Crumpet and.... mayo?

[kindai]

GD, settle a dispute for me.

A mate just asked for mayonnaise rather than butter to have with his crumpet.

Now my gut instinct is that this friend is in need of an intervention.

Where do we start? Or, is this something weird you northerners do?

 

[bjorkiii]

Thump him in the throat.

 

[loftie]

Confiscate their crumpets and show them the proper way to eat them - with butter.
If they don't understand their error, confiscate all their crumpets from now on.

 

[Quartz]

On a hot crumpet mayo's just going to split, isn't it?

 

[Pigeon_Killer]

Ask him if he'd like to join you on a lads trip to Amsterdam then get him Euthanised.

 

[UTmaniac]

Give friend some chips to dip in mayo, while you savour a buttered crumpet.

 

[Efour]

poor guy obviously got fiddled with as a kid.

 

[robfosters]

Mayo on a nice bit of crumpet.

My mind has wandered into some very depraved places here

 

[tom_e]

Ask him if he'd like to join you on a lads trip to Amsterdam then get him Euthanised.

This is the only option.

Mayo... On a crumpet...I bet he wears crocs and lingers too close to playgrounds as well.

 

[Dis86]

he's an absolute savage.

 

[throwaway4372]

Acceptable toppings are:
Butter
Jam
Nutella
Cheese

Mayo is not acceptable. Unfriend immediately.

 

[uber soldat]

GD, settle a dispute for me.

A mate just asked for mayonnaise rather than butter to have with his crumpet.

Now my gut instinct is that this friend is in need of an intervention.

Where do we start? Or, is this something weird you northerners do?

Rumour has it that Jimmy Savile was the only other person in the world to like this.

 

[tom_nieto]

Tell them they need to leave at once. You can have no part in this heresy.

 

[Parsley]

GD, settle a dispute for me.

A mate just asked for mayonnaise rather than butter to have with his crumpet.

Now my gut instinct is that this friend is in need of an intervention.

Where do we start? Or, is this something weird you northerners do?

Ban him from life.

 

[GreatAuk]

Probably has some happy memories of playing soggy crumpet.

(yes, intervention needed, I've never heard of anyone doing that! )

 

[robfosters]

I can take a hot crumpet from behind without blubbing

 

[Feek]

This is how you serve crumpets.

Real butter, nothing else is acceptable. Salted butter is good.

Cook the crumpets, cut a thick slice of butter from the block. Place it on the crumpet.

Squash it down a bit so it melts in.

When you've eaten the crumpets, there should be butter on the plate from where it's soaked through.

Crumpets exist for one purpose, moving copious quantities of melted butter into your face.

@Diddums appreciated my toast. I think he'll appreciate this.

 

[Thekwango]

Your mate has been replaced by an alien or possessed. Either that or he’s just a duuurty *******!!

 

[ShiWarrior]

never heard of anything on crumpets except butter
but then again i don't eat them (very rarely, im not a fan)

 

[Dis86]

@Feek whilst that looks sexy as, watch those arteries man!