Lunch with the opposite sex

Ayahuasca · 5 Jul 2017 at 11:28

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

It's not about needing their company, it's about being social, networking or simply just friendship and it's very important for development and keeping connections for the future particularly in business. You seem to think people are just having random dinner dates with women they don't know and also why would your wife always be at home?

dl8860 · 5 Jul 2017 at 11:48

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

But from my point of view, that's like me saying to you "why do you need to ever socialise with any other person on the earth, isn't your wife enough?" Surely you see how ridiculous that is? My friends who are girls are not substitutes for my wife when I spend time with them.

You said yourself you spend time with male friends, without your wife. The difference is, I don't see any distinction between my male and female friends. I don't view all females as potential mating partners, but it sounds like you do. Which is pretty weird to be honest.

ci_newman · 5 Jul 2017 at 11:59

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

I never eat lunch with my wife because we are both at work during lunch times. Why wouldn't I go for lunch with a female co-worker?

I have female friends that I have known as long as I have known my wife (several decades - we were all in the same class at school) and I occasionally meet some of them after work for a drink / catch-up or for lunch if we are both working in London on the same day. It is strictly platonic and for catching up with an old friend, there is nothing sexual about the meeting at all. If my wife were in London / nearby, she would come too.

Six6siX · 5 Jul 2017 at 12:05

@adam cool dude - what if the female friend was lesbian? Would that be acceptable?

Mr^B · 5 Jul 2017 at 12:28

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

It depends if you're a massive misogynist who views women only as potential sexual partners. Rather than treating them as human beings.

Why do you need more than one male friend? Surely ONE male friend is enough, why would you possibly want more than one?! Isn't it strange to leave your best mate behind and go with another mate for lunch?

In a thread littered with ridiculousness, that particular comment really does take the biscuit.

Mak3R · 5 Jul 2017 at 12:40

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

Is this for real?

balky12 · 5 Jul 2017 at 13:13

I find female friends awesome at helping me shop for my partner... or perhaps helping me understand things from a 'woman's' perspective in the rare occasion I am in the dog house.

But most importantly the female friends I lunch/ drink/ dine with are first and foremost my friends. Treat them all the same, male or female.

glenimp617 · 5 Jul 2017 at 13:15

Six6siX said:
@adam cool dude - what if the female friend was lesbian? Would that be acceptable?

more than acceptable

adam cool dude · 5 Jul 2017 at 14:27

dl8860 said:
But from my point of view, that's like me saying to you "why do you need to ever socialise with any other person on the earth, isn't your wife enough?" Surely you see how ridiculous that is? My friends who are girls are not substitutes for my wife when I spend time with them.

You said yourself you spend time with male friends, without your wife. The difference is, I don't see any distinction between my male and female friends. I don't view all females as potential mating partners, but it sounds like you do. Which is pretty weird to be honest.

Having lunch during work tea break no problem or even socialising in a group but never one on one. I never said I saw women as potential mating partners I just do not see the point in having women friends that require one to one attention.

Is it draconic and wrong for a man to prefer socialising with other men and not women?

krooton · 5 Jul 2017 at 14:33

adam cool dude said:
Having lunch during work tea break no problem or even socialising in a group but never one on one. I never said I saw women as potential mating partners I just do not see the point in having women friends that require one to one attention.

lol, you don't have any female friends then, at best female acquaintances

dr_volki · 5 Jul 2017 at 14:37

adam cool dude said:
Having lunch during work tea break no problem or even socialising in a group but never one on one. I never said I saw women as potential mating partners I just do not see the point in having women friends that require one to one attention.

so you never go out with anyone one on one?
i find this rather odd. i couldn't tell you how often i've met someone male or female just for a coffee.
maybe it's just my european lifestyle

adam cool dude · 5 Jul 2017 at 14:40

dr_volki said:
so you never go out with anyone one on one?
i find this rather odd. i couldn't tell you how often i've met someone male or female just for a coffee.
maybe it's just my european lifestyle

My partner of ten years is European. I am half European and I have no female friends that I see on a regular basis. I guess I am weird then!

dr_volki · 5 Jul 2017 at 14:45

adam cool dude said:
My partner of ten years is European. I am half European and I have no female friends that I see on a regular basis. I guess I am weird then!

european =/= english (according to some posters here) was more tongue in cheek

or maybe you are weird

Freefaller · 5 Jul 2017 at 15:43

Roar87 said:
I trust her, but if something ever felt like it didn't add up I would also verify that she was doing what she said she was, I wouldn't just blindly go along with what she said. I worry that a lot of men are too trusting, or very naïve, and this is proved by the very real fact that millions of men in this country raise children thinking they are their biological children when in fact their partner has cheated on them and lied to them. In my eyes it should be a crime.

I'm in a long term relationship and understand women and relationships more than the vast majority of men who are married, thanks for your input though. As above regarding trust.

IT's not about being naive, it's about being a bit more mature, and life experience, but also about having some trust, and not being in some for of teenage tryst which you seem to think all relationships are...

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

Because you can have friends other than your wife? Do you only ever socialise with your wife? Do you not have any friends at all?

jsmoke · 5 Jul 2017 at 15:47

Could be going to lunch with one of these soon?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/...derly-lonelybut-pleasure-bots-have-dark-side/

dowie · 5 Jul 2017 at 16:44

Freefaller said:
Because you can have friends other than your wife? Do you only ever socialise with your wife? Do you not have any friends at all?

^^^this

there were a group of people I was friends with at school, mix of boys and girls, and we've stayed in touch for years, go to each others weddings, have been on holiday together a bunch of times etc... I think it would be ridiculous to suddenly stop seeing some of them after all this time simply because they're female

Jean-F · 5 Jul 2017 at 18:09

adam cool dude said:
The question arises though why do you need the company of a female when you are married? What is wrong with the company of your wife? Isn't it strange to leave your wife at home and go for lunch with another woman? You are basically saying you prefer her company.

Not easy to work out your agenda here adam, I could be way wrong, and possibly insult you, so I won't cast an opinion at all.
A few weeks back, my wife called to say that it was someone's birthday in her office, so a couple of the girls were going for a drink, she wouldn't be late, and that there was some left over chili con carne in the fridge, just boil some rice, drain it, and I'd be good to go.
I tossed this around for 5 minutes, then thought screw that.
I called one of our friends, a woman who'd been widowed a couple of years ago, "What are you doing tonight Zoë?"
She said, "I thought that I'd have a bottle of Viognier, and watch something that I've recorded on T.V., why?"
"Well, Nicky's out with friends, how about meeting at Victualler, Garnet Street, for a couple of bottles and some dinner?"
She said, '"I can be there in 25-30 minutes."
We had a relaxing dinner together, then she face-timed my wife, and said, "Come on down Nick, Jean is springing for dinner and drinks."
My wife said, "Send him home before he gets drunk, I'll call you later."
What could be wrong with that?

Lopéz · 5 Jul 2017 at 18:46

I wouldn't think twice about having lunch with a female friend, or female colleague - either "alone" or in a group.

adam cool dude · 5 Jul 2017 at 19:07

Jean-F said:
Not easy to work out your agenda here adam, I could be way wrong, and possibly insult you, so I won't cast an opinion at all.
A few weeks back, my wife called to say that it was someone's birthday in her office, so a couple of the girls were going for a drink, she wouldn't be late, and that there was some left over chili con carne in the fridge, just boil some rice, drain it, and I'd be good to go.
I tossed this around for 5 minutes, then thought screw that.
I called one of our friends, a woman who'd been widowed a couple of years ago, "What are you doing tonight Zoë?"
She said, "I thought that I'd have a bottle of Viognier, and watch something that I've recorded on T.V., why?"
"Well, Nicky's out with friends, how about meeting at Victualler, Garnet Street, for a couple of bottles and some dinner?"
She said, '"I can be there in 25-30 minutes."
We had a relaxing dinner together, then she face-timed my wife, and said, "Come on down Nick, Jean is springing for dinner and drinks."
My wife said, "Send him home before he gets drunk, I'll call you later."
What could be wrong with that?

Nothing at all but say your wife was at home and you were together and you said you were going out to see a female friend for some dinner enjoy your chilli con carne. It wouldn't be odd?

adam cool dude · 5 Jul 2017 at 19:20

Freefaller said:
Because you can have friends other than your wife? Do you only ever socialise with your wife? Do you not have any friends at all?

I have plenty of friends male and female but have always met in groups and never alone unless it is work related or play dates etc. I cannot be the only one surely as plenty of my school, social and work friends are exactly the same. Say for example a woman at work invites me over to dinner. She is with her husband and I am with my wife. It is nice to have a chat that both yourself and spouse can share.