I have put Poo in a letter box !!

DXP55 · 7 Aug 2017 at 12:16

When you get to 65 the NHS sends you a stool testing kit - So for three days on trot I smeared a sample in patch and sealed it up - When done I posted in a Letter Box - I did feel better.

Anyway -- The results came today and it's all clear - big sigh of relief. It's amazing how little things cheer you up.

Sasahara · 7 Aug 2017 at 12:18

Sadly with a lot of people not washing their hands I suspect a lot of letters & parcels will have trace amounts of poo on them. :/

russell664 · 7 Aug 2017 at 14:28

Sasahara said:
Sadly with a lot of people not washing their hands I suspect a lot of letters & parcels will have trace amounts of poo on them. :/

Knife and fork time.

Mynight · 7 Aug 2017 at 14:39

Sasahara said:
Sadly with a lot of people not washing their hands I suspect a lot of letters & parcels will have trace amounts of poo on them. :/

You only need to lick letters before they get sent, not when you receive them.

pastymuncher · 7 Aug 2017 at 15:25

It's when you hit 50 up here so both myself and the wife went through this "procedure" back in November. Both came back all clear thankfully. It's a good thing but damn, it's gross!!

KNiVES · 7 Aug 2017 at 15:53

Wait. You have to **** in a box and send it off when you turn 65?

Six6siX · 7 Aug 2017 at 15:55

What is this testing for??

dcsarge · 7 Aug 2017 at 15:56

KNiVES said:
Wait. You have to **** in a box and send it off when you turn 65?

You can do it before but that gets you a different kind of appointment.

pastymuncher · 7 Aug 2017 at 19:23

Six6siX said:
What is this testing for??

Bowel cancer screening. You have to smear poo on a sample card for three days in a row and then post it off to get tested. If it's clear you get a letter telling you that. If it's a unclear result you have to do the test again up to a maximum of twice more. If it's not normal you get invited in to have a camera stuck up your hoop so they can have a look around to see what is going on.

Cromulent · 7 Aug 2017 at 19:27

pastymuncher said:
Bowel cancer screening. You have to smear poo on a sample card for three days in a row and then post it off to get tested. If it's clear you get a letter telling you that. If it's a unclear result you have to do the test again up to a maximum of twice more. If it's not normal you get invited in to have a camera stuck up your hoop so they can have a look around to see what is going on.

I only poo once every 2 - 3 days. That would take me ages.

KNiVES · 7 Aug 2017 at 19:30

Eat some fiber dude. You're supposed to drop the kids off at the pool every day.

DXP55 · 7 Aug 2017 at 21:23

I have a mate who was suffering from prostate and then his poo sample came back positive - he was lucky they got him in time - quick op and bit of Chemo and he recovered.

I have to admit doing the pick up is a bit gross but now got the procedure down to a fine art. Fourth time for me.

You have 14 day to return the package before it's unusable - so three poos in 9 days should get you in.

The first few replies made me think - will handle my post now with nitrile gloves.

Caged · 7 Aug 2017 at 21:25

KNiVES said:
Eat some fiber dude. You're supposed to drop the kids off at the pool every day.

Yeah seriously. Each day about half an hour after the first cup of tea at work, if you're getting paid for it then that's an added incentive.