Am I making too much of this?

ttaskmaster said:
TBH, I'd be more upset at the idea of everyone gifting £15 worth of cheap tat. That just perpetuates the cycle of £15 tat presents that only end up being regifted anyway or chucked away to landfill...
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did kids stop reading books, playing with lego, playdough/kinetic sand, jigsaw puzzles and other board games type stuff etc?

generally kids get good presents from family members and friends just give what they can afford which they think is useful and won't end up in the trash.

I've seen people gift fancy dress costumes too that probably only cost around £10 and the kids were happy as larry
 
Resident said:
Our daughter is now 5 and at school, making friends which is great, but inevitably the birthday party invites have now started.

She goes to her first birthday party this coming weekend, hosted at the home of the birthday child.

The Mrs has been out and bought our daughter's friend an 'inexpensive' gift & card & the gift has lead to a bit of a heated discussion between myself and the mrs.

She paid £15 for this gift stating it was on sale (I've seen the reciept). It's appears to be one of the special LOL Suprise doll series. Knowing that these things aren't that cheap I googled the gift and found that it retails at £90-120 (retailer dependant).

I've said, despite the purchase price, it's too much to be giving what will be seen as a expensive gift. I don't want to be giving essentially £100 to a child who's parents may not be able to afford such an expense.
I also don't want to be setting some kind of precendence/expectation that future birthday gifts for others will be as lavish.

The Mrs has just told me to stop being tight and that she paid nothing like the retail

Am I in the wrong?
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I think you are definitely right!
 
UPDATE:

Convinced the mrs of my point of view & she agrees that a quick chat prior to gifting is best way forward

To answer a question I see on many threads in some form or other and was posed in this one too:


hurfdurf said:
Have a conversation with the child’s parents about if it’s ok rather than a computer parts store Internet forum mayhaps?
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I asked on here in GENERAL discussion because I consider most of you as reasonable people with varying opinions and wished to poll whether my own opinion was skewed in order to see if I needed to adjust my viewpoint.
 
Resident said:
I asked on here in GENERAL discussion because I consider most of you as reasonable people with varying opinions and wished to poll whether my own opinion was skewed in order to see if I needed to adjust my viewpoint.
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you been on the drink early?! GD and reasonable people does not go hand in hand :cry:
 
We had the opposite situation recently and I had similar thoughts to you.

Our daughter got a gift off one of her school friends for her birthday. It was a squishmallow which retailed for around £50. The usual cost of gifts we receive and give out is usually around £10 per person.

I couldn't tell if they got it cheap, it was an unwanted gift, or of they were just particularly flashy parents. I hope they don't expect something of equal value in return.

My daughter brought it home from school so we never spoke to the parents of the child who have it to us. I wonder if they would have said anything? I'm definitely of the mindset that I would highlight that we didn't pay full rrp and there's no expectation for it to be reciprocated.
 
Resident said:
UPDATE:

Convinced the mrs of my point of view & she agrees that a quick chat prior to gifting is best way forward

To answer a question I see on many threads in some form or other and was posed in this one too:




I asked on here in GENERAL discussion because I consider most of you as reasonable people with varying opinions and wished to poll whether my own opinion was skewed in order to see if I needed to adjust my viewpoint.
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How did the conversation go? FWIW, I agree with your approach and would have did the same thing.
 
Dirk Diggler said:
How did the conversation go? FWIW, I agree with your approach and would have did the same thing.
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The recipient parents are ok with it. Mrs called them and told them she had found an absolute bargain but didn't want it to come off as spending too much. Turns out that they have 3 of the series already (apparently there are 5) and the one we have will make it 4 so it saves them a small fortune.
 
Resident said:
The recipient parents are ok with it. Mrs called them and told them she had found an absolute bargain but didn't want it to come off as spending too much. Turns out that they have 3 of the series already (apparently there are 5) and the one we have will make it 4 so it saves them a small fortune.
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Result. :)
 
ttaskmaster said:
Jeez... Kinda makes me glad we're poor. Everyone can afford more than us anyway, so we're not fussed!!
But then, we also have friends who aren't especially rich either, which is precisely why presents don't get opened in front of everyone else!!
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I have never been to a child bday where you don't open them in a group and enjoy the moment of joy of the children's eye lighting up from whatever is inside. They get that wonder and spectacle as they work through their pile of presents. Nobody has ever worried about the cost of what an individual has spent in our group of 8 or so child friends and between the family and such anyways the grandparents always outbuy everyone if that was a thing.

It is all just about what the child likes and getting stuff for them. To take way the opening of presents in a huge ball of fun and do the cake after seems like it is missing some of what makes the fun. Especially as I am meaning children in that whatever the child ends up with they all play together, get to enjoy and that. Feel sorry for a group of adults that struggle to let all the children enjoy this wonder at their age tbh.
 
At my daughter's 6th bday several parents put a fiver in a card and honestly she was more excited by that than she was any of the other presents that cost more. That's our new strat for non-bestie parties
 
Resident said:
The recipient parents are ok with it. Mrs called them and told them she had found an absolute bargain but didn't want it to come off as spending too much. Turns out that they have 3 of the series already (apparently there are 5) and the one we have will make it 4 so it saves them a small fortune.
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All good and dandy then :) that is good. Simple communication generally the easiest.
 
Curlyriff said:
I have never been to a child bday where you don't open them in a group and enjoy the moment of joy of the children's eye lighting up from whatever is inside. They get that wonder and spectacle as they work through their pile of presents. Nobody has ever worried about the cost of what an individual has spent in our group of 8 or so child friends and between the family and such anyways the grandparents always outbuy everyone if that was a thing.

It is all just about what the child likes and getting stuff for them. To take way the opening of presents in a huge ball of fun and do the cake after seems like it is missing some of what makes the fun. Especially as I am meaning children in that whatever the child ends up with they all play together, get to enjoy and that. Feel sorry for a group of adults that struggle to let all the children enjoy this wonder at their age tbh.
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Weird, I've never been to a kids party where they open them:cry:. People just take them home and do it there, possibly to avoid the awkwardness. Maybe it's a North/south thing:confused:.
 
Devrij said:
At my daughter's 6th bday several parents put a fiver in a card and honestly she was more excited by that than she was any of the other presents that cost more. That's our new strat for non-bestie parties
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They soon get clued into receiving money = choosing their present themselves. Even better, start rewarding their doing little chores around the house with some pocket money so they can save for what they want. Very effective way to learn about earning money and saving it.
 
Brace yourself - this is only the start. Wait until you go to the first "professionally hosted" party then everyone will have to do one. I would get in first if I were you 8-10 is about the perfect age.

I booked Mad Science for one for Jr's 9th I think, complete package inc. party bags and they looked after the "guests" for 2 hours. Most expensive, but relaxed party I'd held. I was first of the "group" to do this. I set the standard and never had to do it again :D
 
theone8181 said:
Weird, I've never been to a kids party where they open them:cry:. People just take them home and do it there, possibly to avoid the awkwardness. Maybe it's a North/south thing:confused:.
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Maybe? But two of our friends we see with children are Barnsley and Hartlepool and they deffo have done that too. Not sure how far North you are considering lol. But there never been any awkwardness as far as I am aware tbh. Have often found the children have their favourite and they generally the cheaper end. For instance a bunch of small cars compared to a big remote control one or similar.
 
I'm in Leeds with a 5 and 8 year old and never seen the kids open presents, they are usually dumped on a table and taken away.

We only spend £10 to £15 on a present, I like giving the Galp science kits or board and card games which will hopefully get use for a while. Me and the kids love exploding kittens so am gradually buying it for their whole class... :D

We had a joint birthday party recently, half the presents were plastic crap, I meant to keep track of who gave what so we could re-gift the rubbish to someone else. As I didn't it'll be going to charity shop instead. Such a waste.
 
CapitalOne said:
Brace yourself - this is only the start. Wait until you go to the first "professionally hosted" party then everyone will have to do one. I would get in first if I were you 8-10 is about the perfect age.

I booked Mad Science for one for Jr's 9th I think, complete package inc. party bags and they looked after the "guests" for 2 hours. Most expensive, but relaxed party I'd held. I was first of the "group" to do this. I set the standard and never had to do it again :D
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TBF Our daughter is one of the oldest in her class and when she turned 5 we invited the whole class to her party. A friend of our owns/runs their own softplay "arena" so we hired the entire place for the same price that they do kids parties. Food party games, party bags and the arena all included so as parents we just sat back and supped tea/coffee for 3 hours.

Whilst there a parent and child turned up not knowing it was closed for a private party. I didn't want to see a kid upset & you could see the parent was visibly stressed so we let em in.
 
I've had it where kids arrive with no gift whatsoever, not even a card. Had it where parents give a little too generously but mostly presents get opened up later after the party as they are all too excited and want to play etc. I've also had my kid go to parties where the "goody bag" contained literally small presents and must have been worth about £50 in itself, but that was a rich family and every kid went home with one so...
I tend to just go with the flow. At the end of the day it's about kids having a party. The parents make more trouble worrying about these things than the innocence of kids having fun.
 
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