Wow - my most popular post
Think I should have made it a bit clearer in my OP with a bit more detail...
We don't get a bonus, never had, no bonus scheme or performance incentive has ever been introduced; one doesn't even exist in fact.
I went off with stress after many years of problems at work, things I have posted here before - in a nutshell I rubbed the new manager up the wrong way about three years ago, when I dared to point out that they were wrong about something. I thought it was water under the bridge, but over the years people have told me this manager is after me, and to date I have managed to fend off three attempts to get rid of me - that last I won an official grievance against the company that saw that attempt quashed.
I never wanted to go off, but it wasn't until the GP referred me to counselling that it hit me, how much the place was affecting me - it had me and my wife in tears several times before that though; so I should have twigged it then! But back then, as now, it is my salary that is keeping us.
I took a total of three months off, during this time, the departments workload stayed pretty much the same - the company continued the practice of pulling resource from elsewhere, and they also had a couple of contractors in; ex employees... add to that a new starter as well. By comparison, when someone went off for two months with stress last year, the resource levels were similar to those recently.
Assuming there is any truth in the comment I was shown, that the payment is for two of the team 'coping during the stressful time', then surely it's no different to what I and the others went through last year, as the workload and resource levels between those two events were pretty much the same.
It's this last point I have issues with, as I feel it is unfair, and surely an employer can't just do what they like when they like - how is that keeping things fair, keeping an equilibrium in a small team?
As for the payment being made on the basis that I need to 'up my game' as someone put it, I'm the longest serving member with the most experience (might not matter), and cover three different roles, and have continually exceeded all targets - so other than giving my own time up (we don't get overtime); I can't see what more I can do?
Long and short of this though, I know I need to get out of there, people on here have told me that before - as have friends, family, my GP, the counsellor and funnily enough; a company appointed GP.