Love/hate women opinions..

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:19

Just thought I'd put this up, since I kinda realised something, since my break up, just from how I act/things i do or say.

I wouldn't say i've had the easiest time with women growing up, being mis-lead, mistreated etc..you know how women are, not saying guys aren't as bad but still, own experience. But it sometimes feels like from all the bad times I've had with women, i've formed a sort of trust/hate relationship towards them.

Even though I can be nice at first until I get what I want, I used to be a generally nice guy, that type to get friendzoned haha. Over the years I've gotten better, but now my previous relationship, I was all cheesey,loving and caring like i naturally am.

And then I just start to lose interest, be an a**hole, and pretend I dont even care about her anymore, the things I said, I knew the consequences yet I still did it to get a reaction.

I don't understand, is it possible to love women, and still need them, but hate them at the same time like you want revenge for what they've done to you?

http://www.lovesicklove.com/2011/07/...ate-women.html
This article kinda sums up and ticks off the boxes... any opinion guys? lol

Hades · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:29

I think you're looking at women the wrong way and considering it a "them and us" situation. The truth is they are just as individual as you are and have probably had just as many bad relationships as you have. When you first meet someone then there is no reason to mistreat them because of a orevious failed relationship.

Yes it's possible to have a love / hate relationship but it won't be a happy one for either of you.

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:32

Hades said:
I think you're looking at women the wrong way and considering it a "them and us" situation. The truth is they are just as individual as you are and have probably had just as many bad relationships as you have. When you first meet someone then there is no reason to mistreat them because of a orevious failed relationship.

Yes it's possible to have a love / hate relationship but it won't be a happy one for either of you.

I'm 22, this was my first relationship, I've gotten with girls before but never committed, this girl was different, someone that actually ticked all my boxes. And it feels like I purposely ruined it or tried to push her away, by being a complete jerk and insensitive of her feelings, got few chances and still carried it on lol. Cant say this hasnt happened before with other women in the past

MookJong · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:33

And then I just start to lose interest, be an a**hole, and pretend I dont even care about her anymore, the things I said, I knew the consequences yet I still did it to get a reaction.

You started off the post saying women were the problem and granted some are a problem. But the quote above is the key to your post. It sounds like you have insecurity about committing so sabotaged the relationship.

Were you scared to be your true self with her, was she getting too close so you pushed her away?

WillyNelson · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:38

lawrence281 said:
I don't understand, is it possible to love women, and still need them, but hate them at the same time like you want revenge for what they've done to you?

Serial killer much?

Commala · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:38

Maybe should have said all this to her instead of us?

D3K · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:40

Learn from how you have acted in relationships to date, and adjust accordingly.

As hard or as unnatural as it may feel, it sounds like you should be a little more flat with your emotions in the beginning. Let the overwhelming honeymoon phase of a new relationship boil down and when you begin to feel that this is the best person you've ever met, then start showing them those emotions (if they still exist). The build up in affection from their point of view will be appreciated in kind.

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:43

MookJong said:
You started off the post saying women were the problem and granted some are a problem. But the quote above is the key to your post. It sounds like you have insecurity about committing so sabotaged the relationship.

Were you scared to be your true self with her, was she getting too close so you pushed her away?

I'd say I was pretty attached to her as well as she was me, I was nothing but myself to her. we were only together for 2 months, and did had one of the best amazing days out/memories....but idk I feel like i could have commitment issues just from being played over the years by girls?

[FnG]magnolia · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:44

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:45

WillyNelson said:
Serial killer much?

haha nah I would never hurt a lady, but I guess to the point to try make them feel how i felt with what women did to me in the past? I dont know..I need therapy? eh xD

timebomb26 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:48

I'd say you haven't actually met the right women yet.

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:49

It's just we have amazing days out, and im the nicest guy ever for a month and a half, and then I just turn into a ***** and push her away lol

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:50

timebomb26 said:
I'd say you haven't actually met the right women yet.

Well, this girl was the closest thing I've had to being the right women that Ive ever met, and everything was fine, honeymoon period, love..which is infacuated by fascination and exctiment, I guess not true. but Its just personal issues just ruin it on purpose lol

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:52

But doesnt explain
Why the first 2 months with her were amazing, nice days out, honeymoon feeling, felt like nothing could ever go wrong
and then one week, I go and ruin it
and pretend like she doesnt exist, or care about her in any way possible, she could get hit by a car, and i woudnt blink

[FnG]magnolia · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:52

Aren't you the chap with Tourettes who was dating a furry or self-harmer or some other broken person, in their first relationship, and barely into his twenties?

You don't need therapy, you need to let life happen to you.

MikeTheNative · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:53

Are you sure that your actually just not a nice person who managed to hide for the first month?

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:55

[FnG]magnolia;28253902 said:
Aren't you the chap with Tourettes who was dating a furry or self-harmer or some other broken person, in their first relationship, and barely into his twenties?

You don't need therapy, you need to let life happen to you.

Haha yes I am, and she was bi-polar, but it wasn't showing that much in the time. she controlled it well, but I decided to say things to ruin it without thinking. I've done it countless times in the past and i dont learn haha.

I used to have therapy as a child for my tourret's because it was linked to my behavioural problems and stopped at 16 when I learnt to control them. Possibly not completely vanished

ci_newman · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:56

Inb4 closet gay

lawrence281 · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:58

MikeTheNative said:
Are you sure that your actually just not a nice person who managed to hide for the first month?

I'd say im a nice person, just problem is, I dont think before I say, or sometimes care about other peoples feelings lol. I'm generally fine and go on about life as normal, its only when I get too close to a girl and then it brings out a other side of me

elmarko · 1 Jul 2015 at 08:59

You are basically still a child at 22.

Once you grow up you will learn how to handle your emotions without playing silly games (pushing them away) with people you feel affection for. This requires a reasonable amount of relationship experience for some people, so get back on the horse, stop over-thinking & just see how it goes.

Acting like an idiot to push away a women because you are scared of them leaving you is ultimately pointless, essentially you are manifesting the very conditions you subconsciously fear.