Family feud, what to do?

Burnsy2023 said:
Which if you know anything about dealing with people is unlikely to work.

You need to get your mom and aunt to want to work things out. If you think this is bad, wait until there is an inheritance.
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It could work, it depends on the objectives and how the conversation is handled. shouting down the phone is not going to solve it.

Simply making her aware that you know about the picture stealing and are not happy about it, might be sufficient enough to prevent it in future. I wouldn't try and solve the differences between the sisters. Just confront her about the pictures and about messing with the gran at such an old age.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
Which if you know anything about dealing with people is unlikely to work.

You need to get your mom and aunt to want to work things out. If you think this is bad, wait until there is an inheritance.
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This. Once money gets involved then the battles can go on for generations,.
 
Explain to her she won't be getting any money when she pops her clogs anyway as you've already drained her bank account of every last penny.
 
Explain to the mother what is happening and get her to state there is no inheritance. Then she will see who really cares about her. I would visit her everyday/as much as possible tbh. I don't really care about inheritance but visiting as much as possible would be appreciated by her I'm sure.
 
Speak to your aunt and tell forget the feud between your mother and her for and do whats best for your grandmother.
 
I would make it about you and not you mum. Call your Auntie and ask her why the pictures of you have been removed from Grandmas as this has really upset you.

Then just leave it to her to explain....

Unless she is utterly heartless I think this will be awkward enough to reverse the behaviour.
 
MaxP779 said:
Ill try not to make this a long rambling story but basically my gran is 87 and shes in sheltered housing. Shes been forgetting things more and more the past few years. I can see her getting weaker every time I visit and it really upset me the last time I saw her because I remember how vibrant and lively she used to be :( Anyway my mom and my aunt don't speak to each other anymore, but what my aunt has been doing is taking down all the pictures of me my mom and my dad etc from my grans flat and putting up only pictures of her and her daughter instead. She also scored out all our birthdays on my grans calendar and anything we give to my gran she takes it away because it came from us...

What should we do? How do we deal with petty BS like this? It hurts knowing this could be my grans last year on this earth and she has no pictures of one half of her family around her.
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Diabolical. The woman is definitively a psycho-bitch. People perform psychological manipulation all the time, but an 87 year old who's already forgetting things??? Good god you need to protect your gran with some sort of restraining order against your aunt.
 
Same happened with my gran thanks to my late uncle's money grabbing wife.

By the time my gran died, her bank accounts were emptied and anything of value had mysteriously left her council flat.

My late father went ballistic and that was the last time my side of the family had anything to do with my uncle's side.

Money + family = trouble.
 
That's why I am glad my parents are 'poor', both bro and I are never expecting any inheritance and we'll just care for mum and dad equally, because we love them as they did when we were nothing but a whiny milk drinker.

My mum however have lost a few contact with her sisters because of stupid inheritance and missing money, she thinks because we're living in the UK, we are living the high life (compared to their life in Singapore).

Bunch of toads in a well.
 
If your nan is losing her memory somewhat and other such things then it's unlikely that she would be allowed to change her will. Especially without both family members in agreement to it.
But I would ask for some legal advice in this area and ensure that you can get any late alterations removed due to in ability to make key decisions.
 
What is it with sisters?

My missus has fallen out with her sister big time over her nieces wedding, but it's the latest in a series of, well, just being treated like garbage her (my mrs) entire life, and her sister is, of course, the 'favourite' with the in-laws.

Personally it wouldn't bother me if we never saw them again but we have an anniversary meal to go to in December and they'll be there.
 
arknor said:
Indeed...

My mum looked after her mum when she was in her final years, my aunty didn't give a crap about her own mum from what I gather, yet she was the favourite

yet my aunty got all the inheritance instead of my mum....

My mum is kinda bitter about it but still friends with her sister
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This is something I don't understand - even if I'd fallen out with family if I inherited the whole lot I'd still split it evenly with my brothers and sisters short of truly exceptional circumstances.
 
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