WWGDD?

I'd speak up, because it sounds like they're brewing a 7 year old psychopath there.

I get crying out for attention, envious of the baby, etc. but this stuff is indicative of future serial killer. Probably.
 
As a parent, I'd want to know. Just say it in a non judgemental way. "oh hey, I noticed your boy being a bit rough with the baby when you weren't looking and thought you'd want to know" or something to that effect
 
Dis86 said:
Evening folks!
In a bit of a moral quandary over what to do about something I saw today.
Basically next door neighbours have 2 kids. One who is 7 and a baby who is 18 months.
I've noticed the older one on a few occasions being more than a little rough with the baby when they think nobody is looking. I've seen them hit the baby. Pull a scarf the baby was wearing very tight. Pull the hat the baby was wearing down over their face. Luckily on all of these occasions the parents saw it.
Today however the baby was in a pushchair with a rain cover on. The older kid decided he wanted to use it as a punch bag and was putting his full force in to it. I didn't realise at the time the little one was in there otherwise I'd have intervened. It was only when the baby started crying that it stopped which just happened to be when the parents came out. The kid just stood there as if they'd done nothing.

Now's the problem. Do I tell my neighbours what I saw as I have a genuine concern about the baby? Or do I keep my nose out?

What would GD do?
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Tell them. Right now. If my child was behaving like that I would need to know. Just make sure you do it in private so they don't feel you're showing them up and begin it with, "I wasn't sure whether to mention this but I thought you'd probably want to know..." to make sure right off the bat they understand you're not coming from a place of judging them but an expectation they'd want you to mention it as a good neighbour.

But ultimately, your motivation here is to protect others from the child and you've an obligation to do that and I think from you posting this here, you recognize that. The question is not whether, therefore, but how to do it well. I recommend just keep it short and begin as I suggest above.
 
Devrij said:
As a parent, I'd want to know. Just say it in a non judgemental way. "oh hey, I noticed your boy being a bit rough with the baby when you weren't looking and thought you'd want to know" or something to that effect
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This, don't send a letter just keep it light and not judgemental. Don't come across as a busy body and you'll be fine. Also try and catch them when they look happy, this might affect their reaction.
 
Set up a 1000w sound system and stream the Gillette advert 24/7 showing the kid what he will become if he follows a path of toxic masculinity.....

OR

Just tell them in twenty words or less to their faces and forget about it. You did your bit.
 
Devrij said:
As a parent, I'd want to know. Just say it in a non judgemental way. "oh hey, I noticed your boy being a bit rough with the baby when you weren't looking and thought you'd want to know" or something to that effect
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Yea id go this way.
 
Dis86 said:
It was only when the baby started crying that it stopped which just happened to be when the parents came out. The kid just stood there as if they'd done nothing.

Now's the problem. Do I tell my neighbours what I saw as I have a genuine concern about the baby? Or do I keep my nose out?

What would GD do?
Click to expand...

Might have been better to tell them at the time, when they came out "Hey there, I think he was actually punching the baby there"

I don't think telling them is out of order, you're just raising a legit concern... normal parents would be quite grateful for you letting them know. If on the other hand they're chav scum and they kick off then perhaps call social services too if it carries on.
 
Well, spoke to them this morning. Just mentioned that the kid had been going at it hell for leather on the pushchair with the baby inside. They thanked me and toddled taking the little one for a walk.
I'll keep an eye out in the future though as the older kid is a bit of a sly one.
 
Why even tread on egg shells and "say it a non-judgemental way", there's literally a baby at risk of serious injury, yet people are concerned about feelings. Glad you spoke to them and I hope you explained how serious it is
 
Roar87 said:
Why even tread on egg shells and "say it a non-judgemental way", there's literally a baby at risk of serious injury, yet people are concerned about feelings. Glad you spoke to them and I hope you explained how serious it is
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In my experience parents can fail to see reason in these two circumstances.

1) Third party criticism of their child
2) Third party commentary which could implicate them as being bad parents.

Potentially this could be a pit trap into both.

The parents need to know but I agree that there needs to be some element of tact to avoid them blocking their ears.
 
Rifte said:
In my experience parents can fail to see reason in these two circumstances.

1) Third party criticism of their child
2) Third party commentary which could implicate them as being bad parents.

Potentially this could be a pit trap into both.

The parents need to know but I agree that there needs to be some element of tact to avoid them blocking their ears.
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That's precisely why I made the thread. Some parents do become completely irrational. Thankfully they seemingly took it well, just hope they took it on board.
 
Roar87 said:
Why even tread on egg shells and "say it a non-judgemental way", there's literally a baby at risk of serious injury, yet people are concerned about feelings. Glad you spoke to them and I hope you explained how serious it is
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Because how a matter is expressed can often be just as important as the message being shared and outcomes from there. Dis goes all ALPHA SORT YOUR KIDS OUT OR I'LL GYM ALL OVER YOU IM BENCHING 9000 is probably not going to get the outcome Dis wants. Dis choosing how to approach a really serious thing in a way that will be heard and actioned might get the outcome Dis wants.

C'mon man, I know you don't do subtlety but this isn't hard stuff to understand.
 
Rifte said:
In my experience parents can fail to see reason in these two circumstances.

1) Third party criticism of their child
2) Third party commentary which could implicate them as being bad parents.

Potentially this could be a pit trap into both.

The parents need to know but I agree that there needs to be some element of tact to avoid them blocking their ears.
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Yes but in this case a babies welfare is more important than a parents feelings, if the parents are letting their baby be hit by an older child and are seemingly not interested in being politely told that, then the next stop would be a Police station. The OP literally said the 7 year old was full on hitting the baby, this is potentially very serious. I'm not ignorant to how a parent may react, I just wouldn't particularly care.

[FnG]MUGnolia said:
Because how a matter is expressed can often be just as important as the message being shared and outcomes from there. Dis goes all ALPHA SORT YOUR KIDS OUT OR I'LL GYM ALL OVER YOU IM BENCHING 9000 is probably not going to get the outcome Dis wants. Dis choosing how to approach a really serious thing in a way that will be heard and actioned might get the outcome Dis wants.

C'mon man, I know you don't do subtlety but this isn't hard stuff to understand.
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Ok, but if you're telling a parent that their baby is potentially being abused and they aren't listening and are choosing to take offense then I'd speak to the Police and let them handle it. It's a very serious matter. It actually scares me how a lot of people in this thread are more concerned about offending the parents than they are about ensuring a baby isn't continually put in danger.
 
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So long as the information is communicated, I think using some finesse is fine. I'd only have a problem if it prevented the message being clearly communicated and OP seems to have done it fine. I hope the parents take it on board and take some action.
 
Get a airsoft sniper rifle, every time you see these things happening take a shot at the older kid, soon he will associate being mean to the baby with pain to himself and stop doing it..

*This could be a joke, will let you decide... :D
 
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