Does your partner approve of your hobbies?

Tunney · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:20

We have some hobbies in common and some that aren't in common. Never had any grief beyond the occasional raised eyebrow when things come through the post.

Judgeneo · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:26

She doesn't understand but puts up with my interest in politics and the economy, gaming is fine though as long as its not for an extreme amount of time. Its a harmless pursuit after all "What are you doing?" "Killing dragons". Nothing threatening or dangerous at all.

It also gives her an opportunity to watch bizzare TV shows I would fall asleep at.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where_Are_We_Going,_Dad?_(TV_series)
Not for me.

LordSplodge · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:29

bulletv1 said:
My other half has no interest in pc's so i upgrade it when she's not around or bring my pc into work and she won't check inside the case. She would not be pleased how much I've spent on it in the last 6 months (new cpu, mobo 2nd gpu and more w/c parts) lol

Another thing that confuses me. Why do people feel the need to hide the costs of their hobbies?

snips86x · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:32

LordSplodge said:
Another thing that confuses me. Why do people feel the need to hide the costs of their hobbies?

She choked when I mentioned how much a custom loop would cost. Given £300 for a loop isn't bad in comparison to others, she was not impressed and gave the "can't you use the money to treat me/us"!

Josh · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:37

I don't have many hobbies, golf, PC gaming and the gym.

My wife doesn't really mind as the boy who is 7 is now becoming interested in PC's so wants me to build him one, fine by me, means I can upgrade my components and pass the older stuff on to him.

Golf she doesn't mind me doing as it gets me out, she doesn't like the fact clubs are around 300-500 and my old set was around £2000 but I sold it when I was injured and have yet to re buy some new stuff. Dread to think the way that conversation will go.

The gym she is fine with but doesn't like me constantly going on about my latest PB and the next iteration of my "diets" mainly because she doesn't like the smell of my protein farts lol

As for her, she has no hobbies, she is a nightmare to buy for at christmas.

ci_newman · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:37

My wife is pretty understanding on most of my hobbies, I try to give a good balance between personal time and family time though (i.e. no sitting on the PC playing games all weekend, wait until our son has gone to bed).

LordSplodge · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:40

snips86x said:
She choked when I mentioned how much a custom loop would cost. Given £300 for a loop isn't bad in comparison to others, she was not impressed and gave the "can't you use the money to treat me/us"!

But if you *can* afford it *and* you also spend money on each other, days away and such, then what is the problem?

233 · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:41

Kronos said:
She approves of anything that keeps me out of her way.

this

if i'm doing hobby stuff i'm not annoying her

cheesyboy · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:42

snips86x said:
She choked when I mentioned how much a custom loop would cost. Given £300 for a loop isn't bad in comparison to others, she was not impressed and gave the "can't you use the money to treat me/us"!

Do you really not see the other side of that argument?!

Only you know your financial situation and what you have to give up to pay for that, of course, but I know that I would need a very good reason, or plenty of spare cash, to shell out 300 notes on something which offered no discernible benefit.

bulletv1 · 29 Oct 2014 at 11:43

LordSplodge said:
Another thing that confuses me. Why do people feel the need to hide the costs of their hobbies?

Because I know I spend far more than I actually need to on my PC, but am trying to use it for more than FM2014 lol. To be honest I think she knows i spend a lot on it but a lot might be more than she thought. End of the day though using my money so don't matter to her.

Haggisman · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:00

snips86x said:
She choked when I mentioned how much a custom loop would cost. Given £300 for a loop isn't bad in comparison to others, she was not impressed and gave the "can't you use the money to treat me/us"!

My response to that would be "sure, sounds like a good idea. When are you returning that <insert designer's name> handbag/jacket/boots/bracelet/etc.?".

It works both ways...

Street · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:01

Mines pretty understanding with my climbing but she does worry a bit sometimes. I don't think she was too happy with me having three holidays without her to go and climb mountains though. Didn't help that I was away for her birthday with one and missed the first week or her new job with another! No selfish holidays for me next year..

She has started getting into it a little bit though and I've taken her out to do a few low grade routes over the summer!

cheesyboy · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:05

Haggisman said:
My response to that would be "sure, sounds like a good idea. When are you returning that <insert designer's name> handbag/jacket/boots/bracelet/etc.?".

It works both ways...

Not everyone's wife/GF is a shopaholic. I know mine isn't.

Sure, she used to buy some expensive clothes when we were childless, but she's stopped that as part of being a parent. It's the flipside to me cutting down on hobbies, I guess. We all make sacrifices.

OP's relationship might be different, his partner may spend every penny she has on shoes, but it does sound like he needs to think a little less selfishly, IMO.

Freefaller · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:07

As long as you don't take the mick and spend all your time on your hobby and get some quality time together then I don't think there would be an issue. I know I spend a little too much time on the pc at times, but otherwise, going to the gym for example has never caused an issue as it's an important part of my life.

Woogie · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:17

My GF doesn't particulary like that I game but she understands its a hobby and lets me get on with it as long as it doesn't interfere with things that need doing.

Brookert · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:18

Fish keeping? Yea she loves that (as long as it doesn't cost money). Pc gaming? She doesn't mind (as long as it doesn't cost money). Working on cars? She's ok with that (as long as it doesn't cost money).

Do you see the reoccurring theme?

Haggisman · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:27

cheesyboy said:
Not everyone's wife/GF is a shopaholic. I know mine isn't.

Sure, she used to buy some expensive clothes when we were childless, but she's stopped that as part of being a parent. It's the flipside to me cutting down on hobbies, I guess. We all make sacrifices.

OP's relationship might be different, his partner may spend every penny she has on shoes, but it does sound like he needs to think a little less selfishly, IMO.

Oh I agree completely, it's if there's double standards it becomes a problem.

krooton · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:36

Thing is most guys seems to have something to occupy their free time with, whereas of the women I know, there seems to be a 60/40 split of those who have no discernible hobby, and those who do.

Shopping, going out, and watching awful TV shows are not hobbies, yet seem to be the main ways many modern women spend their free time.

#everydaysexism?

Haggisman · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:40

krooton said:
Thing is most guys seems to have something to occupy their free time with, whereas of the women I know, there seems to be a 60/40 split of those who have no discernible hobby, and those who do.

Shopping, going out, and watching awful TV shows are not hobbies, yet seem to be the main ways many modern women spend their free time.

#everydaysexism?

Nah, I agree - my GF doesn't seem to have any real "interests". There are things she does to pass the time - as you say, watching rubbish TV, going out, shopping, but nothing she seems to have an active passion for.

yer_averagejoe · 29 Oct 2014 at 12:49

Haggisman said:
Nah, I agree - my GF doesn't seem to have any real "interests". There are things she does to pass the time - as you say, watching rubbish TV, going out, shopping, but nothing she seems to have an active passion for.

Same. I think it's more common in women than men.