**The Mental Health Thread**

RedMogg said:
Monstrous week - not playing the "U ok Hun" game, but just wanted to give a shout-out to @LuckyBenski for answering my uninvited DM.

I've mostly managed to keep it together at home, so my wife can support her side of the family, but Benski allowed me to vent/shout into the void when I needed.

Thank you.
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Glad to know I could help :) We can't do everything alone, that's why this thread is valuable.
 
RedMogg said:
Been on Mirtazipine for just over 2 years - I did gain weight; I don't think it was the medication entirely to blame, but the fact that I got enjoyment out of food again.

I started Mounjaro in January and have lost nearly 3st (also using Huel/Yfoods meal replacement shakes for breakfast).

Can also highly recommend CBT - I started talking therapy in 2019/20 with an excellent counsellor. It took me quite a while to begin feeling anywhere close to comfortable sharing my traumas, but once I did, she really helped me process and unpack the mess in my head.

After lockdown ended, I was able to attend in-person and started EMDR therapy, to help me focus on the specific moments responsible for my PTSD.

My only goal from therapy was to be able to share what I'd been through with my Wife - I'd only ever given her snippets during huge, angry meltdowns. I didn't have the tools to calmly unpack and describe things, without getting worked up.

CBT/EMDR genuinely saved my marriage and my life.

Try and stick at it, as hard as it will feel.
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I don't really say much, but wanted to know how long it took? Personally, I need to move environment hence the changing of country which is one of many other reasons for the move.

I decided I need a new scenery and new way of life. I have to spoken to a few people, they emigrated for similar reasons and said it really helps.

I thought I'd try it, as what I am doing now does not seem to work.

I have noticed that smaller and smaller things trigger me now, it feels like it is accumulating.
I think it best to try than not try. I am lucky I am in a position where I can and over the last year been thinking, I have the means etc to do this why not.
So now I am taking the jump.

Some say it running away, yes it could be, but Maybe it would help reduce it. I have private insurance and had talking therapy, but If feels part of my brain does not want to engage.
 
Tram said:
*snip*
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I appreciate you're after a more detailed response, but I'm not in the right headspace now. My sister-in-law was murdered last week and we're just trying to keep it together and deal with the shock.

I will say therapy is not a fast process. You'll very slowly start to find verbalising feelings and thoughts easier and less triggering, but it takes effort and courage.

Try to stick at it - you'll feel worse, drained, ashamed before it becomes less hurtful to open up. You'll be given tools to use to remove yourself from the raw emotions of reliving the trauma and these will start to become second nature.

I've been leaning on a lot of displacement behaviours this past week (hand rhythms, EMDR and deep breathing), so I can deal with the more traumatic parts of the investigation, so my Wife and her family don't have to.

I wish you the best - when I'm better positioned to offer advice, I'll get in touch.
 
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RedMogg said:
I appreciate you're after a more detailed response, but I'm not in the right headspace now. My sister-in-law was murdered last week and we're just trying to keep it together and deal with the shock.

I will say therapy is not a fast process. You'll very slowly start to find verbalising feelings and thoughts easier and less triggering, but it takes effort and courage.

Try to stick at it - you'll feel worse, drained, ashamed before it becomes less hurtful to open up. You'll be given tools to use to remove yourself from the raw emotions of reliving the trauma and these will start to become second nature.

I've been leaning on a lot of displacement behaviours this past week (hand rhythms, EMDR and deep breathing), so I can deal with the more traumatic parts of the investigation, so my Wife and her family don't have to.

I wish you the best - when I'm better positioned to offer advice, I'll get in touch.
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Thanks.
When I emigrate I'll probably live alone, regain my life.
I feel suffocated and trapped in the UK. I don't have money worries just everything else worries me..
 
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The past 10 days have been a bit of a blur - getting a phonecall no one ever expects to receive in the early hours of the morning:

www.mirror.co.uk

'Murder' probe launched as mum found dead and police hunt for gold suitcase

The body of Samantha Murphy, 32, was found dead inside a property in Portsmouth this week - two 32-year-old men have been arrested on suspicion of murder
www.mirror.co.uk www.mirror.co.uk

We're pulling together as a family to support Mum and Sam's three young children, whilst we try to figure out what the future holds.

I've been holding down the fort at home, whilst my wife takes lead in dealing with the fallout.

Mentally, I'm exhausted but okay. Angry and guilty that I didn't do more to protect them.

My amazing Wife has been holding it together whilst sorting funeral arrangements and all the other impossible stuff, but I can tell she's struggling.

Leaning heavily on all the tools I learned through 2 years of trauma counselling, CBT & EMDR, but there's not really any words of comfort that can help make sense of what we're all feeling.
 
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RedMogg said:
The past 10 days have been a bit of a blur - getting a phonecall no one ever expects to receive in the early hours of the morning:

www.mirror.co.uk

'Murder' probe launched as mum found dead and police hunt for gold suitcase

The body of Samantha Murphy, 32, was found dead inside a property in Portsmouth this week - two 32-year-old men have been arrested on suspicion of murder
www.mirror.co.uk www.mirror.co.uk

We're pulling together as a family to support Mum and Sam's three young children, whilst we try to figure out what the future holds.

I've been holding down the fort at home, whilst my wife takes lead in dealing with the fallout.

Mentally, I'm exhausted but okay. Angry and guilty that I didn't do more to protect them.

My amazing Wife has been holding it together whilst sorting funeral arrangements and all the other impossible stuff, but I can tell she's struggling.

Leaning heavily on all the tools I learned through 2 years of trauma counselling, CBT & EMDR, but there's not really any words of comfort that can help make sense of what we're all feeling.
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Oh, that is awful. So sorry to hear that. I'm not sure I can help but I wish you all the best.
 
RedMogg said:
The past 10 days have been a bit of a blur - getting a phonecall no one ever expects to receive in the early hours of the morning:

www.mirror.co.uk

'Murder' probe launched as mum found dead and police hunt for gold suitcase

The body of Samantha Murphy, 32, was found dead inside a property in Portsmouth this week - two 32-year-old men have been arrested on suspicion of murder
www.mirror.co.uk www.mirror.co.uk

We're pulling together as a family to support Mum and Sam's three young children, whilst we try to figure out what the future holds.

I've been holding down the fort at home, whilst my wife takes lead in dealing with the fallout.

Mentally, I'm exhausted but okay. Angry and guilty that I didn't do more to protect them.

My amazing Wife has been holding it together whilst sorting funeral arrangements and all the other impossible stuff, but I can tell she's struggling.

Leaning heavily on all the tools I learned through 2 years of trauma counselling, CBT & EMDR, but there's not really any words of comfort that can help make sense of what we're all feeling.
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it is good you have a caring partner, that can take assist.

I found the NHS pretty bad in my area, I had to go private. We are going down the therapy route of evidence thinking.
Lately I have been waking up feeling anxious.

I think once you have been hit with mental health, I don't think you can fully recover.
 
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Today is the start of week 3 off work with stress. Honestly feel like I'm just sitting doing nothing. I know I need to rest but I feel unable to do anything beyond sit on the sofa and scroll my phone/watch YouTube.

I am slowly getting bits started like preparing my car for MOT and planning DIY jobs. But it's very very gradual.

I need to follow up on talking therapy and will likely make executive function the first topic.
 
LuckyBenski said:
Today is the start of week 3 off work with stress. Honestly feel like I'm just sitting doing nothing. I know I need to rest but I feel unable to do anything beyond sit on the sofa and scroll my phone/watch YouTube.

I am slowly getting bits started like preparing my car for MOT and planning DIY jobs. But it's very very gradual.

I need to follow up on talking therapy and will likely make executive function the first topic.
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Don't get me started on lists...

...particularly "The Master List, v9.44".

Just pick one thing you *want* to achieve, work backwards in the steps needed to get there, until you hit Step 1, then nail that bugger and celebrate it.

Each step after becomes easier, I swear.
 
RedMogg said:
Don't get me started on lists...

...particularly "The Master List, v9.44".

Just pick one thing you *want* to achieve, work backwards in the steps needed to get there, until you hit Step 1, then nail that bugger and celebrate it.

Each step after becomes easier, I swear.
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This is exactly what I'm struggling with - I have no idea what to do. There's a million unfinished or unstarted tasks and I don't know what is job number 1. Anything obvious like taking bins out, washing, cleaning, and work I can do. But home improvement and sorting the mess out seems impossible. I'm trying to have a list just for "tomorrow" at the moment, it's working... A bit.
 
Ok, time for some tough love then :D

Give me 5 things on your list of a smallish nature, I will tell you what to do and I want photographic evidence :)
 
Rob_B said:
Ok, time for some tough love then :D

Give me 5 things on your list of a smallish nature, I will tell you what to do and I want photographic evidence :)
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I will humour you but my procrastination knows no bounds :P

Here is the list that I tell myself is a day's worth (or in the next couple of days timeframe):

MOT prep
Book MOT
Write spreadsheet of renovation jobs
Drill drainage holes in car
Seal leaking window
Work out solution for leaking toilet cistern
Call therapy line
 
LuckyBenski said:
I will humour you but my procrastination knows no bounds :P

Here is the list that I tell myself is a day's worth (or in the next couple of days timeframe):

MOT prep
Book MOT
Write spreadsheet of renovation jobs
Drill drainage holes in car
Seal leaking window
Work out solution for leaking toilet cistern
Call therapy line
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Seems like a decent list but I can't drive so no idea what the car stuff entails :D.
 
Call therapy line

^ Is this is the one you're avoiding by making a big list of everything else?

If it's dry weather then seal your window, it's easy, it doesn't take that long as I'm assuming you already have what you need so can be done with no other jobs being added to the list like "go and buy sealant" ?
 
Rob_B said:
Call therapy line

^ Is this is the one you're avoiding by making a big list of everything else?
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That's technically new as I got the referral email a week ago but forgot about it (ADHD yo). In fact forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing/which job I'm halfway through is a big factor in the slow process. Everything is equally avoided and forgotten about, I'd say.

Rob_B said:
If it's dry weather then seal your window, it's easy, it doesn't take that long as I'm assuming you already have what you need so can be done with no other jobs being added to the list like "go and buy sealant" ?
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I believe I've got what I need but I need to clear all the crap in that room to get to it comfortably. In other words I can theoretically do it but might get bogged down halfway by mess and/or unexpected roadblocks like not being able to get the window out of the frame. But I won't know til I try and start.
 
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