How long is long enough not to mention 'it'?

OldBobby

OldBobby

OldBobby

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29 Oct 2014
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Staines, almost on-Thames
I've recently spent many hours trawling social media to try and trace some old colleagues from my 70's and 80's service days. And I have to say I've been surprised at how many are registered on some of the more popular sites. Of course, you find some who were good old mates and others who you recall with slightly less fondness. There are stories to be shared and many recollections ... some nice, some not so nice ... of the days working together.

So if you happened to stumble across an old colleague (not mate) on Facebook who wet himself on a formal occasion 38 years ago, would you mention it/remind him? How long is long enough to 'keep mum'? :D
 
Depends how you go about it, bringing it up right away would probably be a bit awkward but if you get talking and discussing past experiences then it would flow in nicely.
 
"Hi mate, I haven't seen or spoken to you in almost 40 years but I was stalking you on the internet and I just wondered if you remember that time you wet yourself at that dinner party?"
 
Ayahuasca said:
Depends how you go about it, bringing it up right away would probably be a bit awkward but if you get talking and discussing past experiences then it would flow in nicely.
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Indeed, I think you need to take the trickle down approach, perhaps drop a few hints but generally let the conversation flow naturally on Facebook/linked in... just try and hold it in - wait until you actually meet up in person then you can release: "Hey, good to see you again **** pants"
 
After 38 years I'd be put off with a old friend popping up and suddenly reminding me of parts of my history I'd forgot. Would put me right off trying to rekindle that friendship.
 
OldBobby said:
So if you happened to stumble across an old colleague (not mate) on Facebook who wet himself on a formal occasion 38 years ago, would you mention it/remind him? How long is long enough to 'keep mum'? :D
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all depends if you are a complete douchebag or not? ;)
 
Okay, probably best to maintain a dignified silence then, however tempting it might be!

We weren't really mates, just worked together and were on the same shift at the time it happened. To be honest, it was probably what he would have been most remembered for I reckon. We all have defining moments in our careers and that might well have been one of his. I just wondered whether he might almost expect it to be mentioned. Suppose it depends whether he looks back with a rueful smile, or blanked it from the memory banks?
 
It's one of the many reasons I don't go on them social medya sites, I have unsavoury and embarassing events in my past life, events that people who knew me would like nothing better to make public.
 
I would not mention it. What interest have I got in humiliating someone I knew 35 years ago.

Move on.
 
FortuitousFluke said:
No kind regards or best wishes? You absolute savage.
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Social media etiquette demands no such formalities :p

Plus, when you're effectively asking a stranger if they remember publicly humiliating themselves some 40 odd years ago, I don't think there's much point in faking pleasantries. You just get straight to the point.
 
Six6siX said:
Social media etiquette demands no such formalities :p

Plus, when you're effectively asking a stranger if they remember publicly humiliating themselves some 40 odd years ago, I don't think there's much point in faking pleasantries. You just get straight to the point.
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Ah, of course we're talking social media, in which case I suggest signing off with "jks bruv, lol, : pooemoji:"
 
That's a great way to alienate someone very quickly. A good friend of mine moved away and after many years he returned, a group of us met up and the first thing he said to one of the guys was to remind him of a very unfortunate event that he's spent a long time trying to erase from his history. Not everyone there was aware of it, it was a dreadful thing to do.

As far as I'm aware, everyone who was at that meet up now want absolutely nothing more to do with him.

/edit - For clarification, nothing to do with the person who raised the subject.
 
That's a good point.

I guess it's a way some might consider to make a connection using what little information you know/remember about the time gone by. Problem is, if you've not engaged with that person for that long, you don't know what's changed, how they've dealt with whatever happened and the context might end up being completely distasteful.

It'd be like telling a 'your mom' joke only to realise the person's mother had died.
 
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