Where do you aim when doing big boys' standing-up weewees?

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Caporegime
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Location
Warwickshire
  1. At the back of the pan
  2. At the front of the pan, near where you're (normally) standing
  3. To one side (state if preference)
  4. Straight into the u-bend water
  5. You draw a circle around the pan with your weewee
  6. Aiming into the bowl is for sissies; I paint the room
  7. What's a stand-up weewee? I always sit down like mumsy showed me
  8. I aim it at the pancake
Optimal splash avoidance is a key objective for me, so I normally aim to one side hoping that any splash is more likely to be lateral rather than straight back / out.
 
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This is actually nuts. I googled this yesterday at my grand old age. What is the answer?
 
Treat yourself and have a sit-down. Getting old. :D

Pub urinals are the absolute worst, not only do you get your own splashback, but there's also collateral damage from anyone nearby.

I always say to people who don't believe me, wear shorts in a pub toilet and find out for yourself. Obviously a bit difficult at the moment but technicalities...
 
Narj said:
Treat yourself and have a sit-down. Getting old. :D

Pub urinals are the absolute worst, not only do you get your own splashback, but there's also collateral damage from anyone nearby.

I always say to people who don't believe me, wear shorts in a pub toilet and find out for yourself. Obviously a bit difficult at the moment but technicalities...
Click to expand...

Always aim for the side, never the back.

Although if its an old pub that has one of those metal shared troughs, then you've not got much choice! If you aim for the back it splashes back at you, and if you aim for the bottom then it splashes your feet. If it's busy it's a no win situation here.
 
Stand up wee ??? Arrr yes I remember those - have no control now of the trajector so really it's 90deg in either direction.

The joys of being old.
 
Just LOL if you don't aim the sword downards to the pan, the lift sufficient to levitate your entire body over said pan and then you do a 360 to ensure base is safe.

Noobs.
 
big boy weewees?? lol standing up is for peasants. i proudly sit, read my phone or contemplate all the losers standing up getting pee spray all over themselves
 
This thread reminds me of

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Normally aim for wherever the bits of poo are stuck :p

Tbh I actually don't do that anymore just because of the amount of splashback my current toilet can generate. I usually do number 3, aim for the area just to the left or right of the water (maybe right more often due to the layout of the room), where its nearly vertical. Find this generates minimal splashback.
 
There's a point near the front to the side, just before the water level.

With my toilet I find it's the perfect spot to avoid splashback.

When I'm feeling especially adventurous I just go through the letterbox of whichever neighbour has displeased me.
 
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