So having seen posts relating to Gucci belts, ugg boots and shaving your eyebrows I thought I'd see what genuinely stupid things we've all done to impress a potential partner. Things that have gone hilariously wrong or backfired spectacularly. I'll start.
So when I was with the ex (when things weren't so bad) she'd seen a bit of porn and she made the comment that she'd never seen a guy with shaved nuts in real life and it might be a bit of a thrill, the trap was set! Me being the absolute hero I am decided I was going to do it and that I'd surprise her a few nights later. So to the internet I went and discovered Veet hair removal cream for the bikini region, even went for the sensitive stuff not bothering to check the comments section, no not me I knew exactly what I was doing.
So there I am in the shower, the big night planned. When I thought, yeah I'm going for it. Read some of the instructions and proceeded to apply it liberally to the desired area. After all I couldn't afford a gardener. It actually felt kind of nice, a gentle warm tingling sensation that very quickly became the searing pain of unholy hell fire!!!! Running back over to the shower like John Wayne falling off his horse I proceeded to blast myself with a cold shower trying in desperation to get the stuff off... Feeling like my skin was burning off I opted for the only thing I could find a huge tub of Sudocreme and scooped pretty much the entire tub out frantically trying to make it stop. Fortunately it started to work. And so I hobbled into the living room and lowered myself on to the couch, my legs spread wide to give my boys some air.
And that's how she found me! Sitting there like I'd gotten amorous with a tin of White trade paint! Not even sorry... Suffice to say my plans for the evening didn't pan out.
So come on guys, spill the beans. This is a safe space!
So when I was with the ex (when things weren't so bad) she'd seen a bit of porn and she made the comment that she'd never seen a guy with shaved nuts in real life and it might be a bit of a thrill, the trap was set! Me being the absolute hero I am decided I was going to do it and that I'd surprise her a few nights later. So to the internet I went and discovered Veet hair removal cream for the bikini region, even went for the sensitive stuff not bothering to check the comments section, no not me I knew exactly what I was doing.
So there I am in the shower, the big night planned. When I thought, yeah I'm going for it. Read some of the instructions and proceeded to apply it liberally to the desired area. After all I couldn't afford a gardener. It actually felt kind of nice, a gentle warm tingling sensation that very quickly became the searing pain of unholy hell fire!!!! Running back over to the shower like John Wayne falling off his horse I proceeded to blast myself with a cold shower trying in desperation to get the stuff off... Feeling like my skin was burning off I opted for the only thing I could find a huge tub of Sudocreme and scooped pretty much the entire tub out frantically trying to make it stop. Fortunately it started to work. And so I hobbled into the living room and lowered myself on to the couch, my legs spread wide to give my boys some air.
And that's how she found me! Sitting there like I'd gotten amorous with a tin of White trade paint! Not even sorry... Suffice to say my plans for the evening didn't pan out.
So come on guys, spill the beans. This is a safe space!
thank god no one seems to have had the idea to use an epilator 