12 years of marriage

your oh sounds like a right selfish ****.


either that or well i won't even go there
 
teenwolf said:
yes that perfectly sums it up, but she just says i am the ******** and its me at fault. i cant walk away i love those kids so much and her.

we were suppose to be going shopping tomorrow where iu have saved 1k to spoil her, and ealier she said are we still going then, i cant be taken for a mug any longer.
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I wouldn't throw more gifts at her, that's not the solution to the problem here. She'll be happy for like a day and next trip to the gym and will be back to normal.

You should start to address the balance, make new friends, reconnect with old friends. If she tries to stop you then tell her she can make new friends at the gym and so can you.
 
I know it's hard but have just tried saying to her im going out ect or im going to take time to think about us, don't let her control everything say no im not going shopping tomorrow it may shock her to see that you are not going to be her door mat
 
Perhaps you should think of some hobbies that you have let slip over the years or ones that you always wished you could start and tell her than you are going to be doing those a few nights a week.

I recommend climbing and strip clubs.
 
teenwolf said:
yes that perfectly sums it up, but she just says i am the ******** and its me at fault. i cant walk away i love those kids so much and her.

we were suppose to be going shopping tomorrow where iu have saved 1k to spoil her, and ealier she said are we still going then, i cant be taken for a mug any longer.
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You seem to be really focused on money being the be all and end all.
 
why doesn't she go to the gym during the day when your at work? if she can and she doesn't, and prefers to go in the evening when you are home, on the excuse of class buddies etc, then something is not right,

I hate to say it, but I would suspect an affair, even if its only in the early stages, possibly with a gym rat, workout and going for coffee afterwards etc,

lay down the law, put this to the test and ask her to change her gym schedule, if she refuses then it is likely she is fitting it around another. so to speak.
 
Ine thing, as she is a 'housewife' she sees herself getting out of the house for an hour or two as her release for the day. She may perceive you as getting 'away time' by going to work all day. This perception if it is the case isn't particularly valid, as away time, alone time, me time certainly in most jobs isn't work time.

This might be distorting her view of the relationship.
 
fez said:
Perhaps you should think of some hobbies that you have let slip over the years or ones that you always wished you could start and tell her than you are going to be doing those a few nights a week.

I recommend climbing and strip clubs.
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Climbing is ace, if you can't find a belay partner. Just take up bouldering :D
 
ZG002 said:
Climbing is ace, if you are a man just take up bouldering :D
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I agree

This has the added benefit that most girls who climb have much better bodies that girls that go to the gym. Its also super fun.
 
What's going wrong is your letting her push you about. She's just another person with womanly parts. Tell her to fix up or get the **** out of the house. Lay down the law be a man and set her straight. Your being mugged of right now. She's more than likely having an affair with a guy named Pablo down at the gym whilst your at home budgeting for her shopping trip. Please don't let her walk all over you, or in 5 months time she will be pregnant and you will need a DNA test.
 
ElliottJames said:
What's going wrong is your letting her push you about. She's just another person with womanly parts. Tell her to fix up or get the **** out of the house. Lay down the law be a man and set her straight. Your being mugged of right now. She's more than likely having an affair with a guy named Pablo down at the gym whilst your at home budgeting for her shopping trip. Please don't let her walk all over you, or in 5 months time she will be pregnant and you will need a DNA test.
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You do realise that a Mother with 3 kids will Top Trump him no matter what she's been up to and he'll have to get out still paying the bills?
 
Dimple said:
You do realise that a Mother with 3 kids will Top Trump him no matter what she's been up to and he'll have to get out still paying the bills?
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Well if it was me she would be out of the door as fast as possible with the suitcase out of the window. Not even a second thought, she sounds like a piece of work.
 
Sounds dodgy as hell tbh, i understand your youngest might not be in full time school yet but leaving for 1/2 hours every night seems a bit dodgy. has anything changed with your sex life or her attitude towards you? it seems like a relationship of convenience for her sake.

as suggested i would cancel the gym DD and see how long it takes before she notices, if she even does!

I love my wife but i would not stay with her if it was just for the kids, you keep saying how much money it is taking to keep her happy, 2k spends for new york (plus the cost of the trip), 1k shopping trip (if this isnt a special occasion this screams marital issues imo), gym membership... maybe suggest putting your youngest in nursery for an hour a day so she can go to the gym during the day.
 
Dimple said:
You do realise that a Mother with 3 kids will Top Trump him no matter what she's been up to and he'll have to get out still paying the bills?
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He still lives off the bank of mum and dad. He knows nothing beyond "buy me this!".
 
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