My Condolenses to the op - I had a friend at school who died of a opioid overdose.
Certainly over time medications can lose efficacy as tolerance sets in, this is why regular reviews of treatment are carried out, the outcome of which may result in a higher dose being prescribed or a change in treatment.
Tolerance isn't complete though, for example i've been using oral slow release morphine for 15 years or so and it still has a positive effect (i've not had a dose increase in 11 years). I know because every so often, maybe twice in 12 months i taper the dose down, this also helps to reduce tolerance (doesn't last long though), and also to test i've not developed opioid induced hyperalgesia.
Of course there are many negatives but compared to constant intractable pain they really are tiny. However strong opioids absolutely should not be the first line of treatment. I'm not sure how things work now but 15 - 18 years ago i went through many different methods and drugs including a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist before strong opioids were even talked about. In fact i had to change GP's as my original GP refused to prescribe them despite being instructed to by a pain management consultant anestheasiologist. I'm glad I did though as my original GP was terrible, didn't listen to the patient at all. Unlike the GP I now have, the feeling you have more control over things is actually very benificial in itself.
Part of the problem is people don't understand addiction, use of strong opioids for more than a week or so will cause physical dependence it is inevitable and as long as it is tapered slowly withdrawal is minimal, believe me i've done it many times. This isn't the same as addiction.
To be addicted you also need to be psychologically dependent, which when used for pain, doesn't happen very often, between 4% and 10% i think. and if your GP is doing his/her job properly they will see the signs. Things like requested reguler dosage increases (this can also be because of inadaquate management of pain though), running out to and requesting repeats early etc.
People also need to have a more realistic expectations of treatment, for most stopping pain is impossible, and opioids aren't a magic bullet.
The problem in the US though is mainly due to the tightening up of the prescription of opioids, there fore less end up in the black market, so most users end up using blackmarket heroin/fentanyl. Unlike prescription pills with known dosage and purity. Black market stuff you can only guess. It doesn't help that fentanyl is 100 or so times strong than heroin and some of the analogues of fentanyl are even stronger, some up to 10,000 times stronger.
The diversion of pharmaceutical opioids and people prescribed legally may have been addicted, but it is the war on drugs and stopping that supply that is killing people. and thats not to mention the damage done to family members and the community, and the money going to dealers and gangs in the supply chain.