Coping with a Smoking teenager in a non smoking house !

MINUS12

MINUS12

MINUS12

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Feeling very frustrated at the moment with unresponsive rebellious 16 and half yr old son who chain smokes at his friends house everyday and smokes the occasional weed and has come home drunk a few times and vomited in the bedroom and then comes home and pollutes the air with carcinogenic compounds , even my 6 yr old daughter stinks of cigarette smoke as she shares the bedroom and we have repeatly expressed our feelings about smoking and he still refuses to comply ! So today I told him to put all his clothes and rucksack etc in a black bag and put then in our outside bathroom! I obviously can't stop him smoking as he just won't comply :confused:

It's very frustrating when your child doesn't respect your authority and doesn't consider your feelings , I don't think I'm in the wrong :rolleyes: I guess a few of you have had the same issues with your children ..question is how would you deal with it :confused:
 
There is likely something deeper going on here on a psychological level if no one else in the house smokes. It may be peer pressure. It may be rebellion, but if you don't figure out where its coming from its likely to just result in other risky behavior. And as bad as smoking is... teen pregnancy or AIDS is a whole lot worse.

Also cut of any allowance/money you give him all together. Don't give him anything. Give him extra chores to do etc

And for the love of god get him out of your daughters bedroom! tell him he has to sleep somewhere else as you dont want him poisoning his sister.
 
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Put a tent up in the garden or a camp bed in the lounge. Basically make life less pleasant .
 
He doesn't respect your authority because he thinks he's more alpha than you, you need to show him whoes the daddy!

MatsyLR said:
And as bad as smoking is... teen pregnancy or AIDS is a whole lot worse.
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What, teenage pregnancy is on the same level as having AIDS now... I know which situation I would much prefer!
 
MINUS12 said:
So today I told him to put all his clothes and rucksack etc in a black bag and put then in our outside bathroom! I obviously can't stop him smoking as he just won't comply :confused:
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I was hoping at this point you were going to tell him to find somewhere else to stay. That may sound harsh but that might be the sort of reality check he needs. Maybe it's the way I was brought up, but I would concerned about the apparent use of drugs too?

Does sound like he needs a right good slap though.
 
Not an expert but while it doesn't smell nice I wouldn't have thought the odour alone coming off his clothes/person had any significant 3rd party health implications?
 
Rroff said:
Not an expert but while it doesn't smell nice I wouldn't have thought the odour alone coming off his clothes/person had any significant 3rd party health implications?
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I thought that as well but a quick google brings up results of "third hand smoke". Apparantly it's a thing now.
 
Swift crack round the head is needed.

Though these days it seems you can't do this without being branded some sort of abusive parent.
 
Rroff said:
Not an expert but while it doesn't smell nice I wouldn't have thought the odour alone coming off his clothes/person had any significant 3rd party health implications?
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I'd have to agree. Although as a non-smoker, when someone who smokes sits next to you after smoking it can sometimes be one of the most disgusting smells going!
 
Dave M said:
Took a moment to pick up on that, seems unlikely tbh.
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The magic number is 10. After that, children of different sexes should really have separate rooms.

This is used by most housing associations to assess housing requirements, and is also used during divorce proceedings.
 
I sympathise with you, i had the same problem with my youngest son who started smoking at 18. He would smoke in his bedroom hanging out of the window thinking we wouldn't know but the smoke smell got into everything. We came to an agreement with him that we would stop nagging him as long as he didn't smoke in the house. We also made him put his clothes, that needed washing, in a bag so the smell was contained.

The main thing we learnt was not to try and force our will onto him, all it did was make him more determined to keep smoking. Unfortunately 6 years on he still smokes although he has tried to give up.
 
Thanks for you replies .. Currently we are not in a financial situation to be able to afford to rent a 3 bedroom house , so unfortunately yes they share a bedroom .. But we have now moved our daughter into our bedroom ..
 
MINUS12 said:
Feeling very frustrated at the moment with unresponsive rebellious 16 and half yr old son who chain smokes at his friends house everyday and smokes the occasional weed and has come home drunk a few times and vomited in the bedroom and then comes home and pollutes the air with carcinogenic compounds , even my 6 yr old daughter stinks of cigarette smoke as she shares the bedroom and we have repeatly expressed our feelings about smoking and he still refuses to comply ! So today I told him to put all his clothes and rucksack etc in a black bag and put then in our outside bathroom! I obviously can't stop him smoking as he just won't comply :confused:

It's very frustrating when your child doesn't respect your authority and doesn't consider your feelings , I don't think I'm in the wrong :rolleyes: I guess a few of you have had the same issues with your children ..question is how would you deal with it :confused:
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Your 16 year old son and 6 year old daughter share a bedroom? :confused:

Edit - just been answered - wow
 
Pez said:
The magic number is 10. After that, children of different sexes should really have separate rooms.

This is used by most housing associations to assess housing requirements, and is also used during divorce proceedings.
Click to expand...

My parents worked to about that policy (I've several brothers and sisters) no one over about 10 shared with anyone of the opposite sex.

EDIT: I can sympathise that unfortunately life is less than ideal especially with house prices today but even something relatively small like sharing a bedroom as they get older can impact on a child's behaviour - some are fine others struggle without their access to some degree of privacy.
 
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Slam62 said:
Put a tent up in the garden .
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This. I wouldn't even let him in the house if he's going to come back stinking of smoke or smoking in the house!

Edit: better idea. 6 y/o gets her own room, he shares with you. At 16, what's about the only thing less cool than sharing a bedroom with your 6 year old sister? That's right, sharing one with mummy and daddy ;)
 
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