Marriage Registrar

Danger Phoenix · 14 Jan 2016 at 16:55

Looking to book my wedding for next year and one of the prospective venues mentioned that the local registrar (Hertfordshire) doesn't allow the religios ceremony (Hindu) to occur before the civil.

I spoke to Herts Registrars and they claimed that it was UK law and that they would not do any registries where the religious ceremony had taken place prior.

Is that right? I've been looking up about this and all I could find is that you aren't allowed religious symbols in the room etc, but nothing about the order they need to be done in. Can a registrar even impose such conditions if it isn't the law?

platypus · 14 Jan 2016 at 17:03

A religious wedding can take place in at a church, chapel or other registered religious building.

If where you want to get married is not registered, then a religious blessing can take place after a civil ceremony has taken place.

bitslice · 14 Jan 2016 at 17:08

Don't tell them that you've had the ceremony first?

Danger Phoenix · 14 Jan 2016 at 19:20

We plan to have the religious in the morning, civil in the afternoon and reception in the evening. Herts registrars have said that the civil has to happen first and claim it's UK law.

Feef · 14 Jan 2016 at 19:24

Surely this is just a case of not telling them any more than they need to know? If they're actually going to be difficult about it, just book the civil ceremony and say no more, why should they need to know what happened beforehand?

Danger Phoenix · 14 Jan 2016 at 19:28

Feef said:
Surely this is just a case of not telling them any more than they need to know? If they're actually going to be difficult about it, just book the civil ceremony and say no more, why should they need to know what happened beforehand?

I was thinking that but what if the venue or someone told them? They could refuse on the day and it would ruin everything. It's not really a risk I'm prepared to take.

Amp34 · 14 Jan 2016 at 19:29

Alternatively, how about doing the civil ceremony the day before at the registry office with just a couple of witnesses and then do the religious ceremony and "real" wedding the next day?

Not ideal but would get round the problem and I'm sure the legal part of it isn't going to be particularly interesting to guests if they have a proper "wedding" afterwards.

This is actually what a couple of family members did recently.

Dis86 · 14 Jan 2016 at 19:29

Then you have your answer.

Danger Phoenix · 14 Jan 2016 at 20:12

Amp34 said:
Alternatively, how about doing the civil ceremony the day before at the registry office with just a couple of witnesses and then do the religious ceremony and "real" wedding the next day?

Not ideal but would get round the problem and I'm sure the legal part of it isn't going to be particularly interesting to guests if they have a proper "wedding" afterwards.

This is actually what a couple of family members did recently.

We want everything on the same day as my parents believe in the religious being the main one whereas my fiancée and I believe the registry to be the key event.

Dis86 said:
Then you have your answer.

Obviously I have now ruled out any venue in Herts as an option, but I was just curious whether what they said was actually the case. No other venue we have enquired with have mentioned such a thing and if it is a UK wide thing then we may need to reconsider our itinerary for the day.

peige · 14 Jan 2016 at 20:26

Thinking about it all the ones I've heard have been civil ceremony first (often in the morning) then the "different" one second one in the afternoon / evening. The one I know of was Pagan and they did it in the afternoon.
Seems odd that it has to be that way but you'd have to take the word of the registrar.

cheesyboy · 14 Jan 2016 at 22:22

If the religious one isn't a legal marriage, and it isn't if you're also doing a civil ceremony, then why does it matter if you do it first?

To be honest, I'm speaking from a position of ignorance here; I don't understand why there would be a civil ceremony at all - why not just do a legal religious one, if you're doing that bit anyway?

Danger Phoenix · 14 Jan 2016 at 22:25

cheesyboy said:
If the religious one isn't a legal marriage, and it isn't if you're also doing a civil ceremony, then why does it matter if you do it first?

To be honest, I'm speaking from a position of ignorance here; I don't understand why there would be a civil ceremony at all - why not just do a legal religious one, if you're doing that bit anyway?

I'm not sure why it matters, and can find nothing online about it, but Herts registrars seem to think it is UK law and therefore do not allow it. I am more curious about why they think this is the case.

As far as I know there is no legally recognised Hindu ceremony which would result in my fiancée and I being married in the UK.

cheesyboy · 14 Jan 2016 at 22:26

Danger Phoenix said:
As far as I know there is no legally recognised Hindu ceremony which would result in my fiancée and I being married in the UK.

I had no idea this was the case. Is there a reason for that?

Russinating · 14 Jan 2016 at 22:27

I work in weddings and that's incorrect but it may be up to that local authority. I did a wedding in London and a couple had a Chinese ceremony before retiring for 20 minutes, she got changed out of her Chinese gown into a white dress and they then had the legal civil ceremony afterwards.

Pudney · 14 Jan 2016 at 23:49

Who'd think it'd be this confusing!

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/getting-married/#h-how-to-marry

A religious ceremony which does not comply with the conditions stated above and which takes place before a civil wedding is not a valid marriage under United Kingdom law and the couple’s status will be that of cohabitees.

Nix · 14 Jan 2016 at 23:51

You're getting married?

Weeeeeey!

Pudney · 14 Jan 2016 at 23:58

I think it comes from here:

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo6/12-13-14/76/section/46

If the parties to a marriage [F1solemnized in the office of a superintendent registrar][F1solemnised in the presence of a superintendent registrar] desire to add the religious ceremony ordained or used by the church or persuasion of which they are members, they may present themselves, after giving notice of their intention so to do, to the clergyman or minister of the church or persuasion of which they are members, and the clergyman or minister, upon the production of a certificate of their marriage before the superintendent registrar and upon the payment of the customary fees (if any), may, if he sees fit, read or celebrate in the church or chapel of which he is the regular minister the marriage service of the church or persuasion to which be belongs or nominate some other minister to do so.

Woden · 15 Jan 2016 at 00:12

Danger Phoenix said:
I'm not sure why it matters, and can find nothing online about it, but Herts registrars seem to think it is UK law and therefore do not allow it. I am more curious about why they think this is the case.

As far as I know there is no legally recognised Hindu ceremony which would result in my fiancée and I being married in the UK.

I would be asking them which law forbids it. OK a Hindu ceremony may not result in you being legally married, but it's a religious ceremony, not like they can ban it.

Dis86 · 15 Jan 2016 at 08:52

Woden said:
I would be asking them which law forbids it. OK a Hindu ceremony may not result in you being legally married, but it's a religious ceremony, not like they can ban it.

The one quoted in the post above yours. They're not trying to ban any religious ceremony.

platypus · 15 Jan 2016 at 09:00

platypus said:
A religious wedding can take place in at a church, chapel or other registered religious building.

If where you want to get married is not registered, then a religious blessing can take place after a civil ceremony has taken place.

Danger Phoenix said:
We plan to have the religious in the morning, civil in the afternoon and reception in the evening. Herts registrars have said that the civil has to happen first and claim it's UK law.

Couldn't really have put it any simpler

. You can't do it that way round.

It's even handily on the government website: https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnerships/what-you-need-to-do. Note the order of steps.