Views on Technology with Kids

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kai

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Last night at a family BBQ, for many we had not seen each other in months so it was great to catch up.

A few of the family have young children about 5-8 in year ranges. The entire evening the kids were engrossed in their iPad and iPhone. Zero conversation, zero interaction with family they had not seen in a long time. The parents did not care as they are silent and could just be left to their own devices (literally).

From what I could see the kids were addicted to the screens, just trying to get them to look up was a challenge.

I foolishly made the comment (when home later that evening) with my wife that when we have kids, they will not have access to such technology or phones until they learn how to interact at a human level. We would be limiting screen time and they would not have a mobile phone until at least double digits in age.

Needless to say, this caused a bit of a reaction. Apparently, it’s not fair in this day and age as every other kid has them or you are opening them to being bullied as they don’t have what other kids have!

My career is focused around IT, Security and technology and being up to date with the latest tech and attacks etc. However, I did not have this luxury as a child, this tech was simply not available to me.

What are people’s thoughts on this? Do the parents among us on this forum disciple control? Are my views that of a luddite or has things moved on, this is the new norm for both home parenting and schools!

I do not have children, so i appreciate my views are skewed, and this might be normal for a quieter life!
 
Everything in moderation. Some kids prefer board games over devices, especially if parents join in and make them fun.
 
I think getting them used to new technology at a young age is perfectly fine and it will help them in the long run. However, when they are at social events you can't allow them to just sit on a phone for the entire time. Social intelligence is important unless you're some mad genius like Zuckerberg who can robot your way through life.
 
kai said:
Last night at a family BBQ, for many we had not seen each other in months so it was great to catch up.

A few of the family have young children about 5-8 in year ranges. The entire evening the kids were engrossed in their iPad and iPhone. Zero conversation, zero interaction with family they had not seen in a long time. The parents did not care as they are silent and could just be left to their own devices (literally).

From what I could see the kids were addicted to the screens, just trying to get them to look up was a challenge.

I foolishly made the comment (when home later that evening) with my wife that when we have kids, they will not have access to such technology or phones until they learn how to interact at a human level. We would be limiting screen time and they would not have a mobile phone until at least double digits in age.

Needless to say, this caused a bit of a reaction. Apparently, it’s not fair in this day and age as every other kid has them or you are opening them to being bullied as they don’t have what other kids have!

My career is focused around IT, Security and technology and being up to date with the latest tech and attacks etc. However, I did not have this luxury as a child, this tech was simply not available to me.

What are people’s thoughts on this? Do the parents among us on this forum disciple control? Are my views that of a luddite or has things moved on, this is the new norm for both home parenting and schools!

I do not have children, so i appreciate my views are skewed, and this might be normal for a quieter life!
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Depends really. I have two children and ive limited their youtube and they general just watch films with us. If they were at a party or similar family occasion i wouldn't let them have a tablet unless it was getting late and they were tired. If its during the day like 2pm or similar then id expect them to be playing with the other kids.

Remember these kids have been off school and more then likely with those parents for 4 months, 24 hours a day. Parents need that time off sometimes as well sometimes.
 
It seems odd to us because we're the generation that saw tech introduced. No future generation will have our unique perspective. The world won't listen to us anyway so there's no point trying to stop it.
 
I'd have ******* killed to have what these kids had at "boring" family functions when I was 5-8 years old.

When you are a young kid, a bunch of adults chatting for hours isn't fun, same with going to a restaurant really.
 
We were quite strict on this, set times and limits etc. However COVID-19 has changed this somewhat, with a lack of social contact with schoolfriends we've been a bit more lenient as groups of friends meet on Roblox/Minecraft for my 7 year old son, and Fortnite for my 10 year old son. I wasn't going to let him start playing Fortnite until secondary school, but it's actually been great for him to chat to schoolfriends on (I bought a headset). There were even a couple of kids who bullied him the last couple of years who have now changed completely and invite him to games and chat loads.

We don't take devices out though, especially not to social events/gatherings. Fine if one of the kids we are visiting has a console or something, but no tablets taken with us unless there is a long journey involved or a holiday.
 
VincentHanna said:
I'd have ******* killed to have what these kids had at "boring" family functions when I was 5-8 years old.

When you are a young kid, a bunch of adults chatting for hours isn't fun, same with going to a restaurant really.
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Ha, yes. I was like that as a youngster - if we had family or parents friends over I'd say hello and maybe chat a bit but I'd often go and hide out in my room or something like that.
 
When I was a kid the media was full of stories about how children then were spending too much time glued to the TV screen. Now my kids never watch TV.
 
kai said:
I foolishly made the comment (when home later that evening) with my wife that when we have kids....
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I think all of us who are parents probably said this. Then the kids come along and throw all those well meaning intentions out the window!

Do I limit my kids' access to technology (they're 12 and 9 years old)? Definitely - blocks on the devices with timers for apps and the devices themselves, whitelists, only approved apps, ISP level content blocking etc etc. We've been more lienient than usual during lockdown as it is one of the routes to speaking with their friends (my son on Fortnite, my daughter on something similar, can't remember what it is. maybe Roadblocks?).

However, your own kids are unlike any other human you'll ever meet with their ability to wear down your patience - it could be that their parents had just about had enough of them that day and were looking forward to some normal conversation with adults. Having the kids plugged in for the evening was a small price to pay for not strangling the little sods!
 
Congratulations, you just became your parents.

If they all had their noses in books and didn't interact with anyone that would be seen as a great thing.

Modern games are generally social games. Roblox, Fortnite, etc. During lockdown having these and WhatsApp have been a saviour for my 8 and now 11 year old for them to keep in touch with their friends and have a "normal" interaction with each other.

I think every parent starts out with the best of intentions that their kids will not have excess TV, gaming, sweets, snacks etc. But sometimes you pick you battles and if it means 10 mins peace you give them what ever the hell they want.

Remember how rock and roll was going to corrupt the youth?
 
I've had no problems getting my nephews engaged in other activities though they will happily spend hours on their hand held devices if allowed. The problem is all too many don't want to make an effort as parents etc.
 
Rroff said:
I've had no problems getting my nephews engaged in other activities though they will happily spend hours on their hand held devices if allowed. The problem is all too many don't want to make an effort as parents etc.
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See this a lot. I know you only see 6 people with their kids for a small part of the day, but I do wonder why people who just leave their kids with devices even want kids?

Guess overall times change. Just like our parents must look at us.

Must be hard knowing kids need to engage with tech to learn but balancing that with tech being everything in their lives
 
kai said:
Last night at a family BBQ, for many we had not seen each other in months so it was great to catch up.

A few of the family have young children about 5-8 in year ranges. The entire evening the kids were engrossed in their iPad and iPhone. Zero conversation, zero interaction with family they had not seen in a long time. The parents did not care as they are silent and could just be left to their own devices (literally).

From what I could see the kids were addicted to the screens, just trying to get them to look up was a challenge.

I foolishly made the comment (when home later that evening) with my wife that when we have kids, they will not have access to such technology or phones until they learn how to interact at a human level. We would be limiting screen time and they would not have a mobile phone until at least double digits in age.

Needless to say, this caused a bit of a reaction. Apparently, it’s not fair in this day and age as every other kid has them or you are opening them to being bullied as they don’t have what other kids have!

My career is focused around IT, Security and technology and being up to date with the latest tech and attacks etc. However, I did not have this luxury as a child, this tech was simply not available to me.

What are people’s thoughts on this? Do the parents among us on this forum disciple control? Are my views that of a luddite or has things moved on, this is the new norm for both home parenting and schools!

I do not have children, so i appreciate my views are skewed, and this might be normal for a quieter life!
Click to expand...

I'm with you OP, and it seems my mrs is with yours. My kids (9 and 11), along with all their friends are the same. Technology is part of their life.

I sound just like my dad, but they can work technology better than I can :eek:
 
413x said:
See this a lot. I know you only see 6 people with their kids for a small part of the day, but I do wonder why people who just leave their kids with devices even want kids?

Guess overall times change. Just like our parents must look at us.

Must be hard knowing kids need to engage with tech to learn but balancing that with tech being everything in their lives
Click to expand...

It has been a strange one with this lockdown situation - demands of modern living often don't allow enough for people to spend quality time with their kids and quite a few I know have really taken advantage of being able to spend more time with them but a small, but not insignificant, number make a big deal out of having to actually spend some time with their kids :( and you just wonder how or why they ever became parents in the first place.
 
Unfortunately Lockdown has meant we've relaxed the iPad time more than I'd like, though with both of us working it's hard to keep a 7 year old occupied constantly.
 
I used to be bullied and laughed at on non uniform day due to my unbranded clothes. For the first few years anyway.

So what your misses said I find quite weak and cringy to be honest.
 
I'm on the dense with it, I'd never let kids play on devices like that (min are only 3 and 6) but I do let my daughter have a few mins of tablet time during the week, mainly because she is stubborn (trust me you can't win arguments sometimes, she's the one that's 6). I don't think I'd let them do what the op has said, however I do remember as a child going to a BBQ with my parents friends and it was very boring so I can see why. I also echo the others post it's nice to have a break, I try to explain to childless work colleagues how draining kids are, I reckon a couple of hours of nagging kids is harder than going out to work for the day:p.
 
Smokey Deza said:
I used to be bullied and laughed at on non uniform day due to my unbranded clothes. For the first few years anyway.

So what your misses said I find quite weak and cringy to be honest.
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The ops wife you mean?

Surely you just proved what she said right? Unfortunately children are absolute ***** when it comes to things like branding and status. According to my nephew, not having the right phone would see you bullied nowadays.

In my day it was making sure you had "kickers" shoes.
 
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