I'd say that's quite often! Especially considering you don't live near each other.
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I'd say that's quite often! Especially considering you don't live near each other.
This was my experience when I moved to London several years ago. Most of the meet ups were hard work and not worth it.
You'd have more luck with doing something that requires commitment to a common interest. I made good mates through a hiking group that often went for long weekends of difficult walks, and someone earlier in the thread mentioned doing a course at a college in photography. This will weed out a lot of the people who just try everything in the hope of having someone to talk at for the evening.
This isn't directed at you, but many people who say they dislike small talk need to get over themselves. Talking crap is an important part of bonding, the chances are that your conversation isn't as interesting as you think it is and people who want to have meaningful conversations all the time are tiresome.
I'm not sure you can generalise about meetup.com, I'm pretty sure you can find hiking groups on meet up too. It isn't just for dating groups or groups dedicated to specific programming languages, start ups etc..
that is a slightly odd take, you're talking as though it is a way to meet individuals? It's a website that allows groups to advertise/organise their events/meetings and for individuals to find those groups.
While there are some groups aimed at making friends (perhaps aimed at particular foreign nationalities within London etc.. like Swedish people can meet fellow Swedes who live here etc..) lots of groups relate to interests - like photography, hiking, yoga etc.. others relate to professional or academic interests. You can find meet ups related to programming languages, start ups etc.. And of course there are people running businesses on there - organising classes/seminars etc.. by setting up meetup events.
that is a slightly odd take, you're talking as though it is a way to meet individuals? It's a website that allows groups to advertise/organise their events/meetings and for individuals to find those groups.
While there are some groups aimed at making friends (perhaps aimed at particular foreign nationalities within London etc.. like Swedish people can meet fellow Swedes who live here etc..) lots of groups relate to interests - like photography, hiking, yoga etc.. others relate to professional or academic interests. You can find meet ups related to programming languages, start ups etc.. And of course there are people running businesses on there - organising classes/seminars etc.. by setting up meetup events.
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in my case im pretty sure my conversation isnt interesting and im very socially awkward ,i do partake in a little small talk at work in the canteen but wouldnt want to carry this on outside of work unless the small talker was maybe female blonde amd polish
Unfortunately for the people who "can't" make conversation - it's pretty much essential for social interaction, be that at work, at home, with your family, finding a partner.....
If you cannot (will not) make basic conversation, chit chat, small talk, whatever you want to call it, the chances are that you are going to have a very solitary existence and probably fail to make any real career progress.
Of course if you are happy with that then no worries.
I now expect to receive a barrage of responses from people who are unable to hold a normal conversion yet somehow claim to have fantastic lives filled with glorious and rewarding interactions.
If you cannot (will not) make basic conversation, chit chat, small talk, whatever you want to call it, the chances are that you are going to have a very solitary existence and probably fail to make any real career progress.
Of course if you are happy with that then no worries.
I now expect to receive a barrage of responses from people who are unable to hold a normal conversion yet somehow claim to have fantastic lives filled with glorious and rewarding interactions.
on my table at work in the canteen the small talk carrys on from some people even though their mouths are crammed full of food ,repeating obvious observations about the weather and how dire their job roles are ,reminds me of the scene in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy where people just yap constantly for fear of their minds been read
You’re spot on, in fact many of the posters have already admitted they’ve pretty much checked out of society, or aren’t doing very well career wise who’ve posted about being awkward or disinterested in socialising.
Even if you’re introverted, it’s still a primary need to form relationships with people and you can’t do that by avoiding any conversation you deem unworthy. At work people are often mentally fatigued and don’t want to be having deep conversations about the universe or whatever, a bit of light hearted chit chat goes a long way and shows you don’t take everything super seriously.
Socialising (and therefore talking) whilst dining as a group has been around for millennia. You might want to get used to it (or become a hermit)
Had a few girlfriends in the past where we could not hold long conversions so we just spent all that every free time having sex in the morning, day and night....
Dam I wish I was still younger
Soldato
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What do you mean they checked out of society? Like they are hermits?
There are a lot of weird groups in for sure. But just like dating you have to keep looking. Especially if you have no other alternatives.
Maybe I'm lucky, but I owe a lot. everyone I social with originated through meetup.
Of course, as said, if you are super socially awkward, it isnt going to work for you.
Sports clubs are also great I agree
Not having kids is also great. I wouldnt have the time if I had kids. Friends. Could soon start having kids. Which would be a shame
I see friends at least 6 times a month. 2 years ago, no friends seems like barely even a memory
Maybe I'm lucky, but I owe a lot. everyone I social with originated through meetup.
Of course, as said, if you are super socially awkward, it isnt going to work for you.
Sports clubs are also great I agree
Not having kids is also great. I wouldnt have the time if I had kids. Friends. Could soon start having kids. Which would be a shame
I see friends at least 6 times a month. 2 years ago, no friends seems like barely even a memory
I agree, I learnt that lesson in my teens and if I stayed in my comfort zone, shying away from social interaction then I wouldnt be where I am right now in life. I'm still working on my social skills day by day and I've made some great achievements in life because of it.
To some of the posters on here, if you like being alone and happy with that then suite yourself but don't complain when you don't get certain opportunities given to you or others succeed in life as you don't.
I had the same conversation with my best friend who was upset he didn't get promoted to supervisor in his job and they picked someone else who had been there half the time as him. I told him straight because he has crap social skills, is not a people person and would not be seen as a leader. He only had himself to blame as from the day we left high school, he went to work, came home and sat in front of the TV for the rest of the night. While the rest of us was out having fun, doing whatever, experiencing life.
Us as a human race are designed to socially interact with each other, not to be locked away in the corner and shy away from everyone. Many on here will argue with that and say "I don't to have make friends, talk to people, do what society expects me to do, blah, blah, blah" Well it's human nature and you cant argue with that.
As I said in the relationship thread, it's a common theme men being alone, not having many, if any friends at all. Yet most women keep all their friends for years and don't have that problem. It becomes clear after a break up when the man is running around clueless alone while their ex is out partying with their friends. Why is that?
Anyway, back on topic, you could do what I did last year and join a language class
Not only will you meet people, you will be forced to talk to them while learning a new skill, speaking another language which will benefit you in life.I'd say it's pot luck with sports/interest groups too, just because you play <insert sport here> with someone it doesn't mean you're going to automatically going to bond with that person.
There's no set way to find friends, you just need to get different things ago. At least if you join a club trying to learn something new or picking up something from the past then at least you'll have fun even if you don't make lots of friends.
Dating is the tricky one for me, it's just a minefield and needle in a haystack.
There's no set way to find friends, you just need to get different things ago. At least if you join a club trying to learn something new or picking up something from the past then at least you'll have fun even if you don't make lots of friends.
Dating is the tricky one for me, it's just a minefield and needle in a haystack.
Well it may be "important" or even "essential" - that doesn't stop me from being bored to tears when engaging in small talk with most people.
You say it's considered polite, you say it's bonding... but it's also dreary and I'd much rather be doing something else.
I don't have a chip on my shoulder about that, but nice try.Probably one of the reasons you live in your parent's basement.
For your own education, try looking at the percentage of adults now living with one or more parents in Cornwall; also in the UK. You might be surprised.
I don't think small talk for the sake of it is really necessary. Shared experiences are more key when it comes to friendships IMHO.
lots of pond life on the tube.It was a joke, calm yourself Warlock.
I have no idea what the percentage of adults living with their parents is in Cornwall, but I'd guess that most of them aren't almost 40?
Like I said, if you're interested, look it up. It's fairly shocking (both the dramatic rise in prevalence and the increasing average age of aforementioned adults living with parents). Tells a story about this country.
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