The following are minor irritations in my daily driving life. These are presented with mild good humour and as generic as possible, so if anyone has input please keep it good natured.
1. People who lean over massively in their seats when turning a corner. That 1 litre econobox can only pull 0.0000001 lateral g before sliding off the road, but the driver is leaning at a 45 degree angle into the corner, neck muscles straining to fight against mavity.
2. Sitting at the back of a rush hour traffic jam for 45 minutes before an RDS announcement comes on to tell me what it's all about.
3. Local radio stations synching their adverts to foil my channel hopping.
4. Drivers turning to face their passengers when they talk. It's like they're sitting next to their elderly aunt on the sofa and feel that they HAVE to turn their head to stare DIRECTLY at them when talking. Watch the road you plonker!
5. Ridiculously tall and narrow vehicles. Old shaped Suzuki Altos, Vauxhall Agilas, Rascal vans etc. Balancing precariously on their pram wheels as they pull off a slip road in front of me at a steady 45mph. Six times taller than they are wide. Just buy a better proportioned car next time please!
6. Plastic bags blowing in the road. There it is 200 yards ahead. Car after car drives over it successfully. Despite your best efforts it vanishes under your car. Perhaps it's blown out the other side? Nope! Fourteen miles of rustling and fwipping noises ahoy until you can get home and forcibly tear a stinking, dirty plastic bag from where it's firmly wrapped itself under your radiator.
7. Thirty seconds off the slip road onto the dual carriageway and the phone in my pocket starts buzzing. I can't answer it, nor even really look at the screen. So it's another 40 slightly frustrating minutes of driving until I get home before I can find out who it was. And of course they don't leave a message or answer my call back. Or it's a withheld number.
8. Bird poo on the drivers door handle. Big, fat, green and covering both outer and inner parts of the handle. I avoid bird poos nowadays by simply never washing my car and they never seem to target me.
9. Auto wipers. Beautiful in theory, but in practice they flap away like a madman in light rain, whilst activating slightly less often than I want in heavy rain. And because they are so amazing, the car's engineers don't allow a simple 'intermittent' function anymore.
10. Sunlight shining at an angle through the gap between driver and passenger sun visors. Straight into my eyes.
1. People who lean over massively in their seats when turning a corner. That 1 litre econobox can only pull 0.0000001 lateral g before sliding off the road, but the driver is leaning at a 45 degree angle into the corner, neck muscles straining to fight against mavity.
2. Sitting at the back of a rush hour traffic jam for 45 minutes before an RDS announcement comes on to tell me what it's all about.
3. Local radio stations synching their adverts to foil my channel hopping.
4. Drivers turning to face their passengers when they talk. It's like they're sitting next to their elderly aunt on the sofa and feel that they HAVE to turn their head to stare DIRECTLY at them when talking. Watch the road you plonker!
5. Ridiculously tall and narrow vehicles. Old shaped Suzuki Altos, Vauxhall Agilas, Rascal vans etc. Balancing precariously on their pram wheels as they pull off a slip road in front of me at a steady 45mph. Six times taller than they are wide. Just buy a better proportioned car next time please!
6. Plastic bags blowing in the road. There it is 200 yards ahead. Car after car drives over it successfully. Despite your best efforts it vanishes under your car. Perhaps it's blown out the other side? Nope! Fourteen miles of rustling and fwipping noises ahoy until you can get home and forcibly tear a stinking, dirty plastic bag from where it's firmly wrapped itself under your radiator.
7. Thirty seconds off the slip road onto the dual carriageway and the phone in my pocket starts buzzing. I can't answer it, nor even really look at the screen. So it's another 40 slightly frustrating minutes of driving until I get home before I can find out who it was. And of course they don't leave a message or answer my call back. Or it's a withheld number.
8. Bird poo on the drivers door handle. Big, fat, green and covering both outer and inner parts of the handle. I avoid bird poos nowadays by simply never washing my car and they never seem to target me.
9. Auto wipers. Beautiful in theory, but in practice they flap away like a madman in light rain, whilst activating slightly less often than I want in heavy rain. And because they are so amazing, the car's engineers don't allow a simple 'intermittent' function anymore.
10. Sunlight shining at an angle through the gap between driver and passenger sun visors. Straight into my eyes.
