Speak Engerlish the Moggy way . . .

Status
Not open for further replies.
stockhausen said:
Jacob Rees-Mogg began his new role as the leader of the House of Commons by issuing a style guide to all staff members in his new office. His rules include banning his staff from using any of the following:
  • very
  • due to
  • ongoing
  • hopefully
  • unacceptable
  • equal
  • too many "I"s
  • yourself
  • lot
  • got
  • speculate
  • invest (in schools etc)
  • no longer fit for purpose
  • I am pleased to learn
  • meet with
  • ascertain
  • disappointment
  • I note/understand your concerns
when writing to other MPs and to members of the public.

All gentlemen unless "titled" must be referred to as "Esq".
Click to expand...

It's so tempting to reply with saying that I understand his concerns but consider his guide unacceptable due to it being no longer fit for purpose :)

I do understand his concerns and I'm sure there's a lot of buzzword bingo in his office, but I think he's taken it too far. Assuming any of the reporting is true, of course.

Oh yes, and we must use Imperial rather than Metric measures, so rod, pole, chains, perch, fathoms, furlongs, etc. will come back into "common" usage :D
Click to expand...

I have a simple solution to that problem. All Imperial units of distance are based on grains of barley, so we can simply use the base unit of "barleycorn" as specified by the royal decree which standardised English (and thus Imperial) units of length.

It sounds weird now, but it was a sensible solution at the time. Defining an inch as "three fat barleycorns" made it practical for anyone at the time to check measurements. Grains of barley are roughly consistent in size and the use of 3 of them averages out variations. The specification of "fat barleycorns" rules out unscrupulous vendors sifting through large numbers of grains of barley to find 3 unusually small ones. Barley was available very cheaply almost everywhere and won't rot for several years.
 
I have no problem if he wants to do this stuff himself and live his own life a certain way but inflicting this kind of stuff on anyone else is just wrong in every respect.
 
Rroff said:
I have no problem if he wants to do this stuff himself and live his own life a certain way but inflicting this kind of stuff on anyone else is just wrong in every respect.
Click to expand...

If he didn't get at least one kick in the plums at School i'd be very surprised, and disappointed.
 
In fairness to Rees-Mogg, by all accounts he is polite, considerate and moral - not qualities that one would ever associate with Bonker Boris.

I have no doubt that like all Politicians he cannot be relied on consistently to tell the truth. In Bonker Boris' case, every time he opens his mouth I assume that it is to utter an untruth, typically of monstrous proportions.
 
Gerard said:

A ******* Monocle...What century did this insufferable tit time warp from?
Click to expand...
Jesus wept. Is that for real?

I'm so beyond being "entertained" by morons such as him, Boris, Trump etc. For God's sake here is a man at the very seat of power in this country and he has argued against the right to abortion even in cases of rape. Vile, vile, vile man :mad:

Edit: Turns out he threatened the BBC for £12 for doing that interview. They paid up, because his father was vice chairman :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:
While people are suitably distracted talking about this non-story what is he up to in the background as newly appointed leader of the house of commons. Working towards frustrating the will of parliament to have a vote on any exit deal or non-deal perhaps ?
 
esmozz said:
The most utterly idiotic being the requirement to use imperial measurements.
Click to expand...
No it's the two spaces after a full stop thing. That's fine if you're using a typewriter, but word processors account for the full stop already. The number of over-50 bosses I've had to explain this to since I entered the workplace is maddening.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom