Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?

As person C, is it okay to sleep with person A?

  • Hell yes!

    Votes: 81 17.6%

  • No, it's wrong.

    Votes: 291 63.4%

  • Pancake.

    Votes: 87 19.0%
  • Total voters
    459
Mynight said:
Sending a sms breakup just prior to the act.
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but not her deciding that it is over and waiting till the next day to tell the boyfriend is cheating?

I mean she's broken up anyway from her perspective she just hasn't told him yet...

what if the SMS isn't read until the next day so either way he doesn't know till then?
 
dowie said:
people can and do break up by text but that aside if A decides she isn't in a relationship then she isn't in a relationship anymore... that is her personal choice - B can be told it is over at the earliest opportunity
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And until that conversation has happened and B is fully aware they are no longer in a relationship, the relationship between A and B is still effectively active.

Even if A dumped B after jumping into bed with C, A still cheated on B as B was not aware. C therefore was party to that.
 
That would simply be cheating on someone then breaking up with them.

There's no grey here no matter how hard you try.

dowie said:
but not her deciding that it is over and waiting till the next day to tell the boyfriend is cheating?

I mean she's broken up regardless from her perspective she just hasn't told him yet...

what if the SMS isn't read until the next day so either way he doesn't know till then?
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Doesn't matter if it's not read for a while the message has been communicated.

Regardless id still be dubious of such a girl.
 
Nix said:
And until that conversation has happened and B is fully aware they are no longer in a relationship, the relationship between A and B is still effectively active.

Even if A dumped B after jumping into bed with C, A still cheated on B as B was not aware. C therefore was party to that.
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OK supposing A is cold and just sends a text, doesn't want a convo... are you saying the relationship is only officially over when that text is read by B ergo B is aware?

Edit- Mynight is saying it is over when A sends the communication which could still lead to a situation where the SMS isn't read yet and B is not aware.

Personally I think it is over as soon as either A or B decides it is over and it is up to them to tell the other party at the earliest opportunity

and regardless of what point you class it as 'cheating' the main question was is it OK... and in that scenario where there isn't a long term commitment and A decides she'd rather be with C then yes, I don't see the big deal, people split up and whether B gets informed immediately prior or immediately after matters very little, the relationship is over regardless of any technicalities as to when it supposedly ended.
 
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Yeah just saw me and Nix were in agreement until that point :D. You've created a divide dowie :p.

Whilst I think Nix is correct I could expand to include as long as the text was sent at a reasonable time with the expectation they'd receive it then it's been communicated.

However were getting into the realms of the hypotheticals here. I'm about as amoral as they come yet even I wouldn't sleep with another until I know the message has been received. Such a rep would not improve dating prospects.
 
I've found that most people cheat and the ones that don't are either with someone else just as loyal which is lovely, but more often than not, are being cheated on and are too innocent to expect anything.
 
dowie said:
OK supposing A is cold and just sends a text, doesn't want a convo... are you saying the relationship is only officially over when that text is read by B ergo B is aware?

Edit- Mynight is saying it is over when A sends the communication which could still lead to a situation where the SMS isn't read yet and B is not aware.

Personally I think it is over as soon as either A or B decides it is over and it is up to them to tell the other party at the earliest opportunity
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Yes. Until B is without doubt that the relationship is over, the relationship contract between A and B is still in effect.

For example, A could message B and jump into bed with C but B hasn't read the message. Although A would have initially absolved themselves of guilt, B isn't aware that the relationship is over yet, therefore A still has obligations to B.

Besides, what sort of person would dump someone as they're climbing into bed with someone else? They don't sound like anyone who deserves to be in a relationship to me.

Mynight said:
Yeah just saw me and Nix were in agreement until that point :D. You've created a divide dowie :p.

Whilst I think Nix is correct I could expand to include as long as the text was sent at a reasonable time with the expectation they'd receive it then it's been communicated.

However were getting into the realms of the hypotheticals here. I'm about as amoral as they come yet even I wouldn't sleep with another until I know the message has been received. Such a rep would not improve dating prospects.
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I'd say in terms of breakups, you should at least have a buffer of a day or two. Ten minutes certainly isn't fair!
 
Nix said:
I'd say in terms of breakups, you should at least have a buffer of a day or two. Ten minutes certainly isn't fair!
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Well depends on who breaks up with whom. My ex broke up with me and I'd moved on come nightfall(healthy relationship as I'm sure you guessed :D). However if I had broken up with them I would at least have waited a few days before moving on.
 
Mynight said:
Well depends on who breaks up with whom. My ex broke up with me and I'd moved on come nightfall(healthy relationship as I'm sure you guessed :D).
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True but there's still a huge difference between waiting ten minutes, a few days, weeks or months. And of course, this is all relative to what kind of relationship it was and how difficult the breakup itself was!

That said, if A moved on with C -- rebounds aside -- a few days after breaking up with B, although this wouldn't be cheating it would imply that there was at least some emotional betrayal prior to the breakup.
 
Nix said:
True but there's still a huge difference between waiting ten minutes, a few days, weeks or months. And of course, this is all relative to what kind of relationship it was and how difficult the breakup itself was!
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Quite. I can't argue that.

At the end of the day if you're not happy move on but at least pay enough respect to the current partner to break it off beforehand.
 
Nix said:
Besides, what sort of person would dump someone as they're climbing into bed with someone else? They don't sound like anyone who deserves to be in a relationship to me.
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it is just a hypothetical to clarify when you considered the relationship to be over

bottom line for me is that A wants to be with C and no longer with B, the fact that B is yet to be told is an irrelevant technicality so long as B is going to be told at the earliest opportunity

IMO the relationship is over when either party decides it is
 
dowie said:
it is just a hypothetical to clarify when you considered the relationship to be over

bottom line for me is that A wants to be with C and no longer with B, the fact that B is yet to be told is an irrelevant technicality so long as B is going to be told at the earliest opportunity

IMO the relationship is over when either party decides it is
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For me, the relationship is over when both individuals in that relationship are aware that it's over.
 
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