Most pointless domestic appliance phone apps?

Associate
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I may be an old person but I've noticed lately that these seem to have become a thing. My router and central heating controller came with one, which is sorta, kinda understandable.

I was looking at pressure washers the other day and some of these now come with apps to change the settings. I really want to be fiddling with my phone while using something that squirts lots of water.

Anyone seen anything dafter?
 
Soldato
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I think you win with pressure washer.

I used to think oven but now I realise how convenient "Alexa, pre-heat the oven to 160" could be.
 
Soldato
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Smart Kettles. As it needs human intervention to fill the kettle!
Na you see I buy this too. 3 mins to wait whilst the kettle boils - allow that. "Alexa, boil the kettle".

Obviously you keep it filled whilst the teabag is doing its merry diffusion dance with the water.
 
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My toothbrush and washing machine both have apps. At least the washing machine one lets you make custom cleaning cycles, the toothbrush one is just pointless.
 
Soldato
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My toothbrush and washing machine both have apps. At least the washing machine one lets you make custom cleaning cycles, the toothbrush one is just pointless.
Ah yeah my Mum's does that. And you load it in via NFC so it isn't even really "connected". Very odd. I wonder who sits their designing their own wash cycle?
 
Soldato
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I think you win with pressure washer.

I used to think oven but now I realise how convenient "Alexa, pre-heat the oven to 160" could be.

When my friend told me he'd bought a smart oven he could control over WiFi, I laughed right in his face, and called him a mug. Then realised how useful it would be to be able to turn it on and start preheating while I was on the way home. Now I want one myself.
 
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What annoys me is there is no standard API or application framework, etc. lots of stuff uses some random badly written app which wasn't done in-house, sometimes requiring a backend connection to some informally hosted server to function, often with dubious roots in China, etc. with a good chance the whole appliance becomes useless if the app no longer functions.

Even for some of the more official stuff the way it is implemented a good chance that if the company should go under you lose functionality or the whole thing becomes useless, etc.
 
Soldato
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What annoys me is there is no standard API or application framework, etc. lots of stuff uses some random badly written app which wasn't done in-house, sometimes requiring a backend connection to some informally hosted server to function, often with dubious roots in China, etc. with a good chance the whole appliance becomes useless if the app no longer functions.

Even for some of the more official stuff the way it is implemented a good chance that if the company should go under you lose functionality or the whole thing becomes useless, etc.
Yeah tech decay is an immense problem. Loads of smart TVs have made several apps unusable/requiring tinkering due to a root CA expiring.
 
Soldato
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My tumble dryer has WiFi, I have no idea why it needs WiFi.

You can start the machine from the App but you have to be stood next to it to put the clothing in it…
 
Man of Honour
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What annoys me is there is no standard API or application framework, etc. lots of stuff uses some random badly written app which wasn't done in-house, sometimes requiring a backend connection to some informally hosted server to function, often with dubious roots in China, etc. with a good chance the whole appliance becomes useless if the app no longer functions.

Even for some of the more official stuff the way it is implemented a good chance that if the company should go under you lose functionality or the whole thing becomes useless, etc.

Thus ensuring that you have to throw away stuff that isn't really broken and buy more stuff to do the same thing (probably with even more spyware built in). So from a manufacturer's point of view it's a good thing. It's unlikely to change unless that change is forced.
 
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