Any family law boffins about?

Vidar

Vidar

Vidar

Soldato
Joined
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I am litteraly at the end of my rope in concerns to the ex (childrens mother) in regards to the Child arrangements order we currently have and am firstly looking to vent but also get the remarkable advice from GD.

The regular arrangements for my seeing the children are working well, I see them every weekend when I'm supposed to but this is where things stop being simple and become extremely stressful.

During holidays our arrangements are to be agreed between the two of us, so far since August last year every time the kids have been off of school the ex and I have made agreements only for her to change her mind and fight me when it suits her. At Christmas she decided she wasn't going to have them back for a week after we'd agreed for them to be back on a certain date and time which prevented me from spending time with a very ill family member and now this week she claims when she said Sunday she means Monday and that I will just have to take the kids to school and even sent them out during half term in their uniforms to make the point. Had we agreed to that when I'd offered I'd have been happy too but with her refusal to that in the first place (I had offered) I've now booked on for work on Sunday night 8pm - 3am which I can't cancel without the risk of losing more work.

It is nothing but stress when the other party feels they can alter agreements to do with children at will and you're just supposed to deal with it. On top of this both my children have been ill in recent weeks, My daughter down with Scarlet fever which was diagnosed after the ex had sent her out to me visibly ill and I'd taken her to a walk in centre, from taking the children home I have not been informed of either of their health, just sent them during agreed hours and expected to deal with symptoms.

She even forced me into a position where I had to keep both children off school as she refused to take our daughter back because working in KFC is more important than her needing to stay off, and with a journey that takes an hour and twenty minutes each way I wasn't prepared to do two round trips with my sick daughter in tow.

Sorry I know I've waffled, I'm angry and tired but my question is do I have grounds to apply for an enforcement order? When everything but regular contact has failed?
 
You don't need to but a solicitor would be helpful although you can approach your local courts yourself. Essentially what you're after is a court order for shared care of your children. This would be a binding legal agreement which would dictate the days/times each of you would have the children and the appropriate notice period for any changes. If you have tried everything directly and it is not working for you this is the only option.
 
My advice would be to keep a diary of all of these instances. Ultimately, it may come down to whether you apply to vary the Child Arrangments Order so that they spend less time with her and make their main base with you. Your rationale (assuming you are able to take on this responsibility/time commitment) would be the lack of engagement/constant thwarting of court ordered arrangements which isn't best for them.

If, for whatever reason, the children making their main base with you is not feasible, then the most you may be able to do is to take a firm line with her and drop them off come what may (e.g make it clear that you'll drop them off and she needs to have arranged childcare if she's not there).

As far as strict legal enforcement is concerned, the court does have the power to order Contact Activity Directions but these are aimed at promoting contact - i.e. ensuring the parent supports the time with the other parent and are unlikely to assist.

Hope this helps. Do take some advice as obviously this is just a snapshot of your situation and so any advice on here can only be based on a snapshot.
 
Vidar said:
I am litteraly at the end of my rope in concerns to the ex (childrens mother) in regards to the Child arrangements order we currently have and am firstly looking to vent but also get the remarkable advice from GD.

The regular arrangements for my seeing the children are working well, I see them every weekend when I'm supposed to but this is where things stop being simple and become extremely stressful.

During holidays our arrangements are to be agreed between the two of us, so far since August last year every time the kids have been off of school the ex and I have made agreements only for her to change her mind and fight me when it suits her. At Christmas she decided she wasn't going to have them back for a week after we'd agreed for them to be back on a certain date and time which prevented me from spending time with a very ill family member and now this week she claims when she said Sunday she means Monday and that I will just have to take the kids to school and even sent them out during half term in their uniforms to make the point. Had we agreed to that when I'd offered I'd have been happy too but with her refusal to that in the first place (I had offered) I've now booked on for work on Sunday night 8pm - 3am which I can't cancel without the risk of losing more work.

It is nothing but stress when the other party feels they can alter agreements to do with children at will and you're just supposed to deal with it. On top of this both my children have been ill in recent weeks, My daughter down with Scarlet fever which was diagnosed after the ex had sent her out to me visibly ill and I'd taken her to a walk in centre, from taking the children home I have not been informed of either of their health, just sent them during agreed hours and expected to deal with symptoms.

She even forced me into a position where I had to keep both children off school as she refused to take our daughter back because working in KFC is more important than her needing to stay off, and with a journey that takes an hour and twenty minutes each way I wasn't prepared to do two round trips with my sick daughter in tow.

Sorry I know I've waffled, I'm angry and tired but my question is do I have grounds to apply for an enforcement order? When everything but regular contact has failed?
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I think you need to do two things; firstly have an order made regarding the holidays and secondly have the enforcement order attached to that. Until you have the holidays clearly defined it is always going to be a mare. Go for something simple; alternating is the best way. You need to use the documented history of non-compliance to convince the Judge that the Enforcement order is warranted.

Did you represent yourself during proceedings or use a McKenzie Friend?
 
When I started trying to understand the way that the Family Court system worked, I found this organisation useful: https://fnf.org.uk/

Check it out.

There was also a brilliant forum I used and I am racking my brains to remember what it was called. Loads of McKenzie Friends used it, so the advice was top notch. I'll post it if I find the link.
 
I would suggest if it is becoming complicated that you seek legal advice and get a contact order drawn up. You can attend with your ex if it is possible and come to agreements on when you or your ex has the kids.
 
Thanks for the advice guys, I already have a child arrangements (contact) order that's been in effect since August in its latest incarnation. I've had an order for the past 4 years in one form or another and like I say regular contact is working well, its everything else thats the problem and causing stress.

Having an agreement in place during school holidays only to have it changed when I've already got the kids is infuriating and it keeps happening, especially as I have to plan shifts around when I've got my kids and in this instance I've already agreed to work Sunday after she initially refused me taking the kids to school. I can never be sure what's going on during holidays.

That coupled with the deliberate lack of communication from her regarding the kids health etc when they're ill and I am infuriated.

Looks like I'm going back to court *sighs*
 
Have you got records of the changes in schedules and the impacts to your life ?

These additional nights / days and loss of income to you will have an impact on how much you should actually pay in child maintenance - it will reduce her income if you can prove a pattern to which I'm sure she'll take action.
 
George Hincapie said:
Don't be scared or reluctant to. The Court exists for a reason, so use it and get the arrangements in place you need for a life that works for you all.

All the best.
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A total of 26 court dates in the past 4 years to go over the same things again and again, is making me pessemistic but it is my only recourse to resolve issues as she refuses to talk like adult.

The Geezer said:
Have you got records of the changes in schedules and the impacts to your life ?

These additional nights / days and loss of income to you will have an impact on how much you should actually pay in child maintenance - it will reduce her income if you can prove a pattern to which I'm sure she'll take action.
Click to expand...


Yes everything is recorded in text message, I'm just sick to bloody death of it all.
 
I can't help you, but thread's like this are partly why i sometimes feel like it's easier to for me and my o/h to stay together and put up with the issues that brings, than go through all of this.
 
Got the first court hearing with my ex next Wednesday after she failed to stick to arrangements we made at mediation, had my CAFCAS interview but she's refused to do her 3 to which they aren't happy about.

Representing myself, I've got all my evidence and backup stuff in a nice organised folder so hoping for a nice straight forward in and out.

Not had any time with the kids since Christmas due to her trying to blackmail me, which is what prompted the court application, everything up to that point was fairly rosy.
 
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