Family Business, your experience!

[3DNow!]

Hi,

Just a little background as to why I have started this thread. I' am 27 and since 16 I have been mostly involved in the family business , about 6 months ago I decided to find a job as it wasn't doing too well and i worked for about 4 months. It wasn't anything fancy but It felt good working within the barrier instead of stretching yourself outside it all the time.

It has been roughly 2 months since I left that job and rejoined the business and I don't know why but I don't find myself too focused or too happy coming back to it.

I know it's very vague in what I have written but I just wanted some advice and some feedback from people that have been involved in business with family.

Did you find it better or worse?

 

[Pestilence]

"The Family Business"

Are you the Enforcer?

 

[unwashed potato!]

my guess is you're either not pushed, not interested in the industry the business is in, or just have it too easy to not work as there is no threat of being fired so aren't enjoying it. staff need to feel the whips of their masters to be at their best and being at your best is motivating and what gets people out of bed in the morning.

 

[wilber]

Once in they said i could never leave alive...

 

[MaX_PoWah]

I have being working for my dads company for 4 years since leaving university.

I have mixed feelings about it all, I think my dad had fallen out with the business model when I started working with him and I was full of interest.. I have built the work up with him and got us to the point where we are at now, but now neither of us are interested due to all the grief and issues it generates.

My main regret is not at least doing a year in industry during my degree because I feel like I know nothing else but working with him.

I have being doing an MSC and my RICS charter ship to try and broaden my horizons but I am not sure what I think.

Stupid thing is we have done really well in the last year but the money doesn't seem to be motivating us anymore.

I am 28 so a similar age to you..

I have even tried seeing a pyscho therapist to try and understand what I want to do with myself and one of the outcomes of that is that I am absorbing all of my dads issues which I suppose is understandable given we work so closely but is it healthy?

 

[Rroff]

It has been roughly 2 months since I left that job and rejoined the business and I don't know why but I don't find myself too focused or too happy coming back to it.

By this do you mean you feel out of touch with the business flow and not really sure how you fit into it or that it just doesn't motivate you at all?

 

[Paul11]

My experience is that wherever possible do not work with family or friends.

 

[3DNow!]

By this do you mean you feel out of touch with the business flow and not really sure how you fit into it or that it just doesn't motivate you at all?

The business itself is nothing exciting, just a grocery shop but I just feel there is nothing more that I could contribute to it and the fact I've been doing it for so long, since at the age of 16, I suppose it has dried me up. I feel out of touch not only with the business but with life also, I mean I worked for 4 months and I liked it because it meant, I had a permanent day off, I knew I was going to get my wage (proper, if you know what I mean) on a specific day, on time.

With the family business, it's just always tolerating the businesses necessities and importance over me, and the fact it was family you kinda had to just shut up and treat it like the business comes first and if there is time well see to you.

I have being working for my dads company for 4 years since leaving university.

I have mixed feelings about it all, I think my dad had fallen out with the business model when I started working with him and I was full of interest.. I have built the work up with him and got us to the point where we are at now, but now neither of us are interested due to all the grief and issues it generates.

My main regret is not at least doing a year in industry during my degree because I feel like I know nothing else but working with him.

I have being doing an MSC and my RICS charter ship to try and broaden my horizons but I am not sure what I think.

Stupid thing is we have done really well in the last year but the money doesn't seem to be motivating us anymore.

I am 28 so a similar age to you..

I have even tried seeing a pyscho therapist to try and understand what I want to do with myself and one of the outcomes of that is that I am absorbing all of my dads issues which I suppose is understandable given we work so closely but is it healthy?

Yes, some of the things you have mentioned could be said about me also on how I feel, it's just I feel I've wasted a lot of time and effort into something that has left me unprepared at this age, emotionally I suppose, if I were to go out and find a job I feel I don't have the skills.
I also used to think working for family was the best job, but not anymore, it's like the business drama comes home with you when you just want to keep it at the work place and vice versa, I haven't been on holiday either for about 3 years or so and it feels life is come down to just work and home.

I would say my main regret is also not continuing my education further and I think exploring the opportunities that are out there even now and at that time when you are younger.

"The Family Business"


Are you the Enforcer?

I had to LOL at that, imagine applying for a mortgage or similar and writing down occupation "Enforcer"

Once in they said i could never leave alive...

lol

 

[boxman2000]

From the little experience I have personally but have witnessed through my extended family, I think the biggest thing I have noticed is it's easy to become institutionalised.

Often by the time the owners children/relatives are up to speed they have lost interest in the core reasonings behind why they started the business in the first place. Sometimes the children/relatives want to run things their way or see some of their suggestions being considered and that can create tension as of course the owner(s) have toiled to get where they are and don't want to see it fall apart, from a monetary point of view (often this is their retirement fund) but also from a pride/legacy point of view.

Every situation is different but I think the key is it requires compromise on both sides - the children/relatives need to be able to feel they have some kind of control/input into the business as often just because something has always been done a certain way doesn't mean it is the most cost/time effective. Also the owner(s) need to be acknowledged for their achievements and the fact that they should know their business best.

My extended family have had a business for nearly 30 years, started by a husband and wife. All three of their children have worked for their parents as well as their spouses. The parents are now retired and only one of the children work for the company (director) but the sad part is that it has split the family apart and one sibling no longer communicates with the rest of the family at all – one of many issues this has caused.

One that recently left and started in the public sector is absolutely loving their job but really struggled with confidence as to whether they could ‘make it’ in the real world as they acknowledged that certain positive aspects were simply down to the fact she was related to the owner (pay, flexible hours, relaxed working etc).

Ironically after the above comments I actually work with my father, or my father now works for me should I say but we are both employees and have worked with each other before.

I think there is much we can learn from working with family but if relationship is likely to get strained then family should come before business for sure.

 

[mattyfez]

All in the game yo, ain't no leavin'.

State's Atty. Ilene Nathan: And what is your occupation?
Omar Little: Occupation?
State's Atty. Ilene Nathan: What exactly do you do for a living, Mr. Little?
Omar Little: I rip and run.
State's Atty. Ilene Nathan: You...?
Omar Little: I robs drug dealers!

And various other quotes from the wire.

 

[Avalon]

Family and business can be a dangerous combination. I learnt more about my father as a person from working with him than I ever managed being his son, i'm just not sure if that in any way outweighs the issues it brings to the family and work dynamic. If that wasn't complicated enough I employ my wife part time.... Yep, work can be an interesting place to be

 

[MaX_PoWah]

Family and business can be a dangerous combination. I learnt more about my father as a person from working with him than I ever managed being his son, i'm just not sure if that in any way outweighs the issues it brings to the family and work dynamic.

I don't think it does, it's not healthy taking things home all the time.

Do you think working for a family business can result in you developing less as a person?

 

[Arsonist]

It sounds like the business is boring you and you're getting nothing out of it. I have two short suggestions.

First, change the business. Try a new venture in the same area or mix up how you run it. Also try and set some boundaries as to how much it impacts your personal life.

Second, get a new job outside of the family business, preferably in the industry you're academically trained in. This might give you a bit more of a buzz.

 

[Fuzz]

Never again!
I was made to work, before school, on weekends and any other time they deemed that I wasn't doing anything productive with myself.

Once I'd finished college and had enough of the "just help us out today as a favour attitude" (took a couple more years after that) I got a full time job with another company...

Have felt like I am tolerated but an outcast ever since..

 

[anything I don't mind]

Give them a speech about how you need to make your own path in life. Might work. But its important to add the caveat that if they ever need you that you will be there in an instant.

 

[Mr Badger]

I heard an interesting point of view from a small business owner about this. He now employs his son, however before he would give him a job he insisted that he first work successfully somewhere else first for a year so he understood what it is like to have to turn up on time, meet professional standards etc. As far as I can tell the son now enjoys/appreciates working with his dad rather than at the larger company where he started, although I think they are both quite interested in the business.

Mind you I knew a guy who refused to manage a restaurant on the grounds that (in his words) he didn't want to work with Chinese people. Which was quite funny, as it was his own family that owned the restaurant in question - plus a few others. So yes, he was indeed Chinese himself, but determined not to enter the family business.

 

[peige]

I don't think its necessarily a good thing, I think you should do something else for a while and then join a little later in life if its still what you want to do.
I worked for my father for 25 years, in the last 5 years I took over pretty much all of it and then he died last year so now my name is over the door so to speak and the company is mine.

He could never pass it on while he was alive and was a complete pain with many an argument as he felt he was "loosing control" of the business, which really he was as it evolved beyond him in and the industry has changed.

In general I think its rare that it works out well and I wouldn't recommend it, the reality is you have to be tough on the people working for you and if anything tougher on the family you have working for you as you feel they should know better.

My son wants to come work here too but I've told him to get a qualification and go work somewhere else till his in his mid 20's and has a better idea about life. When I reflect I wish I had done this but I do have a good standard of life and for the most part I do enjoy what I do.

 

[panthro]

My dad worked for the family business for many years. Nearly all my dads immediate family were involved and it was highly successful and profitable. Then my dad fell out with my grandfather, left the business and it went **** up because he was pretty much the linchpin. Then my grandfather died still on not v good terms with my dad and he regretted the whole incident (I think). My uncle who was running the business asked my dad to go back and sort it out, which he did but it was never the same.
Going into business with family IMO is a really really bad idea.

 

[postbox]

11 years now with my Dad's company - started as office junior, now Director. Learnt / still learning the business as it's a pretty specialised line of work.

I think there are way too many variables including the relationship you have with your family on a personal and working level for people to give advise on whether it's a good idea or not.

Personally for me it works, but that's all to do with the set up of the business, understanding each-other's roles, being able to challenge / question ideas freely. We are both able to switch into business mode and back out with ease (I don't even call him "Dad" at work) and because of that we have never fallen out.

 

[3DNow!]

Never again!
I was made to work, before school, on weekends and any other time they deemed that I wasn't doing anything productive with myself.

Once I'd finished college and had enough of the "just help us out today as a favour attitude" (took a couple more years after that) I got a full time job with another company...

Have felt like I am tolerated but an outcast ever since..

I think this is one of the issues or a worry for me, is that most of my time working for the family, it seems as if I have done what they wanted but they never seem happy or is it enough or satisfactory.

As I said before, I feel as though it has now come to the point where the business isn't doing too great but we are putting more effort in for less reward, but it always seemed like that to me ever since I started working for my family. one example would be, if asked to stay a couple of hours more than usual to finish off some work, sure if it was a person we employed and he did do us this favour we would be grateful to him or at least appreciate that he is cooperating with us, but when it comes to me there isn't any of that but rather it is expected to do so.

it just feels there are double standards and those kind of shenanigans going on that I take notice to.

would love more experiences and reviews of people and thanks to the people that have replied, I guess a decision will have to be made soon for better or for worse but a decision none the less I suppose.