My mates mum is

m4rmite · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:01

Take her somewhere special.

Take her up the dirt track.

omnomnom · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:01

LabR@t said:
Milf?

I mean we are all wanting to know the answer so fair play for asking it

builder22 · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:01

Diddums said:
Does she occasionally get stuck in the oven / washing machine / under the sofa etc?

imagine getting stuck under the sofa

Ayahuasca · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:13

reilly · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:19

Is your mate called Stacy?

AiiR · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:25

Happy ending

booyaka · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:26

Cook some "Toad in the hole" or "spotted dick"

Chojin · 12 Oct 2022 at 19:35

A candlelit dinner wearing your best turtleneck jumper

glenimp617 · 12 Oct 2022 at 20:25

teenwolf said:
Such a fantastic cook she has taught me so much over the years even how to drive. she is now 49 and trying to work out what to give her for her 50th.

Any ideas

sounds like cook.....well done OP, well done :cool:

uber soldat · 12 Oct 2022 at 21:18

Buy her a "special massage device" for the nights when you can't smash her pasty

m@rty · 12 Oct 2022 at 21:29

Diddums said:
Does she occasionally get stuck in the oven / washing machine / under the sofa etc?

Sounds familiar

Thekwango · 12 Oct 2022 at 21:30

Malevolence said:
Get her a leopard suit.

The most messed up day of my life (UPDATED)

The most messed up day of my life. - UPDATED FIRST SECTION BELOW. UPDATE/SEQUEL ABOUT 100 POSTS DOWN. This has been the most messed up disturbing day of my entire life. Now, I bet some of you are thinking that I'm exagerating. Let me assume you, after you read what happened to me today...

forums.overclockers.co.uk

No matter how many times I read that I still chortle, whether true or not it’s awesome.

Chojin said:
A candlelit dinner wearing your best turtleneck jumper

And ONLY your best turtleneck jumper.

Nevakonaza · 12 Oct 2022 at 21:32

Take her out for a Meal, Although wouldn't recommend getting drunk. :cool:

DJMK4 · 12 Oct 2022 at 21:39

Send her my way

katie279 · 12 Oct 2022 at 22:02

Participant said:
Could this be the smuttiest thread ever on OcUK

This thread has shocked me to be fair - I thought it'd give me some ideas for an upcoming birthday.

Haven't laughed this hard for a while though, some hilarious posts, I didn't realise OCUK forumites were THAT bad.... !

Deleted member 77746 · 12 Oct 2022 at 22:02

Soapy Massage

Deleted member 77746 · 12 Oct 2022 at 22:05

uber soldat said:
Buy her a "special massage device" for the nights when you can't smash her pasty

teenwolf · 13 Oct 2022 at 17:32

Shes asking where she can get a polish sausage from

Deleted member 77746 · 13 Oct 2022 at 17:34

teenwolf said:
Shes asking where she can get a polish sausage from

Poland.

builder22 · 13 Oct 2022 at 17:34

Poundland