Need a believable "I hope the world record for xxxxx"!

squarepusher · 16 Jul 2015 at 11:38

you hold the longest mass masturbation marathon session

olivier renault · 16 Jul 2015 at 11:42

World record S&M+B orgy. Keeping to the theme, I like where this is going.

Hiijinx · 16 Jul 2015 at 11:56

Total amount of ex co-worker photos on your bedside table.

MikeTheNative · 16 Jul 2015 at 12:08

Certified biggest **** in the world?

Muz333 · 16 Jul 2015 at 12:15

For cooking 1 minute rice in 59 seconds?

Edit:
I've always wanted be asked in an interview what my biggest weaknesses and strengths are just so I could answer with this.

'My weakness is that I sometimes struggle to tell the difference between reality and fiction. My strength? Well, I'm Batman.'

Beerbaron · 16 Jul 2015 at 12:20

As a Liverpool fan you hold the record for longest time without mentioning their history.

FiremanSam · 16 Jul 2015 at 12:25

Muz333 said:
For cooking 1 minute rice in 59 seconds?

Edit:
I've always wanted be asked in an interview what my biggest weaknesses and strengths are just so I could answer with this.

'My weakness is that I sometimes struggle to tell the difference between reality and fiction. My strength? Well, I'm Batman.'

That's genius.

Liquidfox · 16 Jul 2015 at 12:26

If you've got a fairly common name hopefully someone already has a record that you could poach?

gradyhawks · 16 Jul 2015 at 12:59

UPDATE

UPDATE -

So... this took a turn for the strange. Sat down with the lady to have a chat, and she starts with interesting stuff about her.... turns out she actually worked for the Guinness World Record company. Out goes my well thought out triple world record holder.

Now I have dug an even bigger whole, in my "Brilliance" I announced that I was "El Chupanibre", an amateur Mexican wrestler. Apparently I did this before university for a few years and even managed to do a few "shows" as the pre-show for some low key boxing fights. I've managed to get my mate to back me up if I need to call him ... but could now do with some more help!

I now have to convince everyone in work that this is the case so I can be immortalised online as El Chupanibre.

StriderX · 16 Jul 2015 at 13:35

Oh my...Name change plox.

CrispyOtter · 16 Jul 2015 at 13:49

Futruama said:
Gather round children for the Legend of El Chupanibre
He creeps and crawls in the midnight hush,
Silent as a low flow toilet flush,
Watch your step, cause sooner or later,
He'll eat you whole, and half your alligator

Maverick2332 · 16 Jul 2015 at 14:34

gradyhawks said:
UPDATE -
in my "Brilliance" I announced that I was "El Chupanibre", an amateur Mexican wrestler. Apparently I did this before university for a few years and even managed to do a few "shows" as the pre-show for some low key boxing fights. I've managed to get my mate to back me up if I need to call him ... but could now do with some more help!

I now have to convince everyone in work that this is the case so I can be immortalised online as El Chupanibre.

10/10.

Redz · 16 Jul 2015 at 14:59

Just googled El Chupanibre

Steeps · 16 Jul 2015 at 15:13

Plot twist: interview lady's partner reads these forums and showed her this thread. She saw she wasn't going to get an honest interview, so introduced herself as a previous employee to GWR company to throw you off guard which you fell for.

skaif · 16 Jul 2015 at 15:20

Redz said:
Just googled El Chupanibre

Lol, i knew it sounded familiar!

Zenduri · 16 Jul 2015 at 21:35

Highest amount of unsolved murders, then grin at them evily