News: Confusing Courts - Divorce

cheesyboy · 11 Mar 2015 at 12:58

Haggisman said:
If she receives a retrospective maintenance payment, then should her benefits also be retrospectively calculated, and any over payment be deducted from the settlement and instead paid back to the DWP?

Maintenance payments don't affect benefit receipt, as far as I understand it.

AtreuS · 11 Mar 2015 at 13:03

My take is this....

She brought up his son, he became a millionaire and didnt even sort her something for the fact that he paid sod all for his spawn.

If it was me i would have at least bought her a house... i mean the dude has 100million quid and she is the mother of his child.

Should she get lots of money? no... should she get some recompense for the fact he was a bum for most of the kids life and she had to bring him up... yes.

CREATIVE!11 · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:08

I always say,

Marriage is a bad deal and means nothing for men, I don't know why they do it. Well I know why.... society MASSIVELY pressures you and girls do too with retarded songs like "put a ring on it". Don't even get me started about the need to buy a ridiculously expensive diamond ring (Yes because that shows I love you...) that is basically worthless because diamonds are not actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated by the de beers diamond company...

Best part is you get shamed by people if you speak out against marriage. Love it. YOU BAD PERSON YOU! for not buying into the collective delusion that you should get married and allow a woman to bankrupt you! shame on you sir for looking out for your own interests you selfish individual!!!11

Yeah great put a ring on it because I need the government to ratify my relationship and afterwards it means you can take me to the cleaners and take 50% my net worth....

LOL... now i'm not saying there is anything wrong with for example supporting your wife if she stayed at home and raised the kids whilst you brought home the bacon. But there is a massive bias in divorces, I hear stories of woman cheating then still taking money off their husband... In fact I knew a guy who had this happen to him. She cheated, took the kids and then took his money.

platypus · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:16

That's probably because you hear about bad marriages and messy divorces, good ones that do work you don't.

My marriage certainly means plenty to me.

CREATIVE!11 · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:19

platypus said:
good ones that do work you don't.

I just need to look at divorce statistics to realise my chances don't look great.

The Dread Pirate · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:29

anticonscience said:
Oh the irnoning.

What be "Irnoning"? :confused:

peige · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:30

Dj_Jestar said:
We are also light on the reasons for the divorce - it could be anything, perhaps one of them was rampantly shagging everything that moved, domestic abuse, or just "irreconcilable differences" - and even the date of divorce is missing.

Doesn't matter why they divorced, courts never care about who's fault it is, they just look for a "fair" deal for the kids if there are any. As soon as you have a child in marriage its a game changer.
I read the real problem as they never bothered to divorce properly and get a full and formal financial settlement. As such she has been able to come back at him years later for some money for their child, which won't be anything like the amount she first says she wants but is liable to be a decent amount into the kids upbringing.

Pretty much every proper divorce sorts out the final financial details upon finalisation. Most fathers if they do well later in life would look out for their child.

Haggisman · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:33

platypus said:
That's probably because you hear about bad marriages and messy divorces, good ones that do work you don't.

My marriage certainly means plenty to me.

Do you define your marriage by a piece of paper or the relationship?

If it's the latter, then what difference does marriage actually make?

If it's the former, then I'd be inclined to think that your marriage is one of the bad ones.

Lifelong · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:36

Haggisman said:
Do you define your marriage by a piece of paper or the relationship?

If it's the latter, then what difference does marriage actually make?

If it's the former, then I'd be inclined to think that your marriage is one of the bad ones.

I don't think things are as clear cut. Getting married is a formalisation of the relationship. I think it signifies that BOTH parties are viewing this as extremely serious. I can see why you could argue its not needed, but imo I think it serves an important part.

Zenduri · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:46

MumsNet users will be seeing dollar signs now!

This is the exact reason why wealthy Brits need HSBC to hide all their money.

The Dread Pirate · 11 Mar 2015 at 14:51

HybridX said:
This is the exact reason why wealthy Brits need HSBC to hide all their money.

Shhh they'll be onto u... :eek:

...Erm... I mean what Money? *whistles innocently*

Haggisman · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:03

Lifelong said:
I don't think things are as clear cut. Getting married is a formalisation of the relationship. I think it signifies that BOTH parties are viewing this as extremely serious. I can see why you could argue its not needed, but imo I think it serves an important part.

It only serves an important part because society tells us it serves an important part.

Practically speaking, I've yet to hear a reason how/why marriage makes any difference to a relationship which you can't replicate through other means (other than "because I want to" - which is fair enough if that's your thing

)

arknor · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:03

CREATIVE!11 said:
I always say,

Marriage is a bad deal and means nothing for men, I don't know why they do it. Well I know why.... society MASSIVELY pressures you and girls do too with retarded songs like "put a ring on it". Don't even get me started about the need to buy a ridiculously expensive diamond ring (Yes because that shows I love you...) that is basically worthless because diamonds are not actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated by the de beers diamond company...

Best part is you get shamed by people if you speak out against marriage. Love it. YOU BAD PERSON YOU! for not buying into the collective delusion that you should get married and allow a woman to bankrupt you! shame on you sir for looking out for your own interests you selfish individual!!!11

Yeah great put a ring on it because I need the government to ratify my relationship and afterwards it means you can take me to the cleaners and take 50% my net worth....

LOL... now i'm not saying there is anything wrong with for example supporting your wife if she stayed at home and raised the kids whilst you brought home the bacon. But there is a massive bias in divorces, I hear stories of woman cheating then still taking money off their husband... In fact I knew a guy who had this happen to him. She cheated, took the kids and then took his money.

If they aren't religious marriage should mean nothing

platypus · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:19

CREATIVE!11 said:
I just need to look at divorce statistics to realise my chances don't look great.

40% chance of divorce means 60% chance of not. Agreed though, it doesn't look good.

I wonder what happened in 1972. The first year there was more than 100,000 divorces, and a whopping jump of almost 50k!

platypus · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:22

arknor said:
If they aren't religious marriage should mean nothing

Why "should" it?

anything I don't mind · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:23

With women working now as much as men, it will only be a matter of time before we hear about cases where a man gets the children and the house and the women has to send a monthly payment to the man.

CREATIVE!11 · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:27

Haggisman said:
It only serves an important part because society tells us it serves an important part.

Practically speaking, I've yet to hear a reason how/why marriage makes any difference to a relationship which you can't replicate through other means (other than "because I want to" - which is fair enough if that's your thing )

Yep.

anything I don't mind said:
With women working now as much as men, it will only be a matter of time before we hear about cases where a man gets the children and the house and the women has to send a monthly payment to the man.

LOL! that will be a LONG way off.

platypus · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:28

Tax breaks!

CREATIVE!11 · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:31

platypus said:
Tax breaks!

I'd rather marry my best mate and business partner if I needed that.

We joked about this actually....and I would probably do it because marriage has no meaning to me anyway.

Plus I thought the look on my families face if I married my friend would be comic.

manic_man · 11 Mar 2015 at 15:38

As somebody about to get married in a totally non-religious capacity and of my own free will with little to no social pressure felt I can honestly say the following:

The basic premise of marriage as a way to show your devotion and love for another is alive and well, if anything I personally feel marriage for this reason has more meaning than those who do it simply because their life-doctrines require it...

We won't be signing any pre-nuptial agreement (partly because my other half is a lawyer and can cite less divorce cases where a pre-nup has actually counted in the UK courts than I have fingers) and because I trust her as evidently she does me. If in the future this trust is found to be misplace or we actually aren't as suited to living together for life as I currently think then so be it. I would rather take the "risk" that this won't be the case than never even try.

If you have found that other person who you feel completely comfortable sharing everything about you and your life with and you have no intention of ever looking elsewhere then what is wrong with demonstrating this devotion? If you are with somebody that doesn't fit the above and still considering marriage then that's just silly and more fool that person!