My best friend dropped dead last night at the age of 32

mistersprinkles said:
My ex girlfriend who, after we broke up, became my best friend over the past ten years, died suddenly at home last night. Nobody knows what happened. We're waiting for the autopsy. She was at home with her boyfriend and suddenly she collapsed and died all within about 60 seconds. The ambulance didn't get there fast enough.

I don't know why I'm posting this... I'm losing it... I don't know what to do. 3 people I know have died in the last 48 hours.
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While it may seem hard to hear, if you're going to pass away that's the way to do it. It's harder for those left behind, but the other way, a long drawn out illness, while it makes it easier for those left behind it's torture for the one that is ill.

We lost a 17 year last Friday in a car accident, her car and 2 HGV's. Our next door neighbours granddaughter but we've watched her grow up over the last 8 years. It's a massive shock to everyone so I know how you're feeling. Focus on there being no pain, focus on the happy memories and the amazing way you touched and shaped each other's lives.
 
AHarvey said:
While it may seem hard to hear, if you're going to pass away that's the way to do it. It's harder for those left behind, but the other way, a long drawn out illness, while it makes it easier for those left behind it's torture for the one that is ill.
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I'd disagree with that, I'd not wish a sudden unexpected death on anyone (two friends of mine experienced them with a parent and they were devastating, one happened when we were at school) - it isn't like everyone else who dies does so in great pain and it would be much better usually to have some time to prepare (even if it is going to come too soon due to some sudden discovery of a terminal condition etc..)

sorry again OP for your loss :(
 
Normally the cause of such a young death is either undiscovered congenital heart defect, SADS, aneurysm, stroke.

Its very sad losing someone you hold dear, stay strong.. i lost my dad last year age 56 of cancer.. haunts me every day.. especially as i held his hand as he took his last breaths, the sight is harrowing beyond belief..
 
dowie said:
I'd disagree with that, I'd not wish a sudden unexpected death on anyone (two friends of mine experienced them with a parent and they were devastating, one happened when we were at school) - it isn't like everyone else who dies does so in great pain and it would be much better usually to have some time to prepare (even if it is going to come too soon due to some sudden discovery of a terminal condition etc..)

sorry again OP for your loss :(
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so what you're saying is your two friends at school lost a parent and were devastated by it? isn't that what I said, that a sudden death is better for the person dying but worse for those left behind?

When I go I'd like it to be like my wife's grandmother, having a laugh and a joke at the hospital, then instant collapse and not waking up again. Like being disconnected from the matrix while still inside it.

The longer it takes to pass, days, weeks, months normally does have an increased amount of suffering.
 
AHarvey said:
so what you're saying is your two friends at school lost a parent and were devastated by it? isn't that what I said, that a sudden death is better for the person dying but worse for those left behind?
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I don't think it is a good thing for the person dying either... I'd not want to die unexpectedly, I'd much rather be able to plan for things even if it was only a relatively short period of time like being told I had months left to live - I doubt very much the either of the parents of my friends who died suddenly would have been glad about it, especially given the mess it left

When I go I'd like it to be like my wife's grandmother, having a laugh and a joke at the hospital, then instant collapse and not waking up again. Like being disconnected from the matrix while still inside it.
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given she was a grandmother and in hospital already that isn't really the sort of sudden death being talked about here - it isn't exactly as unexpected as someone who isn't an elderly person and isn't in hospital suddenly dying

The longer it takes to pass, days, weeks, months normally does have an increased amount of suffering.
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that isn't necessarily true at all - there are plenty of ways to die and they're not all without pain - certainly not necessarily better relative to say some old person with decent palliative care passing away naturally in a hospital with a morphine drip attached


sorry OP, I don't mean to derail your thread here I just didn't think the idea of someone dying suddenly at a young age being seen as a good way to go is right
 
I didn't want this to turn into a whole discussion about the merits of dying quickly versus suffering, but it's the internet... I will say this- I would rather drop dead suddenly, despite the horror I would feel in that moment, versus dying painfully and slowly over months or years due to something like cancer.

I think it is more painful for the people left behind, though, if a person who seems healthy just dies suddenly without warning. The shock and horror are very real. I've been physically ill for a couple of days because of the shock and sadness I've been feeling.
 
I would have rather my dad die quickly rather than what he had to go through.. i dont know how many of you have witnessed a close family member die og cancer before your eyes.. but it is by far the most distressing thing i have ever experienced.
 
terley said:
I would have rather my dad die quickly rather than what he had to go through.. i dont know how many of you have witnessed a close family member die og cancer before your eyes.. but it is by far the most distressing thing i have ever experienced.
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I'm very sorry you went through that

Uther said:
If it is affecting you this badly then I think it might be useful to talk to somebody, and I don't mean the internet.
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Ya that's probably a good idea.
 
My
terley said:
I would have rather my dad die quickly rather than what he had to go through.. i dont know how many of you have witnessed a close family member die og cancer before your eyes.. but it is by far the most distressing thing i have ever experienced.
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I had the exact same experience as you last year. He was 58 and it was an unpleasant way for him to go.

I'd rather die in an instant. But not at 32, which I am now.

Peace to everyone who is losing someone or has lost someone close and too soon. As Housey says, today is just as important and tomorrow. Make both count.

Death is inevitable one way or another. We will all lose someone close and it will hurt. All we can do is take the memories, the positivity and the experience of those we've lost and make that live on in serving positive for our own lives. That's what they would always want to happen. Be sad, but don't be sad for too long, life really is too short.
 
same kinda thing happened to a friend of a friend. went home to get a couple hours kip before a shift, mother went up and found her dead. adult equivalent of the cot death thing if i recall, no definitive reason for it, just happens.
 
Tragic, I can't imagine having witnessed this.

Do you have people around you you can talk to OP? You can feel guilty enjoying your own life after things like this happen, but I'm sure your friend would only want you to be happy. Never forget that.
 
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