Big News in Canada. Mint employee gets 30 months jail time for stealing gold.... in his bum

JBod · 2 Feb 2017 at 17:44

http://www.680news.com/2017/02/02/mint-employee-hid-stolen-gold-rectum-gets-30-months-behind-bars/

What an *******, I literally mean WHAT an ******* to fit gold pucks. Being Canada when they say pucks I am assuming the same size as ice hockey.

At trial, Doody noted there was no video of Lawrence stealing the gold, and there were no witnesses.

Would a witness come forward and admit seeing that?

Arsonist · 2 Feb 2017 at 17:48

Vaseline and latex gloves were later found in Lawrence’s locker

These items are regularly in my locker, but I don't use them for smuggling gold pucks

antijoke · 2 Feb 2017 at 17:52

Whole new meaning to bum nuggets.

G-MAN2004 · 2 Feb 2017 at 17:53

Amateur. Should have melted it down and formed his own bar first before selling.

SexyGreyFox · 2 Feb 2017 at 17:54

If he can fit gold pucks in his bottom he will be very popular in prison when he meets Big Al.

Diddums · 2 Feb 2017 at 18:03

SexyGreyFox said:
If he can fit gold pucks in his bottom he will be very popular in prison when he meets Big Al.

You laugh, but when I worked in Brixton prison a rather large man was put on the xray machine and they found four phones and chargers up his bum. No jokes.

Orionaut · 2 Feb 2017 at 18:12

I can see it now,

The Lavender Hill Mob-2017

Stuffing little models of the Eiffel Tower up where the Sun doesn't shine!

:eek:

fatiain · 2 Feb 2017 at 18:16

Diddums said:
You laugh, but when I worked in Brixton prison a rather large man was put on the xray machine and they found four phones and chargers up his bum. No jokes.

I spoke to a guy in custody, he said he didn't mind smuggling the phones into prison, it was the chargers that he didn't like!

Dis86 · 2 Feb 2017 at 18:16

Trained by Tefal?

Orionaut · 2 Feb 2017 at 18:20

fatiain said:
I spoke to a guy in custody, he said he didn't mind smuggling the phones into prison, it was the chargers that he didn't like!

I really, Really, do not want to think about that?? :eek:

On another note, Is it really the case that prisoners have random mains sockets available that they can plug contraband into?? :confused:

dowie · 2 Feb 2017 at 18:21

Dis86 said:
Trained by Tefal?

[FnG]magnolia · 2 Feb 2017 at 20:21

Diddums said:
You laugh, but when I worked in Brixton prison a rather large man was put on the xray machine and they found four phones and chargers up his bum. No jokes.

How does he answer those, then? That seems very impractical.

Hotwired · 2 Feb 2017 at 20:32

Interesting that an external tip off was needed.

Do they handle such large quantities of gold in a casual way that ~4kg (dubious maths) can walk out the door albeit in smaller pieces and not be detected on the books?

Doogles · 2 Feb 2017 at 20:36

TBF if you could get away with $150,000 by shoving something in the butt you'd do it right? I mean think about all that nice stuff I could buy! (A rubber ring to start with)

Mynight · 2 Feb 2017 at 21:50

Doogles said:
TBF if you could get away with $150,000 by shoving something in the butt you'd do it right? I mean think about all that nice stuff I could buy! (A rubber ring to start with)

So you'd consider becoming a rent boy then?

StriderX · 2 Feb 2017 at 22:00

I guess the mint is pretty anal about it's gold.

robfosters · 2 Feb 2017 at 22:24

Sounds like a bum rap to me.

SexyGreyFox · 2 Feb 2017 at 23:27

Mynight said:
So you'd consider becoming a rent boy then?

If I could get $150,000 a session then yes.
I'd take one for early retirement.

Combat squirrel · 2 Feb 2017 at 23:36

robfosters said:
Sounds like a bum rap to me.

lolololol

Derek W · 2 Feb 2017 at 23:38

Police eventually seized a gold puck that Lawrence had sold and found four more in his safety deposit box

If he smuggled them in his arse I really hope his safety deposit box isn't a euphemism for anywhere else :eek: