I think your expectations are way off. No one has ever said this was intended to be a milsim like Arma3. I get that it's at the lighter end of the realism scale, but its a long way off the speed running, snap shooting, 360 no scope, bunny hopping kill streak fest that is CoD.
I would suggest trying Post Scriptum if you want something a bit more hardcore, but even that is not a milsim.
Thats why I like Hell Let Loose, I remember seeing videos of Arma 3 8 years ago and thought wow that looks great, I immediately bought it on release, played it for about 2 hours, uninstalled and have never played it again. I realised then that the milsim genre simply wasnt for me, I quite simply just didnt find it fun. For me, shooters need to be in a nice mid-place between arcade and realism. Too much arcade like CoD and I dont enjoy it because its all rush here, rush there, shoot, die immediately respawn, shoot, nade, nade, nade, nade, nade, nade, nade, rocket launcher at some infantry guy, rocket launcher at some infantry guy, rocket launcher at some infantry guy, rocket launcher at some infantry guy, hide behind wall while health ticks up, rush, rush, rush.....well, you get the idea. But Arma taught me that I didnt enjoy the opposite end of the spectrum when too much realism results in 10mins of actual fun per 60mins of game (which seemed like a waste of time to me, especially when I have so many other games I can fill that 50min differential with). Funnily enough it wasnt only the games but also the communities that I didnt gel with, the CoD sort of community are...well...often toxic , and I too often found the milsim community to be a little OTT, like they were all wannabe real life soldiers or something doing the modern equivalent of playing war in the woods with sticks and taking it all way too seriously.
I find that Hell Let Loose sits nicely in between arcade and milsim and is just right for me. Its got a little bit more realism than a CoD game (enough to filter out the worst parts of the CoD playerbase) and a little more arcade than a full blown milsim (enough for me to find it more on the entertainment than realism scale and enough to filter out strange fellows who get irate if I dont use military terminology while speaking etc

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