Poll: Strips clubs - harmless fun or disrespectful of your other half?

Strip clubs?

  • Harmless fun

    Votes: 231 55.8%

  • Disrespectful to other half

    Votes: 183 44.2%
  • Total voters
    414
Nix said:
If someone completely invalidates their partner's concerns regardless of if they're warranted or not, then there's a problem.

Something may be seen as being reasonable or the partner unreasonable, but that doesn't give cart-blanche to do it in spite of a partner's feelings. That would then be the unreasonable behaviour.
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Obviously, you'd have words about it (and I'm not talking about a strip club, but anything in general). But someone over-feeling their feelings should not be instant and complete reason to not do something.
 
I've never been to one and I don't have any inclination to do so, personally I'd feel that I'd disrespected my partner in some form and that wouldn't sit well with me. I guess that's just the way I've been brought up.

I've just asked her actually and she's says she'd be a bit upset if I went to one and had paid for a dance. She'd like to think that my needs/desires were being met at home.
 
spoffle said:
Obviously, you'd have words about it (and I'm not talking about a strip club, but anything in general). But someone over-feeling their feelings should not be instant and complete reason to not do something.
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Over the type of bread someone brought home (Hovis or Kingsmill), then yes.

Strip clubs though, would definitely warrant a chat.

It's quite easy to see how a partner would feel insecure, uncomfortable or threatened by strip-clubs or porn for example. The former though, is in person and more tangible whereas the latter is a harmless fap in the shadows.

Personally, I wouldn't like a partner having a wang wind-milled in her face, but it depends entirely on the relationship-dynamic as to what -- if any -- stems my own insecurities. It could be that there's an inherent trust issue for example. Humans are only human, so it's unreasonable to expect someone to curb their own sexuality and to only ever have eyes for their partner. Acting on those urges however, is a different matter entirely.
 
Nix said:
Over the type of bread someone brought home (Hovis or Kingsmill), then yes.

Strip clubs though, would definitely warrant a chat.

It's quite easy to see how a partner would feel insecure, uncomfortable or threatened by strip-clubs or porn for example. The former though, is in person and more tangible whereas the latter is a harmless fap in the shadows.

Personally, I wouldn't like a partner having a wang wind-milled in her face, but it depends entirely on the relationship-dynamic as to what -- if any -- stems my own insecurities. It could be that there's an inherent trust issue for example. Humans are only human, so it's unreasonable to expect someone to curb their own sexuality and to only ever have eyes for their partner. Acting on those urges however, is a different matter entirely.
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This is why I've said multiple times that I'm not talking specifically about a strip club, but rather tacking the attitude of "you should never do anything your parter gets upset about or doesn't like, or you're not suited together".
 
I overthink things far too much to switch off and enjoy the experience. I find the whole thing odd, you pay someone to act like they are sexually attracted to you....I've got someone at home who genuinely is...

I guess if you are young and single its a bit of fun, but married men? Just seems so bizarre...
 
Went to one with a close friend after he had a serious breakup. This was just a seedy whore house with various underage eastern Europeans. Extortionate drinks and not even any dancing, just scantily glad women hanging off your should asking to go to the back room, or to buy them a $200 champagne bottle to get their **** out.

Pretty horrid experience if you ask me.
 
spoffle said:
My point was where do you draw the line with what to do or not do based on them being upset by it. You're drawing out in to something bigger than it needs to be, and the suggestion of "well you shouldn't be together" is completely missing the point, and is a very bizarre way to respond to that.
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I know exactly what my wife likes and dislikes and she knows that I know. If I do something she dislikes, I do it knowingly, which means I hurt her feelings on purpose. I don't want to hurt my wife's feelings on purpose so I don't do what she doesn't like. What's so bizarre about this stance?
 
Zethor said:
I know exactly what my wife likes and dislikes and she knows that I know. If I do something she dislikes, I do it knowingly, which means I hurt her feelings on purpose. I don't want to hurt my wife's feelings on purpose so I don't do what she doesn't like. What's so bizarre about this stance?
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Because it suggests that she's being reasonable all the time, which I don't think is realistic.
 
MookJong said:
I overthink things far too much to switch off and enjoy the experience. I find the whole thing odd, you pay someone to act like they are sexually attracted to you....I've got someone at home who genuinely is...

I guess if you are young and single its a bit of fun, but married men? Just seems so bizarre...
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What is odder is, as someone said earlier in this thread, you pay to get sexually frustrated. go home, cook a romantic meal for your SO, get the fire going and then get your own sexy time:D

Even if you are single i don't see the appeal in making yourself frustrated. Even if you can't pick up chicks easily I think watching porn or just finding a hooker is preferable really.
 
spoffle said:
Because it suggests that she's being reasonable all the time, which I don't think is realistic.
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She's not reasonable all the time and nor am I but we're in it together so we don't waste time debating/arguing over meaningless issues, we just avoid doing things the other dislikes. It works for us, it doesn't have to work for everyone. ;)
 
Go quite a bit and my wife doesn't mind however she thinks it's all like the American stuff a fiver in her garter not what really happens.

Last time I went I had a great time but I did come out £500 lighter.
 
I've been to a few and really don't enjoy the hard sell that you get in the UK places I've been to. I understand why - the girls don't make anything if they don't sell the private dances, but it still doesn't make it particularly fun.

What is nice is that a couple of the US places I've been to where you stick a dollar bill in the thong every so often and what have you, is that you can by and large chill and have some beers with your mates. The girls that get on stage make $50-$100 when they're up so there's no the same pressure for the private shows.

So what we have learned here is that we need £1 notes back.
 
maccapacca said:
Go quite a bit and my wife doesn't mind however she thinks it's all like the American stuff a fiver in her garter not what really happens.

Last time I went I had a great time but I did come out £500 lighter.
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That's either some top class dancers you're getting or you're paying for sexual acts.
 
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