When you have everything but ....

[Unisol Magic]

Maybe do a spot of volunteering with a homeless charity or some such, perhaps working with folks that have nothing might persuade you that your life is not as bad as you think.

It’s certainly worth considering yes. I’d prefer to help animals though

maybe this is catching up...too many highs and lows?!

Probably so lol

 

[Kronos]

It’s certainly worth considering yes. I’d prefer to help animals though

You and me both, lots of local cat or dog homes/refuges are seeking volunteers for all sorts of stuff.
I do a bit of cat fostering though in the early stages as my own beast Millie is a bit miffed about it all. But I encourage all sorts to come and get a free feed in my back garden and so far I have lots of small birds, a couple of hedgehogs, a young female fox, at least I think it is, three squirrels and recently what I thought was a stray cat you turned out to be a bit of a chancer.

 

[Brookert]

Before you make any radical changes, it's worth pinpointing the aspects of your life that you feel need improving. Obviously this doesn't happen overnight. For me, it was spending 6 hours+ a day behind the wheel, and working a job I didn't believe in. It's just a waste of your life.

I think having goals and targets personally help. For example, my short term goal is to finish my masters. Next, learning to sail and getting my own boat. Long term goal, Chartership in my job.

 

[AMDPower]

Hi

I have not really talked about this before and don't really like to to be honest but I felt if it can help you in anyway

I read your post and can sympathise with you but I must also say something and want to just pass on some advice.
When you have your health and those that are close to you that you care about then you have EVERYTHING. Nothing more you can ask for in life, everything else is a just bonus. How do i know?

Well, 5 years go I was doing so well, phd, VERY HIGH paid job, unbeatable work prospects, ect ect and i was not happy. I always wanted to push myself and wanted more. I paid no attention to those around me and so it just went on. Then out the blue, i got hit with an illness and turned my life into hell. Living became a misery, i could not walk, i could not move, i could not eat anything, i could not breath, i could not sit ,constant asthma attacks, i lost 70% of my hair and it all turned white, child labor like pain 24/7 month after month, year after year and with no pain relief in sight and doctors could do nothing. I tried over 10 different types of pain mediation and several nerve block operations. I used to love going out and meeting with friends, partying, going gym since i was 14, it all came crashing down. Laying on the ambulance just to go to hospital appointment. Being looked at strange. Having gone being independent to relying on those around me was the hardest part, mentally i broke apart many times, over and over i kept crashing. I lost 40kg in weight and at one point weights 54kg for a 6ft person that had 6pac and lots of muscle at one point. I really was a mess and this is only half the story and the other half is even worse than this.

i used to be get upset and frustrated if things never went my way, i was in way mentally weak and let things affect me that should not of. Starting again or failing scared the hell out of but surviving with this illness made me hard as rock mental eventually. I am not going to lie its far from easy but I just get on with it. I got a military survival attitude to things now. I just get on with it and don't think how hard or daunting things are. I enjoy challenge and found out that your attitude and how you approach things is key in life, it truly is and I never ever realised this. Self pity was killing me slowly and it took a while to realise that, oh why me, my life was so good how can this be me, how can this happen to me ect ect.

anyway it made me realise how lucky I was before and how fortunate i was to have my health and I abused it, with smoking, drinking and so on. The sad story is there are people out there even worse and more unfortunate than me and my heart is with them. To suffer is a horrible thing and many times I wanted to just call it a day be done with it, i really was ready to drink my whole morphine bottle and be done with it, the constant pain was SOULE DRAINING really was, i was willing to not exist but to make it stop. But I refused to give up without trying as life is too precious mate you are only here once and your time is so unbelievably limited and then that's it.

Really mate, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING. I am a great believer in that if you become ungrateful life will punish your for it.

I think you need children if you don't have one, it will give you a sense of purpose. Having my brothers baby around when i was ill was a joy for me. Every time i saw him he gave me energy and hope to go on and often when i was in lots of pain he would come and cuddle me, bless his little soul.

sorry for the wall of txt

all the best.

 

[rIcK]

I always go through some level of similar nonsense, ultimately I am most happy when I keep myself busy and surround myself with friends.

 

[Raymond Lin]

One needs to learn to be content, you can always chase and chase and ambition is although good and healthy, there comes a point you need to stop and perhaps reflect and appreciate and see that life is passing you by and enjoy the moment.

 

[malachi]

Finish work early then hit the gym, dont save the gym for only the weekends.

Do not drink during the week. Save that for weekend and Friday night. Coming in from work and having a drink to unwind is one of the worse things you can do, especially if you do that most nights. Stops the waistline from increasing too.

These should help your mood a lot.

 

[Things change I've changed]

Seriously, once you have the basics in life everything else becomes a little superfluous in my opinion.

 

[flea.rider]

Very true.

I’ve never been jealous of anyone. I’ve witnessed many people who’ve done well and have nice things and it’s always inspired me. I’ve looked at how they’ve gone about things to pick up tips etc.

Unfortunately many people aren’t prepared to put in the effort and just moan about how crap their lives are. I think many of my staff have got settled down way too young, had kids before they’re in a financial position to do so and have ended up resentful of others who have their lives in order

wow .. I'm so glad you had the time and money to do what you have done .. but plz do not berate those less fortunate .. both my kids were a surprise and yes my wife was on the pill ..
and I have scraped and saved for them .to the point of feeding them before myself . so yes my life was crap as you put it and yes at some points I did moan ..but never did I not give 110%
you sir have made me angry with that statement .. **** just happens ..deal with it .
but to say both my kids now earn over £45k a yr is a good thing .and I wont take a penny from them .
and I'm still in a **** job working 45-50 hrs a week ..but I can go to my grave knowing the next generation is/will be better off
tell you what ask them why they moan so much get to the real answers not just whats on top ..

 

[Mason-]

I didn’t see you mention them in your opening post, but do you have children? I think a lot of the people who say that the most fulfilling thing they’ve ever done is be a parent are not lying.

Touchy subject for some people I know, but perhaps think about it.

 

[JBuk]

wow .. I'm so glad you had the time and money to do what you have done .. but plz do not berate those less fortunate .. both my kids were a surprise and yes my wife was on the pill ..
and I have scraped and saved for them .to the point of feeding them before myself . so yes my life was crap as you put it and yes at some points I did moan ..but never did I not give 110%
you sir have made me angry with that statement .. **** just happens ..deal with it .
but to say both my kids now earn over £45k a yr is a good thing .and I wont take a penny from them .
and I'm still in a **** job working 45-50 hrs a week ..but I can go to my grave knowing the next generation is/will be better off
tell you what ask them why they moan so much get to the real answers not just whats on top ..

Calm down dear, it’s a commercial..

What he has said is true, there are many people like that but there’s also many who aren’t , I often hear bitter comments targeted at those who have done well for themselves , more so from people who have had the potential to further themselves but haven’t , that’s not to say there isn’t people who have just had a tough time and can’t seem to get a break but I generally find these people deal with it and a don’t let other people’s success make them bitter or jealous

 

[Unisol Magic]

wow .. I'm so glad you had the time and money to do what you have done .. but plz do not berate those less fortunate .. both my kids were a surprise and yes my wife was on the pill ..
and I have scraped and saved for them .to the point of feeding them before myself . so yes my life was crap as you put it and yes at some points I did moan ..but never did I not give 110%
you sir have made me angry with that statement .. **** just happens ..deal with it .
but to say both my kids now earn over £45k a yr is a good thing .and I wont take a penny from them .
and I'm still in a **** job working 45-50 hrs a week ..but I can go to my grave knowing the next generation is/will be better off
tell you what ask them why they moan so much get to the real answers not just whats on top ..

I was talking about some people that work for me - not you! I’m happy for you though, it sounds like you have a good attitude as well as being very hard working.

I believe most of my staff have admitted they’ve made mistakes having kids too young and should have waited until they were in a better financial position.

Despite what I’ve said above, I truly believe deep down they love working for me. Many have said what a great ‘boss’ (hate that word) I am. I sometimes ask why they look so down especially in a morning and they’ll usually say something like “just stress at home etc”. Problem with me is I automatically assume it’s the job they’re not happy with. I’m too sensitive and openly admit it. Not the worst affliction to have really. At least I care but evidently don’t care enough about myself.

You’ve formed an opinion of me but that fine

I didn’t see you mention them in your opening post, but do you have children? I think a lot of the people who say that the most fulfilling thing they’ve ever done is be a parent are not lying.

Touchy subject for some people I know, but perhaps think about it.

It’s too late for us given that my wife is 5 years older than me. Like I’ve said, we’re totally fine with it. We’ve had our niece live with us on and off over the years and yes it’s been very fulfilling. She became almost like our own and created such a huge bond. Unfortunately we don’t see her much as her home is abroad but speak regularly on FaceTime. I used to take her to javelin training once a week while she lived with us and hopefully she’ll be in the next olympics (for real). So proud of her.

 

[Combat squirrel]

Op: Just a sign of modern life, people concerned about money and list ticking not quality of life.

I'm recently leaving a life of a house of positions and latest gear to van life and all I need to work (couple of bags of stuff n a pc).

That's it.

Living in amazing beautiful natural landscapes, doing abit of work, heading off in the UKs and EUs national parks with my dog, toddle back to the van, do abit more work etc.

9-5 is the killer, I just work when I want and walk in natural world's when I want, a few days I have to be places sure but most of the time I work from my pc and chill where I like.

 

[Unisol Magic]

Op: Just a sign of modern life, people concerned about money and list ticking not quality of life.

I'm recently leaving a life of a house of positions and latest gear to van life and all I need to work (couple of bags of stuff n a pc).

That's it.

Living in amazing beautiful natural landscapes, doing abit of work, heading off in the UKs and EUs national parks with my dog, toddle back to the van, do abit more work etc.

9-5 is the killer, I just work when I want and walk in natural world's when I want, a few days I have to be places sure but most of the time I work from my pc and chill where I like.

Sounds awesome

 

[lude1962]

'Despite what I’ve said above, I truly believe deep down they love working for me.'
-this is so wrong
'Many have said what a great ‘boss’ (hate that word) I am'
- first and foremost you are the boss, not their best friend, staff are likely to be receiving mixed messages as to where the boundaries lie.
'I sometimes ask why they look so down especially in a morning'
- and then the staff dread turning up if they're not smiling 'cos the boss will want a 'chat' / be nosey

OP, a reoccurring theme through this thread seems to be about your work and the boss/staff relationship. As others have suggested you need to step back and employ a manager for the hands on stuff.

 

[Raymond Lin]

There is that episode in Friends where Chandler got promoted and he wonders why all his colleagues now all of the sudden stopped talking to him and gets all quiet the second he walks into the room.

The moral of the story is that stop trying to be friends with the people that work for you. There is a boundary there, always will be.

 

[flea.rider]

I was talking about some people that work for me - not you! I’m happy for you though, it sounds like you have a good attitude as well as being very hard working.

I believe most of my staff have admitted they’ve made mistakes having kids too young and should have waited until they were in a better financial position.

Despite what I’ve said above, I truly believe deep down they love working for me. Many have said what a great ‘boss’ (hate that word) I am. I sometimes ask why they look so down especially in a morning and they’ll usually say something like “just stress at home etc”. Problem with me is I automatically assume it’s the job they’re not happy with. I’m too sensitive and openly admit it. Not the worst affliction to have really. At least I care but evidently don’t care enough about myself.

You’ve formed an opinion of me but that fine

I'm sorry if it was harsh ..
but I really don't get it .. you have everything 95% of the population would want .. and yet you still want are looking for something else..
it's really strange to me to see post's like this from someone that has done well for themselves .
try taking a working mans holiday .. picking raspberry's or something along those lines ..
get in touch with yourself .as they say in Australia you need a walkabout .. keep going till you find yourself .

 

[ChroniC]

Well never say never.

It’s amazing really. I paid £55k for my car and £150 for (my) dog and I’d give my car away without Hesitation if I had to choose between them.

I feel like I suffer from this a bit. I am unlike you not even close to rich but I don't find money or possession to be particularly worth while.
I almost feel like I can no longer enjoy anything. I keep trying to do stuff that I used to enjoy, like extreme sports but even the most fun things to me just don't seem to be enjoyable anymore. I can always find fault in anything...
I think personally that the outside world is to blame. If everyone is constantly moaning about everything then it transfers to you or me etc.
The world needs to brighten up a bit. Its all doom and gloom.
Been wars for the past 17yrs. Recessions. Doing everything wrong apparently. Brexit etc etc.

 

[Combat squirrel]

Sounds awesome

Thanks just started doing it - it hard work at times - im still working on my van, absolutely shattered today - but its giving me purpose and focus, to most rich people on this forum its not to much money (is a fair bit to me), but once its done, its done and I can enjoy it for as many years as possible, keep the van maintained and it should keep going, then my only costs are fuel and food, got 300 watt solar on the roof to power the pc.

Sounds like you need an aim in life, something to work towards to give you fulfilment - I think every person eventually realises capitalism does not bring happiness - were conditioned to buy stuff to make us feel happier, but it doesnt work or work for long because the next best thing comes out and ur back to square one.

Why im mostly giving up possessions where I can, however ill still need a recent pc for my work, thats about it and a small indulgence, but my happiness comes from not running the rat race and living in the natural world.

 

[Unisol Magic]

There is that episode in Friends where Chandler got promoted and he wonders why all his colleagues now all of the sudden stopped talking to him and gets all quiet the second he walks into the room.

The moral of the story is that stop trying to be friends with the people that work for you. There is a boundary there, always will be.

I'm sorry if it was harsh ..
but I really don't get it .. you have everything 95% of the population would want .. and yet you still want are looking for something else..
it's really strange to me to see post's like this from someone that has done well for themselves .
try taking a working mans holiday .. picking raspberry's or something along those lines ..
get in touch with yourself .as they say in Australia you need a walkabout .. keep going till you find yourself .

Thanks

I’d love to do such things but have too many responsilities at home and work. It would t be fair to leave my wife to take care of the home, dogs and her mum. Still plenty of time once I get things in order.

I just wanted to say a MASSIVE thanks to those who have contributed to this thread. I’ve felt much better today and has helped me put things into perspective. Even my wife has noticed a big change in me already.