That's the root of the problem with the bounced deliveries, once the order has been shipped and invoiced with the VAT included we are legally and technically unable to refund the VAT. The VAT situation must be resolved before the order is invoiced. Legally, the only way to refund the VAT after this point is to refund the whole order.
As I said, it's looking increasingly likely that customers outside of the UK (Northern Ireland should be sorted soon, if not already) will have to have their VAT refunded before goods are shipped and will have to deal with charges locally. If you are one of these customers and this is not something that you wish to do then cancelling the order is beginning to look like the only option:
https://forms.gle/KewUKDD7fQMu1div5
I assure you that this is not us being difficult. This just appears, right now, to be the ONLY way to get the couriers to accept these parcels.