how she and him got together? Same way as you're heading? If so huge warning sign.

2) I could never shake the image of my old acquaintance when "having fun" with the girl. Maybe I'm weird but it had to end shortly after it began :(.
 
kinda echoing what beiber is saying...if you both break up with your current partners then there won't really be an issue later if you get together.
 
Sage advice actually magnolia!

Dump your missus quick smart (let her down gently). You have no future together if your thinking like you are.

Then let the chips fall where they may.
 
Well, dont know your age but i was 23 when something similar happened to me but the girl was seeing my cousin
she ended it with him just as i was flying out on holiday with my gf.
So i ended it with said gf whilst on holiday, ruined the holiday obviously but did feel like stringing her along
Long story short, cousin was ******, we fell out, huge family barny, but he got over it and me and that girl/woman are still together now, 11 years on, married, got a daughter.... Couldnt be happier!
So sort of justified it all, a lot of hassle to start with and sometimes felt have i made the right decision, not because i didnt like/love her but because of family arguments..
But saying that, If i knew then what i know now, would have go through all that agro again.....
Defo!
 
You should not even be discussing it, You have both cheated already tbh. Two monkeys reaching out for branches togeather! You see this is selfish women all over i hope you know OP that if things go sour she will be having this discussion with another man in the future. If you were my mate and i thought you were discussing this. I would be after your scalp! :D


Also lol at Trains.
 
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mattyfez said:
Sage advice actually magnolia!

Dump your missus quick smart (let her down gently). You have no future together if your thinking like you are.

Then let the chips fall where they may.
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Yeah, I know he's right. My relationship has pretty much ended we no longer live together and its not really a relationship anymore as such.
Where as her's is, and I wish she had kept her mouth shut, until they split up if that were to happen at all.
 
mrbios said:
End both current relationships, be it at the same time or a few weeks apart. Spend a month or two secretly dating (being careful) talk to the friend about how he'd feel if you started dating her (make up some junk about meeting a week earlier and getting along well) come off as the good friend asking for his post-breakup permission (assuming he's over her by then...if not wait) if he says no, well.....jump that hurdle if you get to it, and continue in secret till you device a plan.

Come off as the good guy to friend, get girl. winners.

EDIT: unless the honest route etc is likely to work, sounds unlikely though?
Click to expand...

This doesn't always go as expected. I had a mate I had known for 10+ years, even shared a house with for several of them. Went out one night for the usual cinema trip, he invited someone he had known for equally as long. Turned out me and this girl got on really well. Really really well infact, I then approached my mate and asked if it was ok to "date" her as he had known her for years. He said sure go ahead, as he wasn't interested in her like that.

Fast forward several months and it turned out he did actually fancy her, tried to get with her by breaking us up. 18 months later and he still "tries", obviously he isn't a mate anymore.

This is obviously a situation that has been his own doing, had he been honest from the start, so as others have said, ask first, but don't expect him to be totally honest about it.
 
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