Crumpet and.... mayo?

alchal · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:18

Crumpets are crap.

Fact.

Move on.

robfosters · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:19

alchal said:
Crumpets are crap.

Fact.

Move on.

That statement is ban worthy

PapaLazaru · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:24

ShiWarrior said:
never heard of anything on crumpets except butter

Marmite (inc truffle Marmite)

peterwalkley · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:33

Its a slippery slope: He'll be wanting a Royale with Cheese next.

Chris Wilson · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:41

As a proper northerner I can state that they are called pikelets, not crumpets. Crumpet are totty where I came from

drakulton · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:47

Feek said:
This is how you serve crumpets.

Real butter, nothing else is acceptable. Salted butter is good.

Cook the crumpets, cut a thick slice of butter from the block. Place it on the crumpet.

Squash it down a bit so it melts in.

When you've eaten the crumpets, there should be butter on the plate from where it's soaked through.

Crumpets exist for one purpose, moving copious quantities of melted butter into your face.

@Diddums appreciated my toast. I think he'll appreciate this.

I take it you do have a defibrillator handy when you eat these?

arknor · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:51

I use butter and the crumpet bette be cripsy on the outside

MrRockliffe · 24 Nov 2022 at 22:52

Personally I prefer salad cream over mayo with crumpets

GlitterBalls · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:04

Isigny butter, bovril and/or cheese.

dave28 · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:27

i put crunchy Peanut butter on them when very hot and it kinda melts into the crumpet, or some type of Jam

Malevolence · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:31

Ther are only two viable options for a crumpet, those being butter or cheese. OP, your mate needs a slap.

arknor · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:32

Cheese on a crumpet tastes rank, It's like butting cheese on a croissant.

Maybe chocolate spread on a crumpet works though.

Rimsy · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:35

How to Crumpet:
Crumpets in toaster set to max, wait for them to pop up then set toaster to midway and go again. Borderline burnt but not burnt obviously.
Apply lightly salted butter immediately followed by a small amount of marmite followed by VERY thinly sliced strong cheddar. Crumpets need to still be hot enough to melt the cheeses.
Enjoy crumpet perfection.

tom_nieto · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:42

dave28 said:
i put crunchy Peanut butter on them when very hot and it kinda melts into the crumpet, or some type of Jam

This man knows the truth.

Marmite should be banned. I wouldn’t even suggest it be burned and used for biofuel as the stench would be unbearable. Perhaps blasted into space or encased in concrete and sunk to the bottom of the ocean?

Whitewater · 24 Nov 2022 at 23:45

kindai said:
A mate just asked for mayonnaise rather than butter to have with his crumpet.

Your only option is to cut all ties with this person, he is dead to you now. Move on.

inogen · 25 Nov 2022 at 00:12

melted cheddar.

fatiain · 25 Nov 2022 at 01:08

Your friend needs feeding into a wood chipper.

Feet first.

Slowly.

BUDFORCE · 25 Nov 2022 at 07:55

I actually quite like mayo it's got it's places, but none of those places are on a crumpet.

Feek · 25 Nov 2022 at 08:03

Rimsy said:
How to Crumpet:
Crumpets in toaster set to max, wait for them to pop up then set toaster to midway and go again. Borderline burnt but not burnt obviously.
Apply lightly salted butter

That's exactly how to crumpet, including the toaster times.

SixTwoSix · 25 Nov 2022 at 08:10

Crumpet cooked til it's a little crunchy, salted butter and then slather with marmite - heaven.