**The Mental Health Thread**

[Cromulent]

Thats a broad question, do you mean for hobbies or work?

Sorry. I should have been clearer. I have a couple of programming projects that I'm thinking of working on that will be open source with the intention of using that to bulk up my CV a little bit. I'm limited in what I can do but I think that would be something I can work on in the meantime. I'm curious if that is something worthwhile doing or should I concentrate on something else.

Being lost is definitely where I've been at past 2yrs, though it is/was all part of a bigger picture.

Can you provide more context on what timeframes and what personal investment you're looking at?

Feel free to PM/chat if need be.

In terms of timeframes I'll have to take things slowly. I'm basically just teaching myself what I can while trying hard not to stress myself out too much.

 

[The_Arbiter]

Have you posted in the employment section regarding if that journey is something your energy is worth the investment in?

Is the self pressure to perform the issue with stress?

 

[Rob_B]

Can you tell us what the options are and what your ultimate goal is? Are there specific roles you're looking at getting into?

 

[Cromulent]

Have you posted in the employment section regarding if that journey is something your energy is worth the investment in?

Is the self pressure to perform the issue with stress?

I posted this:

What do you think of this idea?

I'm looking for some feedback on an idea I had. I've been thinking about trying to start a charity / non-profit for some time now and think I have a reasonable idea of what I want to do. Basically the idea is simple. It works like Google Ads. Charities sign up to advertise themselves for free...

forums.overclockers.co.uk

I'm not sure that if I would class it as something worth pursuing but it is something I like the sound of. As for self pressure that is one of the things that stresses me out I guess.

Can you tell us what the options are and what your ultimate goal is? Are there specific roles you're looking at getting into?

I don't really have an ultimate goal. I just want to spend my time doing something useful.

 

[The_Arbiter]

I don't really have an ultimate goal. I just want to spend my time doing something useful.

That suggests self pressure to me, which is a good thing, but also a burden when you don't know where to direct the energy. If you say it's enjoyable learning the skills then all is well. Also learning additional skills with some experience in this aspect is certainly not a waste of time, like you say it will add to the CV.

I don't know the computer world very well, it just seems very doom and gloom with the layoffs and the employment threads on here, but there are also plenty of happy programmers on here also.

There's always Github projects that may want your help? I imagine some of those would be deeply fulfilling.

 

[Cromulent]

That suggests self pressure to me, which is a good thing, but also a burden when you don't know where to direct the energy. If you say it's enjoyable learning the skills then all is well. Also learning additional skills with some experience in this aspect is certainly not a waste of time, like you say it will add to the CV.

I don't know the computer world very well, it just seems very doom and gloom with the layoffs and the employment threads on here, but there are also plenty of happy programmers on here also.

There's always Github projects that may want your help? I imagine some of those would be deeply fulfilling.

Thank you very much. I'll certainly have a look on Github for things I could do. I'll keep writing notes about new ideas I have.

 

[Vita]

I’ve been feeling pretty bleh recently (boredom/lack of energy/stress?)

I find that I haven’t got enjoyment in a lot of things anymore. Tbf, it’s been like this for quite a long time. I have stopped smoking which may contribute to the feeling of dullness, though I’m not sure.

Has anyone ever felt similar? I’m sure I’ll come out of it sooner or later but I seem to find my self doom scrolling a lot of apps for the past week or so.

 

[Rob_B]

I posted this:

What do you think of this idea?

I'm looking for some feedback on an idea I had. I've been thinking about trying to start a charity / non-profit for some time now and think I have a reasonable idea of what I want to do. Basically the idea is simple. It works like Google Ads. Charities sign up to advertise themselves for free...

forums.overclockers.co.uk

I'm not sure that if I would class it as something worth pursuing but it is something I like the sound of. As for self pressure that is one of the things that stresses me out I guess.

I don't really have an ultimate goal. I just want to spend my time doing something useful.

Not within my wheelhouse I'm afraid, but I'm liking the desire to help others

I’ve been feeling pretty bleh recently (boredom/lack of energy/stress?)

I find that I haven’t got enjoyment in a lot of things anymore. Tbf, it’s been like this for quite a long time. I have stopped smoking which may contribute to the feeling of dullness, though I’m not sure.

Has anyone ever felt similar? I’m sure I’ll come out of it sooner or later but I seem to find my self doom scrolling a lot of apps for the past week or so.

I think you'd be surprised how common it is. Can be linked to a few things. Finding a desire to do something, anything, can be hard.
Try simple things like long walks, listen to a podcast or 3 while you do it and see how far you get?
Volunteer somewhere? Do you have a gardening club locally who do things like look after planters in your town/city? Join your local community council, they often know what needs doing locally.

 

[Mark A]

I finally got some help with my mental health as I was getting to the point of wanting to give up. My anxiety and depression has been slowly getting worse over the last 10 years and then in the last 3 it has got to the point where I hardly leave the house due to recent life events.

I got a phone appointment with my GP who asked about the issues leading up to it and prescribed me some meds for depression that he said should also help with the social anxiety. I have been taking them for about 5 weeks now after getting the dose doubled after a month and so far I am not noticing much difference in my social anxiety. I think its helping with my depression as I'm feeling a bit more positive and have that feeling of wanting to go out and do stuff again. Then I spoke to the health centres mental health practitioner who told me to self enrol for talking therapy. Does all that sound right, or is there anything else I should be doing? I don't seem to have had any sort of diagnosis or anything.

 

[The_Arbiter]

I’ve been feeling pretty bleh recently (boredom/lack of energy/stress?)

I find that I haven’t got enjoyment in a lot of things anymore. Tbf, it’s been like this for quite a long time. I have stopped smoking which may contribute to the feeling of dullness, though I’m not sure.

Has anyone ever felt similar? I’m sure I’ll come out of it sooner or later but I seem to find my self doom scrolling a lot of apps for the past week or so.

A connection could be that giving up smoking leads to more energy, but with nowhere to channel that energy, anger can form, and from that you can get depression. It's not a necessarily what's happening, but it can be a contributor. That's speaking from experience in that one.

I don't social media in the traditional sense, and it's positive for me. I find it difficult to pin down what makes a difference and what doesn't, but acknowledging it is a starting point.

I finally got some help with my mental health as I was getting to the point of wanting to give up. My anxiety and depression has been slowly getting worse over the last 10 years and then in the last 3 it has got to the point where I hardly leave the house due to recent life events.

I got a phone appointment with my GP who asked about the issues leading up to it and prescribed me some meds for depression that he said should also help with the social anxiety. I have been taking them for about 5 weeks now after getting the dose doubled after a month and so far I am not noticing much difference in my social anxiety. I think its helping with my depression as I'm feeling a bit more positive and have that feeling of wanting to go out and do stuff again. Then I spoke to the health centres mental health practitioner who told me to self enrol for talking therapy. Does all that sound right, or is there anything else I should be doing? I don't seem to have had any sort of diagnosis or anything.

That's textbook for NHS, but I do believe there is varying drugs that work differently, some can help with anxiety, others make it worse. Others here will be far more knowledgeable on that than me. Just be honest with the talking therapies, otherwise you could be waiting for something that won't help. Private therapy can be worth the investment, many will do a free consultation. https://www.bacp.co.uk/

 

[RedMogg]

Just poking my head above the parapet - lots going on at the moment; which I'm finding pretty overwhelming:

This week can suck it.
Dad told us on Monday he's got prostate cancer (6 weeks before he's due to retire). He's putting on a brave face, but it's the first time I've ever seen him rattled/scared.

Mother-in-law had an aneurysm/stroke yesterday morning, giving her global amnesia; when she asked when her husband was getting to the hospital, my Wife had to break it to her that he died two years ago and watch her heart break all over again.

They spent all of yesterday and through the night in the A&E waiting room, as there were zero ward beds available until 2pm this afternoon... My wife got home at 8am, slept for 5 hours then went straight back to the hospital.

Mum's been fighting stage 4 lung cancer since 2012, when she was given 6 months.
We've counted every extra month since as a blessing, but we knew there'd be a point when the cancer would spread. It's now in her spine & brain.

I've spent the last 24 hours getting on top of housework and trying to answer the million questions our kids are asking, so my Wife can just focus on being there for her mum.

I understand the statistical inevitability that the older we get, the sooner someone close is getting a visit from the Cancer Fairy, but my autistic brain is seriously struggling right now.

Not looking for sympathy, as I'm aware we all have woes and heartache. Just needed somewhere to vent.

Have dropped an email to my GP asking for an increase to my Mirtazipine and pulled out my notes from my EMDR/CBT sessions, to see if there's anything useful for right now.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Took myself home early from work yesterday and booked a GP appointment for this morning. Emailed my boss I'm unlikely to be in Monday. Long story short I've been overstretched for 2 years and we have building works in my office - it turns out these were not planned, as agreed, so that we could work around the builders. So for a week I've been thinking "Which room is the one they are keeping clear so we can work?" Turns out we were just "in the way" and my "office manager" (who's never worked in this location before these works began) didn't negotiate it.

Spoke to Dr - agreed to take a 1 week sick note, for work related stress. The first week off you don't need one, but I decided to make a commitment else I'll be trying to weasel back into work by midweek.

I can get up to 3x sick notes, for up to 2 weeks each apparently. So I'm going to take this week off, make an assessment after that about going back, consider counselling, etc.

Mostly just going to *stop* for a few days and see what happens next.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Just poking my head above the parapet - lots going on at the moment; which I'm finding pretty overwhelming:



Have dropped an email to my GP asking for an increase to my Mirtazipine and pulled out my notes from my EMDR/CBT sessions, to see if there's anything useful for right now.

It does sound like you've got a lot going on at once. It also sounds like you have a plan and are taking action already, which is brilliant

I've found that when you do stuff like CBT and actively work on skills for coping, it gets easier and easier for them to kick in quickly when stuff goes south. Personally I have left it too long without any practise or new learning.

 

[RedMogg]

It does sound like you've got a lot going on at once. It also sounds like you have a plan and are taking action already, which is brilliant

I've found that when you do stuff like CBT and actively work on skills for coping, it gets easier and easier for them to kick in quickly when stuff goes south. Personally I have left it too long without any practise or new learning.

Things are a little better now Mum's been discharged home, although there'll be added pressure on my Wife to sort out home care for her. My sister-in-law lives literally in the adjacent road to her, but there's not a chance in hell she'll lift a finger to help...

Typically, it happened during half term, so the kids have been climbing the walls - we managed to take them out bowling & for dinner yesterday, which they enjoyed.

I'm now planning a couple of trips: taking my youngest to London for the Tutunkhamun Experience at Excel next week and my son to Thruxton in June.
And the Wife is pushing me to sort dates to go out to Thailand and catch up with my friends - so hopefully I'll get out there for either New Years, or Songkran in April (or both if I say Effit and find decently priced flights).

I find my mental health improves a lot when I have something to work towards/look forward to.

 

[The_Arbiter]

Anyone got any tips on how to sleep better, short term?

I feel i'd ask here instead of GD. I've never had issues with sleeping in the past (jt was always too much sleeping was the issue), up untill recent years. I've not tried sleep aids before.

The consensus on pills seems they won't touch anxiety, and given my brain likes to think, i'm worried about taking such things. I'm also fit and slim.

Any, even minor, input?

Does getting up and doing something to have a break from sleep even work?

 

[Nutty667]

Anyone got any tips on how to sleep better, short term?

I feel i'd ask here instead of GD. I've never had issues with sleeping in the past (jt was always too much sleeping was the issue), up untill recent years. I've not tried sleep aids before.

The consensus on pills seems they won't touch anxiety, and given my brain likes to think, i'm worried about taking such things. I'm also fit and slim.

Any, even minor, input?

Does getting up and doing something to have a break from sleep even work?

I'm normally a good sleeper, but had a few restless nights of late.

Make sure you avoid screens an hour before bed. I recommend Clipper Sleep infusion tea. It really works wonders on me. A bath with magnesium salts before bed too, also get some exercise in the day. When I hit the gym I always sleep better.

 

[MookJong]

Anyone got any tips on how to sleep better, short term?

I feel i'd ask here instead of GD. I've never had issues with sleeping in the past (jt was always too much sleeping was the issue), up untill recent years. I've not tried sleep aids before.

The consensus on pills seems they won't touch anxiety, and given my brain likes to think, i'm worried about taking such things. I'm also fit and slim.

Any, even minor, input?

Does getting up and doing something to have a break from sleep even work?

What time do you eat in the evening normally and what time do you go to bed? Have you tried falling asleep to an audiobook?

Do not get up in the night, you will simply lock yourself into a new routine of your body thinking you need to get up at a certain time and you will break your normal sleep pattern.

 

[The_Arbiter]

I recommend Clipper Sleep infusion tea. It really works wonders on me.

Will try it! thanks. Exercise has little effect on me with tiredness sadly. But I'm not at work today so will hopefully go for a walk later.

What time do you eat in the evening normally and what time do you go to bed? Have you tried falling asleep to an audiobook?

Do not get up in the night, you will simply lock yourself into a new routine of your body thinking you need to get up at a certain time and you will break your normal sleep pattern.

Generally I am hungry when I go to bed, and I eat several hours before bed due to stomach issues. Falling to sleep isn't an issue initially, I tend to wake 3hrs after and toss and turn forever. I feel you are correct about getting up, hence avoiding it, but all the (official) advice says to get up and read a book.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Anyone got any tips on how to sleep better, short term?

I feel i'd ask here instead of GD. I've never had issues with sleeping in the past (jt was always too much sleeping was the issue), up untill recent years. I've not tried sleep aids before.

The consensus on pills seems they won't touch anxiety, and given my brain likes to think, i'm worried about taking such things. I'm also fit and slim.

Any, even minor, input?

Does getting up and doing something to have a break from sleep even work?

Personally what's worked for me -

Routine. Toilet, brush teeth, pyjamas, in bed, set alarms, music on. I do use my phone in bed but all of the above tells me it's sleep time. The music really helps, probably the most important thing for me.

Get as tired as you can. I fall asleep fastest when I have been physically active, whether it's exercise (rarely) or just a busy day. I'm assuming getting up early helps here but I'm not a morning person. However if I'm working early it helps.

Mindfulness/progressive muscle relaxation exercises to clear your mind and settle into rest. I haven't needed these for a bit but it worked like magic when I learned them. You individually focus on the sensation of, or tense, parts of your body progressing from head down to toes. I find it keeps my mind just engaged enough to not stray, but not active enough to keep awake.

Slowing my breathing. Off the back of the mindfulness above, I have learned to just... Breathe slower. If my mind wanders and I breathe normally, just bring it back and breathe slower again. Again I find this is just enough concentration to engage me and stop my thoughts spinning up again.

I am caffeine free right now but in the past I've tried loads of caffeine, caffeine before 1pm/6pm, just one drink a day... Not sure if caffeine free is helping or I just have better habits. God I miss proper tea and coffee though.

 

[The_Arbiter]

What's the general consensus on ringing a helpline to talk? I haven't tried it before as unsure who are the right people to ring, but my brain is melted and I have no one to release to.