Is my staff member "flirting" or just being friendly.....

Yeah she likes you mate, to be any clearer she'd need to have landing lights on the bed sheets. Just ask her out, I'm pretty sure you aren't the first person to go on a date with a co-worker.

To be clear, when she said "you're up early on your day off" read that as "I woke up and checked your status on Whatsapp, I obviously like you, please ask me out".

Look at Hitch over here, clearly got women all sussed out as always :D
 
So me and a staff member (I'm her manager) have recently started messaging.

[...]

Step away.

1. It's a terrible idea
2. There's probably an HR policy in place forbidding this, because...
3. It's a terrible idea

If you can't see why, then you probably shouldn't be managing people in the first place.
 
I think half the posters on here want you to have sex as little as they do so be careful

Dunno if you're deliberately ignoring the "she's my employee" part of this discussion or if you lack the ability to understand what this can do to someone's career but the possible outcome of sleeping with a coworker can be monumental. Career ending monumental.
 
Dunno if you're deliberately ignoring the "she's my employee" part of this discussion or if you lack the ability to understand what this can do to someone's career but the possible outcome of sleeping with a coworker can be monumental. Career ending monumental.

Yeah you'd probably do this thing where you don't actually tell people at work you're sleeping together
 
It really is that simple for you huh? Explains a lot tbf :D

The amount of risk aversion on here is actually staggering, I know this is a computer forum but you realise that in every day life a lot of co-workers do sleep with each other and date, right? This is actually a very normal thing. Maybe there's some specific scenarios you'd want to avoid it but in reality everyone's an adult, just keep drama away from the work place and keep things professional and in 99% of scenarios no one is going to care. I don't know why I have to actually explain that as I assume most people do operate in the real world, but apparently on OcUK you should specifically look for reasons to avoid having sex.
 
The amount of risk aversion on here is actually staggering, I know this is a computer forum but you realise that in every day life a lot of co-workers do sleep with each other and date, right? This is actually a very normal thing. Maybe there's some specific scenarios you'd want to avoid it but in reality everyone's an adult, just keep drama away from the work place and keep things professional and in 99% of scenarios no one is going to care. I don't know why I have to actually explain that as I assume most people do operate in the real world, but apparently on OcUK you should specifically look for reasons to avoid having sex.

Sex is everywhere. Successful careers aren't.


Not a difficult concept to grasp is it?
 
He's offered to take her for a McFlurry FFS. Somehow, it doesn't feel like the bank manager is taking his secretary to dinner here.
 
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Yeah you'd probably do this thing where you don't actually tell people at work you're sleeping together

Yeah, because you can ALWAYS keep it a secret, it's easy.

The mistakes I have seen people making in this area (and I've had to deal with the fallout) are many and varied. From the perennial, "he was supposed to leave his wife" through "She only got that promotion because she's shagging the boss", all the way to the holy grail of walking in on two employees having sex in a cupboard (leading to them both being fired for gross misconduct).

And the root cause is the same, they think they're too clever and they won't get found out.

There are plenty of other people to have sex with that you don't happen to work with. I don't think we're asking you not to have sex, just not in a situation or with someone that could adversely impact your career.
 
The amount of risk aversion on here is actually staggering, I know this is a computer forum but you realise that in every day life a lot of co-workers do sleep with each other and date, right? This is actually a very normal thing. Maybe there's some specific scenarios you'd want to avoid it but in reality everyone's an adult, just keep drama away from the work place and keep things professional and in 99% of scenarios no one is going to care. I don't know why I have to actually explain that as I assume most people do operate in the real world, but apparently on OcUK you should specifically look for reasons to avoid having sex.
Most folk on this forum have left entry level roles where shagging about was part of the employers proposition.
 
Well I wasn't expecting this thread to carry on as much as it has.

For what it's worth I've since kept my distance and not initiated any text messages, and not even so much as hinted to go out. She's been messaging, and then asking why I'm not replying as much.

I've since re-joined tinder, and focused on that the last day or so, less comebacks.....
 
You’ve snipped that off too soon. Did she text you first or did you text her that early?

She had text me at half 6 to apologise for falling asleep the night before. I messaged back saying there was nothing to be sorry about and she messaged that.

Deffo creepy if he is texting her early am and he is off work.
She is probably telling her mates what a scumbag her boss is lol.

As above I didn't message her that early. And after giving more thought have avoided starting any conversations to avoid that exact scenario.

"Oh my god, my manager keeps texting me"

It's different if she initiates the conversation. Which she has been doing. If I don't reply she says things like "Do you not want to talk to me anymore?!" "Have I done something wrong"

While I personally see nothing wrong with going out with someone from work, certainly not how certain individuals make out. Some are likening it to almost rape, paedophilia etc based on the responses. Has no one worked somewhere where a couple are there? How do you think they became a couple at work?!

I started this thread light-heartedly, I don't literally rely on internet forums to function in life. I just thought it might be interesting to hear people I don't knows opinions based on a snippet of messages.

But I want to keep this job, and want to avoid any comebacks, some women can turn on you. And also it could be uncomfortable. I already feel awkward as she's now asking me why I've gone cold.
 
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Nothing wrong with it at all, most are saying be cautious because of your situation and a possible bad break up, I wouldn’t let it stop me if I felt it had a chance of a real relationship rather than a quick hump and dump.
 
why I've gone cold.
Well.. why have you?

Your action of distancing yourself makes no sense. You are interested in her, she appears to be interested in you, and instead of asking her out you go cold?

All that will happen is she will find someone else to give her what she wants.

Ignore all the people in here that clearly have no experience with women who are telling you that because you work together you should drop it.
 
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