Bullies, at 5 years old

I understand what you are saying about not wanting him to fight back..

But this needs to be done imo, he needs to be taught that this isn't acceptable and he needs to fight back, Bullying is a disgusting thing.

I would also go and see the parents of the little sod that is doing it and get heated with them.
 
Headmaster/Headmistress.

After every incident.

We had similar problems with my son (he's by far the biggest in his class and always has been), in Y1, we had a meeting with the old head (who mysteriously disappeared after poor OFSTED results) and his teacher at the time was "Well it always seems to be Josh who has the trouble". I hit the roof. The other kid left shortly afterwards.

Now in Y6, there's a little scrote in his class who seems to have taken a dislike to Josh. Last month I went to pick him up from school and saw the teacher talking to Josh and said scrote who was in floods of tears. It all stemmed from scrote moving Josh's pencil case, Josh moving it back, rinse and repeat. Scrote pinched Josh on the arm, leaving a nasty bruise, Josh retaliated and punched scrote, putting him on his backside. Teacher sides with Josh, having seen the antagonism from scrote, but has to tell him off for the punch.

I have now taught Josh something from our OST on how to get an antagonist away without resorting to punches. ;)
 
Always a tricky one and fighting back isn't always the answer - the bullies at my junior and secondary school were both bullies and proper "hardcases" - seen 2 of them kicking another lad on the floor til he was unconscious and ended up needing stitches after he tried to stand upto them.
 
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Tough one tbh... Also, I have no idea what 5 year olds are like - a while since I was one and I don't know any! But I would say definitely keep trying with the teachers, and make sure they know the actual name of the other kid, but if they've been idle for a while, then maybe having a chat with your son about hitting back in a controlled way might be the way to go...

I remember when I were a bairn there was one boy in particular who used to bully me in Year 3 (name calling and verbal abuse more than physical, but it was pretty intense), and after a while of my parents complaining and the teachers not doing much the deputy head had a chat with me and said that he'd tell us both off as the other guy had said that I'd been calling him names too (the lying scrote), and although personally he believed that I was innocent, he would tell both of us off so the other guy didn't think he was being unfair. So, he gave us both (together) a good telling off in his office (I don't think he'd had the same chat with the other boy), and after that the problem stopped. In hindsight I imagine he did this because he was under pressure from the other boy's parents, and it was a pretty clever move on his behalf!

There were other bullies at school though, and in hindsight I do wish I'd had the confidence to hit some of them - I think in some cases it would have stopped the problem. Teachers are usually slow to react at best, and totally misallocate blame at worst.
 
I had a similair situation when I was a kid being targeted etc. (but with a surname like small one should expect it!). I told my dad and he taught me to never strike first but always be the last to strike.

It was Year 6 when it stopped as 'the hardest kid in school' was hitting me and i clocked him a few times and that was the end of it.

My parents also put me into karate classes to help build my confidence up which helped with the bullying situation.
 
smallzz said:
I told my dad and he taught me to never strike first but always be the last to strike.
Click to expand...

Words of wisdom from Rear Admiral Fayshun sr. RN rtd.

"Twice blessed is he whose cause is just,
Thrice blessed is he who gets his punch in fust".

:D
 
This is something that really scares the crap out of me. My son is due to start school in August. He is also very tall, and well built for his age. We've been told that he will be 6ft 5" plus when he is fully grown, but he is very gentle and very tactile.

I can appreciate that you are concerned about this, but when I was in secondary school I was bullied for want of a better word. It was mostly by girls. I was head and shoulders above everyone else in school, including the teachers and this made my life very difficult. In my final year in school I eventually did something about the bullying. I was in a school assembly and some boy behind me was flicking my ears. I completely lost the plot, in the middle of the assembly. The culmination of which was a few hour cool down in the heads office. I beat this kid black and blue. But you know what, I did not get into trouble. It was the best thing I ever did. The bullying completely stopped at this point. I mean, completely. Overnight. I should have done it years ago I thought then. My life after that point changed for the better. I finally stood up to it. I did not make me a bad person. I am now 6ft 8" and very well built. But I am not a bully. I am tactile like my son; a gentle giant.
 
I was bullied at school, teachers did nothing despite my mother trying to bring it to their attention. I ended up lumping a few of the kids out of pure frustration and never went back to that school again so if all else fails teach your son how to throw a good punch, sometimes the only thing that will sort out issues in the playground is taking on yourself

ps. I turned out fine if you're wondering
 
I was bullied heavily at school and even after specifically telling my parents not to "talk to the school" they did anyway which just made it worse. So I never bothered to tell them any more after that. I went to a properly rough secondary, it's been knocked down now. When I was in A-Level my parents told some other people that "Well at my son's school they had all-male classes!" Which was a total lie the school told them in year 7, and I specifically told them otherwise many times. I also broke down crying begging to be moved to another school, anda llt hey did was send me in anyway and ring the school to tell them I was "disturbed" (obviously this was then passed round by all the staff and I was bullied for it - again)

All I'll say is, don't be blind and incredibly naive and lazy like my parents because your child will resent you for it.
 
The school is only in loco parentis for 6 hours of the day, Dad has to put up with the effects of the bullying for the other 18 hours.

Like I said, it's totally Dad's (or Mum's) business, especially if the school isn't doing anything about it.
 
fatiain said:
The school is only in loco parentis for 6 hours of the day, Dad has to put up with the effects of the bullying for the other 18 hours.

Like I said, it's totally Dad's (or Mum's) business, especially if the school isn't doing anything about it.
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Schools do not allow bullying as per policy, hence it does not happen.

Please stop this conspiracy nut-job stuff.
 
I've been in meetings with my kids headmistress after my son was subject to a sustained period of abuse and violence from another child over a number of weeks.

I have seen a police report from the same school where a child with special needs was assaulted because she has special needs.


Speculative enough?
 
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