Not having plans/goals

Telecaster

Telecaster

Telecaster

Soldato
Joined
17 Jun 2012
Posts
5,951
Is this detrimental to mental health and happiness?

My whole life up to yet has been lived on a day-to-day basis- I've never had any goals or plans as I just can't get into that sort of mindset, I'm a bit to laissez-faire about life if I'm honest so whatever happens happens and I just deal with it when it crops up.

But this makes me wonder that not having anything to look forward to contributes to my very low mental state at times, all I see is another day at work and nothing else.

I don't have a career and have never looked upon work in that respect, it's just a job that I have to give up my time for that has never held any interest to me, either climbing the ladder or getting qualifications etc just doesn't hold any importance with me.

I honestly don't know where people find the time and motivation to do things after work, I'm just completely knackered and by the time I've got home, showered and made myself something to eat and caught up with any housework then I'm fit for nothing except bed. I work with a guy who spends pretty much all his time outside of work doing "stuff" and I just can't fathom how he manages it :/

I know that not having any interests or hobbies is a sign of depression, and I do suffer with it, but aside from winning the lottery I can't see any way out of it.
 
Goals and plans gives life a purpose (albeit on the grand scheme of things rather meaningless unless you are the next Einstein) but we are here only once so do what you can to make yourself happy.

Having something you care about makes life more interesting, whatever it is.
 
I'm guessing majority of people like that, however amazing how much energy and ideas you can get if your focused and enjoying what you do. Never seen anyone in my life like my dad for working(when he was working age). Always doing things after work also. Workaholic, just loved it. To do with focus, distractions, mindset and enjoyment. So yes you could call it a mental issue. Probably find a lot of this is determined in your younger years. Lot to do with people around you.
 
Everyone is different, for some it comes natural but with most it's traits they've inherited from parents or learnt from someone they looked up to at a young age.

Energy levels will only improve if you get your body used to doing something instead of your same routine, nearly everyone I know who's started exercising has said it's increased their energy levels instead of making them decrease.

Outside of family security most people are driven by captilism, that's why "it works". I know personally I would be nowhere near as driven if it wasn't for the goal of a nice house in the countryside later in life and nice cars.

Let's not forget the biggest factor, sexual selection.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Energy levels will only improve if you get your body used to doing something instead of your same routine, nearly everyone I know who's started exercising has said it's increased their energy levels instead of making them decrease.
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I have a very physical job, after work exercising just ain't happening, even if I wanted to.

For me I've always found it difficult to have more than a passing interest in anything, I really envy people who are really passionate about something and devote a lot of time/energy into it. Nothing really gets me like that, in fact I find as I get older any interest I did have fades away even more, not interested in any sport any more and I used to follow football, cricket, tennis, massive WRC fan, F1 etc.. Couldn't tell you the last time I watched anything or bothered to find out any results.

Used to be a massive petrol head and have owned a list of performance cars longer than my arm, now I haven't even owned a car for over 5 years, never mind a performance one. Never been one for holidays either, never got around to getting a passport but the hassle of just organising it and going away, I just can't be bothered.
 
If you've completely given up on most things and have zero interest then it could be depression or some chemical imbalance. You've mentioned it yourself so it could be an idea to seek some professional advice.

How long have you been in your job? A change of scenery and doing something completely different can be huge.
 
That actually sounds a lot like me, when younger used to play a lot of sports, be pretty social, always have ideas and dreams and a lot of energy, then moved to uni, big city and felt like I just became a statistic after a few years. Lot more people to distact you also. So as I said it's the way you keep focused from the distractions of others and their influences on you that is a key point. Need like minded people around you to fuel your ideas and passions.

Look at Trump for example he has an army of very carefully selected people around him, nobody unwanted will get into his inner circle, even though he mixes with a lot of people he will have family, friends, allies and political avisors that are constantly bolstering his views and ideas.

It's mainly to do with your relationships with others in other words.
 
I'm very much the same OP. I used to watch my dad get really cut up about rugby, cricket and sports results and always wondered if it's something I'm missing out on or managed to evade some sort of collective mental illness. I mean, this guy REALLY cared if team A in blue colors made less points than team B and green colors. He'd get into actual lively debates with other people that also appear to care. Very much the same on these very forums with Nvidia vs AMD, Intel vs AMD, Xbox vs PS4. Break it down intellectually into its smallest parts and it literally makes no sense that people get so worked up. Socially it kinda makes sense as people seem to have some sort of hive mind with the need to pick a side. Sometimes seemingly on a whim but a side simply has to be picked.

Saying that, in the end if comes down to happiness. It made my dad happy and sad but at least it made him 'something'. I look too deep into things and realize that it's actually rather pointless. But that's also no way to go through life.

Let me know if you find the answer. Be good to know :p
 
Ayahuasca said:
If you've completely given up on most things and have zero interest then it could be depression or some chemical imbalance. You've mentioned it yourself so it could be an idea to seek some professional advice.

How long have you been in your job? A change of scenery and doing something completely different can be huge.
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About 2 1/2 years and I'm just getting to that point where I've had enough, this is how jobs go with me, once I'm into the grind of it i just give up.

regulus said:
I'm very much the same OP. I used to watch my dad get really cut up about rugby, cricket and sports results and always wondered if it's something I'm missing out on or managed to evade some sort of collective mental illness. I mean, this guy REALLY cared if team A in blue colors made less points than team B and green colors. He'd get into actual lively debates with other people that also appear to care. Very much the same on these very forums with Nvidia vs AMD, Intel vs AMD, Xbox vs PS4. Break it down intellectually into its smallest parts and it literally makes no sense that people get so worked up. Socially it kinda makes sense as people seem to have some sort of hive mind with the need to pick a side. Sometimes seemingly on a whim but a side simply has to be picked.

Saying that, in the end if comes down to happiness. It made my dad happy and sad but at least it made him 'something'. I look too deep into things and realize that it's actually rather pointless. But that's also no way to go through life.

Let me know if you find the answer. Be good to know :p
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Yes a lot of it is to do with just not seeing the point to anything. Like I said, unless I come into a large sum of money then I fear this is my lot.
 
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Probably suffering from declining/low testosterone, no energy or interest in things is a sign, especially if it's getting worse. As you get older no one expects to have the energy levels of a 20 year old but you definitely need to go to a Doctor and get checked out.
 
Roar87 said:
Probably suffering from declining/low testosterone, no energy or interest in things is a sign, especially if it's getting worse. As you get older no one expects to have the energy levels of a 20 year old but you definitely need to go to a Doctor and get checked out.
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Good point, could well be this, I've spoken to a few older gents in the gym who had their levels checked and results were low, started supplementing T and they said it gave them a new lease of life. Pot luck whether your GP will do anything about it though if it is low.
 
How old is old though, I'm only 38!

I could probably do with some time off, I've only used 4 days holiday so far this year which means I've got 16 left to use before years end. Trouble is I'd only sit at home, but still, time off is time off and I'm ready for it.
 
Telecaster said:
How old is old though, I'm only 38!

I could probably do with some time off, I've only used 4 days holiday so far this year which means I've got 16 left to use before years end. Trouble is I'd only sit at home, but still, time off is time off and I'm ready for it.
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T levels usually start dropping considerable amounts after your mid 30's but again it's different for everyone, if you're physically exhausted everyday from work though this may also contribute to low levels.
 
Honestly..... I am chuffed if I can make it through a day without wanting to top myself. Various reasons for it including a crippling health problem that I cannot afford to have.

Mental health services are a shocking waste of time. Cancelled two appointments on me. No doctor the first time (they all left), and psychiatric nurses that can prescribe are off sick with stress. The only avenue the GP has. You couldn't make it up.

Apparently hearing voices at night is a reasonable ailment to live with these days. LoL

I was embarrassed about it and kept it to myself for months, but after having a nervous breakdown a couple of weeks ago I am past caring. Suffered a break and took a clawhammer to my car. Triggered by having not slept for days on end, and little sleep in the past year working night shifts. Got lucky that the copper who turned up was a decent bloke.

Night shifts which I had to work in order to break even financially at the end of each month. Debt will probably rack up unless I find a new job soon, but i'm not sure there is much demand for nutters in the work market.

My story is pretty similar to hundreds out there.

It is what it is. Not only am I the neighbourhood nutter now (good audience apparently), i'm the laughing stock at work who everyone is actually scared of. Had my boss bumbling on the phone at me and can sense right away he's worried I will go postal.

Family don't talk to me the same way after some moron blabbed about it all.

I would have driven my car into the Trent ages ago if I didn't have two young kids who think I am amazing and the funniest thing on planet earth to them.

About the only thing I have got right.

Personally I think goals are overrated. Staying alive is as good as it gets.

So yeah..... the fact you feel like you should want , need or have a goal shows there is a light and spark there. You'll be fine.
 
Telecaster said:
Is this detrimental to mental health and happiness?
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yes almost certainly, along with not being in a relationship, not having hobbies/social life etc.. these things are not just detrimental to mental health but also your physical health and life expectancy and frankly are things that it is well worth putting some effort into sorting out
 
Ayahuasca said:
Good point, could well be this, I've spoken to a few older gents in the gym who had their levels checked and results were low, started supplementing T and they said it gave them a new lease of life. Pot luck whether your GP will do anything about it though if it is low.
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Yep, it makes you lose ambition and drive, makes you sleep poorly, obviously no/low libido, depressed, low energy, etc. Keep an eye out for it as you get older. You'll especially suffer if you don't get enough sleep, vitamin D and fat in your diet.
 
Why don't you make some plans and see what impact it has? I'm sure people here could help you focus on something and give good advice on how to progress towards your goal.

@Arthur Hucksake hopefully you get some decent assistance soon, it sounds like you're suffering a bit fella.
 
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