You could always not click on them, it isn't like the content of the thread was difficult to work out from the title.
Telling women to smile is not OK.
- Thread starter lakitu
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You could always not click on them, it isn't like the content of the thread was difficult to work out from the title.
They saw each other every day and they may have spoken or exchanged glances and he actually asked her out, so she had the option to say no thanks and that would be that. Not leaving a note saying 'your face was made to smile'.
That thought process normally comes from the fact that men are more likely to make unwanted advances, and are more likely to react badly to rejection.
Hugger Muggers were and still are a thing, and if someone came up to you offering you a hug on the tube or out on the street what would your first thought be? You wouldn't embrace them would you, so you're part of that society that has to have it's guard up because people will take advantage of situations that favour them. Such as making advances on women on trains because there's no easy way for them to escape the situation.
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the full note said ‘you should smile even if the worlds getting you down, a face as pretty as yours was not made to frown’
An observation and compliment that she has a pretty face but looked unhappy , nothing at all wrong with that
No nothing wrong with that, but the suggestion it should be happy is crossing a line, it's no longer an observation but an instruction.
Who here has left a note on a train for a woman if this is actually normal behaviour? I think most people would think it in their head and take it no further.
Soldato
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The fact that the note said count to ten before opening open says a lot, this was not a flirtatious message, just a friendly compliment to a fellow human being, I doubt they would ever see eachother again.
Leaving a note for a stranger on a train is a bit weird. (I asked my wife, she too would find it a bit weird even if the note was complimentary).
I don’t see it as an instruction as such, just a suggestion
It’s not something I’d do because although I don’t see it as weird I do see that some others such as yourself would perceive it that way and I wouldn’t want to be perceived as weird for leaving a note that at face value was harmless
Soldato
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*god
So you should never ask a girl out. You don't know how she'll react, therefore don't do it!
While i have never been inclined to leave such a note myself i can try and make a reasonable assumption as to what this persons intentions were after spending a moment thinking about it.
The guys obviously a bit socially awkward and wanted to make her day a bit better, he obviously didn't do a very good job of it despite his intentions. I think his wording could have been a bit better as I don't think it was his intention was ever to 'command' her to smile. The note rhymes well, which i can only assume was deliberate, this may have forced his use of certain words to make things fit. Leaving a note is probably the most passive form of communication I can think of, the recipient is under no obligation to read it and its entirely non threatening in its delivery. I also don't think this message could have been delivered as well if it was spoken by some probably very nervous guy and would have come across even more creepy.
He didn't say it too her face possibly for two reasons:
- Complimenting someone to their face may come across as they were making a pass at them, if this was never his intention then there's no advantage to doing this. If this guys not much to look at(likely) then you can bet she would be even more offended if she interpreted it that way.
- He was probably too shy to say it to her face, I think that was a good call as she would have just ripped his head off seeing as she felt it necessary to upload her story online.
Yes, i'm giving this guy the benefit of the doubt but the overwhelming majority of guys aren't predatory or perverts. There are also plenty of socially inept guys of which i can probably count myself as one of, this is also not a crime.
You can figure out if someone is attractive and/or their mood in a fraction of a second. He wouldn't have had to study the minute details of her face to come to this conclusion, 'glanced' would possibly be a more appropriate word, unless Jane suggested he was fixated on her.
I can say one thing for certain.... the guy is a far better poet than me
Are you sure that's what happened?
It's not news, it's a project called "The Social". Anyone in Scotland can submit a piece.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/33sSDDn9wxm3mYqfrg5h4Kv/about-us
Then you didn't read it.
What right does some random stranger have to tell her whether she should be looking happy or not? Why "should" someone have to smile whilst riding the train?
It shows a complete lack of empathy. The stranger had ZERO idea what was going on in her life. As i have said before in this thread, she might have just lost a loved one or something. Think then, how a random note telling you you should be smiling would make you feel.
It is just a completely unnecessary command to make to a stranger.
if You think it’s a command then you’re taking it far too literal
As for the rest of the stuff it’s just fluff, best not interact with people you don’t know ever, y’know just in case you hurt their feelings no matter how unintentional
You can interact with people. Just don't tell someone you don't know that they should be smiling, when you have no idea why they might not be smiling.
Or, you know, you can if you want, but freedom of speech doesn't equal freedom of consequence, so if they don't like that you told them they should be smiling, then tough.
You're dealing with people who are consummate pros at being outraged or explaining why it's legit for others to be outraged over the slightest little things.
This is what we've become
Injustice, racism, misogyny... it's everywhere! It's in the air you breath, the shoes you wear, the music you listen to. It's all racist, it's all the patriarchy holding women down and gender fluid people down. Don't they understand, we can't be judged by the organs we were born with. I'm a tree! I'm a squirrel! Stop oppressing me with your bigotry!
You're dealing with people who are consummate pros at being outraged or explaining why it's legit for others to be outraged over the slightest little things.
This is what we've become
The only outrage in this thread is coming from people complaining about her thoughts on it. One person for example claimed she had "gone postal". Others have gone full out with the whole "well how can any man ever chat up a woman again!" etc.
She certainly wasn't outraged. Her video was quite thoughtful and a measured response to what she thought about the situation.
The outrage and hyperbole is mainly coming from those criticising her video.