Marrying cousins in the Pakistani community
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Caporegime
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This also isn't just a Pakistani thing but more of to do with their religion Islam and a muslim thing.
For example a mate of mine from school his parents were both from Iraq and married and were cousins. He also ended up marrying and importing his cousin from Iraq. He thought it was the done thing and had no issues flirting with his cousin as a teenager.
Had a pakistani mate whilst we were both early twenties turn around and tell me one night that his cousin told them they need to stop "intercourse" with each other. It was a casual thing as potentially they could end up marrying their other cousins in future.
For example a mate of mine from school his parents were both from Iraq and married and were cousins. He also ended up marrying and importing his cousin from Iraq. He thought it was the done thing and had no issues flirting with his cousin as a teenager.
Had a pakistani mate whilst we were both early twenties turn around and tell me one night that his cousin told them they need to stop "intercourse" with each other. It was a casual thing as potentially they could end up marrying their other cousins in future.
Soldato
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Lolwut, where in your examples did they have anything to do with religion. You could argue it is just as much a brown person thing or a 'being friend of you' thing with the two examples you gave.
It is a regional cultural differences thing as far as the social acceptance goes. Your first example points more to a method to gain a better quality of life.
It is a regional cultural differences thing as far as the social acceptance goes. Your first example points more to a method to gain a better quality of life.
What's surprising about that?
A lot of people know their future partners since childhood. I know of couples who have known each other since they were like 5.
Future personally identified partners perhaps, not forced.
As I think has been said, it's not illegal for first cousins here (although icky and very bad for the bloodlines), and used to be quite common in Europe/UK including in royalty for some of the same basic cultural reasons, namely stopping land/goods from being inherited outside the family, and for the commoners lack of ability to travel far.
I suspect that within a generation of two it will start to become a lot less common in the Pakistani and Indian communities as the level of general education and travel increases in much the same way that large/very large families are the norm in societies where you are mainly working on farms and have a high infant/child mortality rate, but after a generation or two of better survival and not needing a lot of hands to raise the crops.
I believe the average UK family size dropped an awful lot once we gained access to half decent health care, better education, and things like birth control.
JSsmoke, I suspect it's different legal definitions, from memory it varies in the US depending on which state you're in as to whether you can marry a first cousin for example, so what would be illegal in one might be fine in another.
I suspect that within a generation of two it will start to become a lot less common in the Pakistani and Indian communities as the level of general education and travel increases in much the same way that large/very large families are the norm in societies where you are mainly working on farms and have a high infant/child mortality rate, but after a generation or two of better survival and not needing a lot of hands to raise the crops.
I believe the average UK family size dropped an awful lot once we gained access to half decent health care, better education, and things like birth control.
JSsmoke, I suspect it's different legal definitions, from memory it varies in the US depending on which state you're in as to whether you can marry a first cousin for example, so what would be illegal in one might be fine in another.
Nice of you to apply factors willy nilly. Who said anything about being forced? It's arranged marriage. I've been offered arranged marriages, I simply ask them if they're having a laugh and it's the end of it. Arranged doesn't automatically mean forced.
The concern was that he was 11. To which the logical retort was that many people meet their future wife even younger than that. Not that he was being forced. Why bring an extraneous factor to back yourself up?
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Yes, but in the West it's typically their choice to make. It's not something foisted on them by a backwards family whose brains are still stuck in the Iron Age.
The obvious difference here being that you are not pre-empting the fact that your future partner is someone you knew from a young age.
Soldato
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Not all arranged marriages are forced or unwanted. I worked with a guy who was supposed to have an arranged marriage when he was a kid. He hated the idea and the family couldnt force him. Partied it up until 28 going out with different girls. In the end he told his parents he wanted to settle down. They arranged a few girls for him to meet including the younger sister of the original arrangement and funnily enough went back to India to marry the sister. They spend 6 months here and 6 months there now and seem like a very happy and normal couple.
Obviously not all arrangements are anywhere near that liberal but his experienced seemed more like fast track speed dating more than anything from an outsiders point of view.
Obviously not all arrangements are anywhere near that liberal but his experienced seemed more like fast track speed dating more than anything from an outsiders point of view.
Soldato
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It's a cultural thing surely? That's where change has to come from. It's needs to be frowned upon in their culture. Surely the Koran has a say on this also?
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Caporegime
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It's not allowed within Sikhism and Hinduism. Only the muslims do it in India. So yes it is more of a religion thing and it's not that high in India whereas in pakistan I imagine it's almost expected (required) to marry your cousin.
