Seriously, NK don't want nukes, Iran don't want nukes, they want something to bring the worlds super powers to the table and stop just randomly deciding okay, we hate you so we're going to limit everything you can do in the world.
Does anyone think the leaders of either country genuinely want to get nukes then attack another country, you think they all want to die in glorious hell fire when they are retaliated against? Nukes, or the threat of getting them brings people to the table, it's how Iran got the deal they got which unfroze assets and started what could be a sequence of events that sees their trade grow and their country prosper. It's what NK wanted as well. Unfortunately we had general ********* in office and he completely 100% waste the opportunity to do a real deal with NK and he arbitrarily pulled out of the Iran deal setting back that relationship by huge amount. Even if the next president got them to come to the table they have so little reason to believe that 4 years later the next guy won't tear it up again.
What leaders say to brainwashed or religious zealots to stay in power, and what they would really do given the chance are very very different things. Ultimately Iran with a few nukes could take out a few cities, but they could launch pretty devastating attacks on Israel/SA without nukes before getting wiped off the face of the earth. They haven't now, they won't if they get nukes. Rhetoric is about control, nukes is about power, not about attacking the enemy. if they didn't care about being destroyed then they could have gone out in a blaze of glory long ago.
One of the main reasons the super powers fear such nations getting nukes is not that they themselves will use them, but that religious zealots will manage to steal one or countries with little money in desperation will sell nukes to a terrorist group.