Ex demanding to see my P60?

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Hello all,

I'll keep this quick, my ex and mother of my 10yo daughter is asking to see my P60 to get my end of year figures so she can then go onto the Gov maintenence website to calculate what I should be paying.

I don't have a problem with paying for my child, but giving her or sending a picture of my P60 seem's a little intrusive, we've never used CSA for payments, I've always been honest on what I earn and shes never asked to see my P60 before, she's recently remarried so I wonder if this is anything to do with it.

Anyway what I'm wanting to know is am I able to give my end of year details to the CSA or whoever it is and they can calculate the figure and then send a letter to myself and the ex. then there cant be any arguements about the matter. I find talking about money to the Ex is a little wrong and awkward I think the convo's should be about my child only.

Any help would be great and highly appreciated.

I've looked around online and I cant find a lot in what i'm wanting to know.

Many Thanks.
 
I agree with you that this seems very wrong but, to be frank, you'll need to talk to a legal professional to get accurate advice. Otherwise it's just the mutterings of internet laymen like me.
The big question for me ifs why she's suddenly decided to ask this now? I know my own ex-wife can make some really unrealistic demands but this seems odd, IMO.
 
I think if you use the CSA they take a % charge these days. Not sure if that's if they do the collection and distribution or for the calculation aswell.

My wife had 2 kids prior us getting together with 2 separate ex's. One had a very amicable relationship and made payments direct. I recall the CSA introduced the % charge a few years ago so we avoided the CSA to avoid the fees.

The other guy was a bit of a ball bag and the CSA ended up getting involved. I think the fees are only on the payer though rather than the receiver.


Might be worth ringing the CSA.


checjb said:
I agree with you that this seems very wrong but, to be frank, you'll need to talk to a legal professional to get accurate advice. Otherwise it's just the mutterings of internet laymen like me.
The big question for me ifs why she's suddenly decided to ask this now? I know my own ex-wife can make some really unrealistic demands but this seems odd, IMO.
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Presumably she think's he's now earning more and therefore should contribute a higher amount as it's % based. Some people can be spiteful like that, especially when kids are involved.


On a separate note,

I've always had mixed feelings on child maintenance. It feels like in some cases the non raising parent uses maintenance payments to make excuses sometimes. I've often heard comments like "i pay your mum money so shouldn't have to do anything else" when in reality it would be much better for actual parental involvement (not saying this is you OP). Also maintenance is there to cover essentials generally so hearing a dad (or mum) use that excuse to not treat the child is disappointing.

It's a fairly flawed system to me. We had the benefit of having a family unit with 2 adults working and receiving child maintenance on top of that.

I see the value of it where the parent raising the child is single and needs the extra support but in our case we were actually financially benefiting from my wife and ex not being together, whereas he was single and having to support himself on a single wage minus the child maintenance. For the most part we stuck the money into a pot for her to use towards a car.

I'm not sure what the fix to that is though. It seems right for the non raising parent to contribute towards the childs upbringing and i suppose there was no guarantee my relationship would work out so where does the line get drawn.
 
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Go find a legal professional.

The nicest person in the world will **** you over left right and centre if the person they are trying to please asks them to.

Your salary is of no concern to your ex wife.
 
It might be worth ringing them then I guess, we dont need collection or distribution as I have the payments setup through the bank so just calculation in this incase, but yeah it is odd, I've never tired to skimp out on paying for my child as I feel she deserves the money, I agree with the above comment that some ppl use CSA as excuse to not pay more then the minimum, I always buy my childs school uniforms and pay for school breaks / getaways as I dont want her to miss out. among other things.
 
Don’t give her anything(edit: as in paperwork) Seek legal advice.

I had to go through the courts to sort my maintenance out. And handed nothing over to my ex. The courts dealt with all my paperwork.
 
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Isn't there a calculator you can use to see how it might affect your payments?

If it doesn't change it much, what's the harm in providing the information. Not doing so makes it look like you are trying to hide your earnings, even if you are being honest with her.
 
VincentHanna said:
Isn't there a calculator you can use to see how it might affect your payments?

If it doesn't change it much, what's the harm in providing the information. Not doing so makes it look like you are trying to hide your earnings, even if you are being honest with her.
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I agree with this entirely, I'm not hiding anything and I almost sent her a picture of it, but then I thought it just seemed intrusive and thought i'd ask the forums here incase someone has had similer experiance.

Also every year for the last 7 years i'd tell her what I earnt for the year and we both used calculater to get the figure for the following year, if there was any difference from my figure to hers we'd both do it togeather, most of the time the difference was the amount of days I had my child. we've agreed id have her friday to sunday, and extra in holidays, but due to partys and pre arranged events, I might have her from sat till sun.
 
As already said, seek proper legal advice. Only other thing I could suggest is to scan it and redact any information you do not want "out there". I'm thinking things like NI number, employee ID etc.

EDIT: Just occurred to me she could just have received some "internet advice" to make sure that A) You're not lying about your salary and B) Not hiding some massive bonus. From her viewpoint its not unreasonable to make sure.
 
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peterwalkley said:
As already said, seek proper legal advice. Only other thing I could suggest is to scan it and redact any information you do not want "out there". I'm thinking things like NI number, employee ID etc.
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I've made an appointment to see someone at the Citizens Advice, should help me decide on best direction to go. I'd hate for it to get bitter between me and the Ex as we;ve been amicable up till now.
 
Do not provide her with a P60. Child maintenance is calculated on lots of factors, not just your end of year figure which can be effected by one or two great months etc.

I suspect that you are right that a new partner may be pushing for more money etc. Just ask her outright what she believes she is entitled to and try and keep it amicable. Make a judgement call on what she asks for. Make sure you do all this via text so there's a paper trail of you being reasonable.

Courts and solicitors are expensive. Avoid at all costs.
 
This is clearly an issue of trust but for me if you are already paying the right amount based on your income then whats the harm in her seeing your p60 you can always redact anything you want to hide. It seems like a pointless thing to sour a relationship with your ex over which will inevitably impact your child and could land up with a load of solicitors bills all over a piece of paper that says nothing more interesting than what you earned last year.
 
whatever route you take you'll end up disclosing your earnings in full anyway

invasive as it may seem your linked financially to your ex via your child for the next 8yrs minimum

there is a calculator online and if you've been paying correctly then you have nothing to hide
 
As above if you are paying the correct amount which a quick Google suggests is 12% of your gross salary including bonuses and overtime she will already know what you earn so providing the total on your P60 shouldn’t matter.
 
a1ex2001 said:
This is clearly an issue of trust but for me if you are already paying the right amount based on your income then whats the harm in her seeing your p60 you can always redact anything you want to hide. It seems like a pointless thing to sour a relationship with your ex over which will inevitably impact your child and could land up with a load of solicitors bills all over a piece of paper that says nothing more interesting than what you earned last year.
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I suspect your right and it's maybe just me thinking too much into it, anything would be calculated off the gov website anyway, but I'm being told from other sources that shes not entitled to see my P60 in the first place. and to jst let CSA or CMS or whatever they are colled now to calculate the figure,As I said in the OP talking about money is never a good thing it makes things awkward, so If I get get the figured calculated every year for us it saves hassle in the long run, as surely she wouldnt argue with the proffesionals.
 
Surely just go through CSA and pay the minimum. Then offer to go in 50/50 in some fixed expenses like school uniform etc... where you can either pay directly or get her to send receipts.

Then just pay for stuff when you have the kid(s) and contribute directly to say savings accounts for them for uni, future wedding etc...

I’d keep any thing that isn’t directly accounted for as low as possible via CSA, you want to ensure your contributions are going towards your kid.
 
VincentHanna said:
She probably isn't entitled to see it, but what harm is it really going to do if you are honest anyway?
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This, she almost certainly has no right to see it but what ever happens she is going to know what you earn so I can't see any harm in her seeing it, yes it is slightly invasive and not something you would usually want to be sharing with people but under these circumstances it's slightly different.
 
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