Lunch with the opposite sex

Soldato
Joined
11 Oct 2004
Posts
14,551
Location
London
A few months ago Mike Pence, vice president of America, said that he never eats alone with women other than his wife. I thought that was pretty weird and so did everyone I discussed it with. It felt like Pence's wife couldn't trust him to be around other women and what kind of relationship is that?

Fast forward to a couple of days ago and the NY Times published a poll of American attitudes on the subject:

eiME1gG.jpg


Around half of Americans agree with Mike Pence it seems. :eek:

Does anyone here think that it's inappropriate to have lunch with a member of the opposite sex? Is this a very American attitude or more widespread?
 
Around half of Americans agree with Mike Pence it seems. :eek:
you have to remember that the states is a backwards religious country that has more in common with the middle east than the west, so I'm not surprised.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, unless you are jealous or some backwards religious type.
 
I saw that and I can't figure out if the question was meant to be asked of people who were married. It's sort of implied but not clear.
 
I sat outside on break today with a female co worker and all the other men were grinding against things making noises. It's like I can't have a female friend :p
 
Its a somewhat controversial one in my social circles and even wider acquaintances generally its not encouraged if one of them is married or in a long term relationship, etc.
 
A few months ago Mike Pence, vice president of America, said that he never eats alone with women other than his wife. I thought that was pretty weird and so did everyone I discussed it with. It felt like Pence's wife couldn't trust him to be around other women and what kind of relationship is that?

Fast forward to a couple of days ago and the NY Times published a poll of American attitudes on the subject:

eiME1gG.jpg


Around half of Americans agree with Mike Pence it seems. :eek:

Does anyone here think that it's inappropriate to have lunch with a member of the opposite sex? Is this a very American attitude or more widespread?

I don't think it is inappropriate. The USA is a very puritanical and sexist society, in my experience working over there.
 
It's just a reflection on how insecure folk are, I'm tired but is that result showing women tend to think it's less appropriate?

It's the US but I don't think results would be much different over here, I'd say the drinking one would actually be worse due to our culture and younger drinking age.
 
It's just a reflection on how insecure folk are, I'm tired but is that result showing women tend to think it's less appropriate?

Women are held to a different standard. More often responsibility for nothing inappropriate happening is placed on women because it's often assumed that men will misbehave. I'm not making any judgements nor holding it up as a universal. However, I am saying that there is a social perception that it is the woman's role to say "no" and the man is allowed to behave more freely before being condemned. Again, not holding up any judgements which I emphasise because I want to avoid this going down the route of a pointless argument. But that is, imo, the explanation. Women have to be more concerned than men about appearing to be "*****" or flirting. Whereas with men it is more expected. So women generally are more sensitive to the appearance of doing something wrong than men.

I think most here will recognise that as a thing. To what degree it exists is a point of debate, though according to this poll it's measured at around 10%. ;)

It's the US but I don't think results would be much different over here, I'd say the drinking one would actually be worse due to our culture and younger drinking age.

I think they would be less pronounced in the UK than in the USA. I have worked in both places. Sexual identity is more fixed in US culture than here. And I think if you went to Germany it would be less pronounced again.



Anyway, I think the correct answer is: "I don't know, but definitely less inappropriate than breakfast."
 
you have to remember that the states is a backwards religious country that has more in common with the middle east than the west, so I'm not surprised.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, unless you are jealous or some backwards religious type.

Whilst you may be correct from a certain perspective, I don't think it's exclusively that. It's also to do with their sexist views, and somewhat strange perception of relationships, and two tier society. They're not backward because of whatever religious convictions, but because of general ignorance and insular behaviour.

Europe, is still a religiously diverse country, where men and women can fraternise with no raised eyebrows whatsoever. In fact I have as many, if not more, female friends than male friends, my wife has no issue with that and it's considered perfectly normal and frankly a non-issue. I had never thought about it until this thread came up!

They do have a what they think is a puritanical behavioural superiority, that was based on some sort of superior "Christian" value - but it's complete fallacy, and just an excuse. It's pure ignorance, and the fact that they have such silo'ed cultural diversity as well as a huge amount of insular behaviours.
 
I don't see why it is an issue, just something religious loons seem to worry about tbh...

This.

I'm the only male in an admin department. I have my lunch at my desk, thus eat with them. When there's a birthday, we'll go out for lunch (pub or café) and thus I have lunch with them. Sometimes an after-work drink/meal with them too.
 
Whilst you may be correct from a certain perspective, I don't think it's exclusively that. It's also to do with their sexist views, and somewhat strange perception of relationships, and two tier society. They're not backward because of whatever religious convictions, but because of general ignorance and insular behaviour.

Europe, is still a religiously diverse country, where men and women can fraternise with no raised eyebrows whatsoever. In fact I have as many, if not more, female friends than male friends, my wife has no issue with that and it's considered perfectly normal and frankly a non-issue. I had never thought about it until this thread came up!

They do have a what they think is a puritanical behavioural superiority, that was based on some sort of superior "Christian" value - but it's complete fallacy, and just an excuse. It's pure ignorance, and the fact that they have such silo'ed cultural diversity as well as a huge amount of insular behaviours.

don't you think a lot of it(general ignorance and insular behaviour etc) is based on their religion and they don't have the spread of religion and non-religion Europe has so cant really be compared.

Nearly all religions teach we are right you are wrong attitude along with do not mingle
 
Yup, it is massively influenced by the rather conservative religious beliefs found in the south and in middle America - the sorts of areas that voted in Trump.
 
Back
Top Bottom