OcUK Dadsnet thread

[Haggisman]

I was asked the other week by one of these goblins at work when my wife and I would be having another baby - a strange request anyway to know when my wife and I would be rawdogging it - but doesn't come from a place of care, it's just her being a nosey troll.

I find the best way to deal with these people is to embrace the embarrassment and uncomfortableness, and go into as much personal detail as possible (it doesn't matter if it's true or not), e.g.

"we're actually trying at the moment, we're at it like rabbits - been trying all these new positions, she loves it when <XYZ>, have you tried that, you really should! I can recommend you some videos if you want, but no seriously, she could barely walk the other day afterwards!"

The more gory details the better, I guarantee you she won't ask again!

 

[ci_newman]

I find the best way to deal with these people is to embrace the embarrassment and uncomfortableness, and go into as much personal detail as possible (it doesn't matter if it's true or not), e.g.

"we're actually trying at the moment, we're at it like rabbits - been trying all these new positions, she loves it when <XYZ>, have you tried that, you really should! I can recommend you some videos if you want, but no seriously, she could barely walk the other day afterwards!"

The more gory details the better, I guarantee you she won't ask again!

This is terrible advice for a workplace. Her comments were rude, these will get you fired!

 

[Haggisman]

This is terrible advice for a workplace. Her comments were rude, these will get you fired!

Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer

 

[fez]

Not gonna lie, rude people don't bother me. Just laugh it off. Who cares. People who are like this are miserable toads. To paraphrase Red Dwarf "being a miserable toad is her crime and being a miserable toad is her punishment".

 

[TommyV]

Anyone else with toddlers who have been absolutely ****ing miserable all day due to the heat? Mentally taxing

 

[Penfold101]

Anyone else with toddlers who have been absolutely ****ing miserable all day due to the heat? Mentally taxing

Changing his nappy has been easier as that’s all he’s wearing

 

[Priapus]

Anyone else with toddlers who have been absolutely ****ing miserable all day due to the heat? Mentally taxing

Fortunately not, our toddler was born in South Africa and spent the first two years of his life there - so he knows what hot is and is used to it.

 

[The Funktopus]

My daughter is fully into terrible twos, getting her in the car after nursery generally involves much screaming and crying (very nearly from both sides) in the end I just have to wrestle the straps on her then once she's strapped in the switch turns off and she's fine
She also enjoys a good competently random meltdown and then is fine a minute or two later once it's out of her system.

I'm definitely having to take a lot of deep breaths.

My daughter has ASD, and she struggles with transitions, such as going from being in the car to going into school. I know this is probably a weird thing to ask going off the back of such little info, but have you considered that she could be on the spectrum?

My daughter’s 5 next month, and that, the sudden random meltdowns that seemingly come out of nowhere and then dissipate just as abruptly as they came was one of the 1st clues we had that there might be something like else going on, and it was around that age.

 

[robjf]

Anyone else with toddlers who have been absolutely ****ing miserable all day due to the heat? Mentally taxing

My 4 year old was with my mrs (who was miserable) while I was with our daughter on cub/scout camp - water fights helped keep everyone cool!

 

[TommyV]

Today has been no easier.

This post serves as nothing more than attempting to be a form of therapeutic outlet, after another miserable day.

 

[robjf]

We’re expecting our second little one mid may, after a 7 year hiatus. Super excited about it, and seem to be taking a much more relaxed/affordable approach to preparing this time which I only think is a good thing.

Update: we’ve now got a mental 4 year old who doesn’t move around the house without some sort of scream, screech or otherwise unnecessary noise. While our first was relatively mild-mannered and calm, our little boy couldn’t be any more different.
Thankfully he is going to school in September so the childcare costs go down!

 

[tom_e]

My daughter has ASD, and she struggles with transitions, such as going from being in the car to going into school. I know this is probably a weird thing to ask going off the back of such little info, but have you considered that she could be on the spectrum?

My daughter’s 5 next month, and that, the sudden random meltdowns that seemingly come out of nowhere and then dissipate just as abruptly as they came was one of the 1st clues we had that there might be something like else going on, and it was around that age.

It's certainly something I've considered although she generally doesn't seem to have any of the other traits, I suppose we'll find out when the terrible twos stage just never ends

 

[t2na]

Anyone got any advice on how to cut a 2/3 year olds toenails? She was always absolutely fine with it and never caused any problems but in the last 2 months has decided it's basically torture.

No issue with finger nails, happily lets me do them once a week. Toenails just seem to be off the cards for her... I've tried bribing with snacks/treats/TV, tends to work for one or two nails at a push. Mate of mine suggested doing it whilst she slept but she's the most ticklish little creature around, I know if I just brushed her feet she'd wake up in a fit of laughter.

 

[fez]

Update: we’ve now got a mental 4 year old who doesn’t move around the house without some sort of scream, screech or otherwise unnecessary noise. While our first was relatively mild-mannered and calm, our little boy couldn’t be any more different.

Now I don't want to gloat but I think we can all agree that when parents have lovely, chilled out and mild mannered kids and then get a little hellion it makes the rest of us very happy!

Joking aside, one of ours had horrible gas when they were very little and every ******* video on youtube which explained how to burp and fart your baby had a little slug that would sit there nicely while the parent manipulated them until *faaaart*. Oh magic, I'll just do that with my child that is losing their mind and straining every muscle of their body because they are in pain.

Also having twins makes you realise just how much of personality is nature. They like different foods, activities, have very different personalities, like different books, shows etc.

Anyone got any advice on how to cut a 2/3 year olds toenails? She was always absolutely fine with it and never caused any problems but in the last 2 months has decided it's basically torture.

No issue with finger nails, happily lets me do them once a week. Toenails just seem to be off the cards for her... I've tried bribing with snacks/treats/TV, tends to work for one or two nails at a push. Mate of mine suggested doing it whilst she slept but she's the most ticklish little creature around, I know if I just brushed her feet she'd wake up in a fit of laughter.

My boys generally don't like their feet being played with but the only success I have had with doing nails is to make it into a game that they get involved with. Counting the nails as I clip them off and making the occasional intentional mistake usually does enough to get them laughing and tolerating it.

 

[alchal]

My daughter is fully into terrible twos, getting her in the car after nursery generally involves much screaming and crying (very nearly from both sides) in the end I just have to wrestle the straps on her then once she's strapped in the switch turns off and she's fine
She also enjoys a good competently random meltdown and then is fine a minute or two later once it's out of her system.

I'm definitely having to take a lot of deep breaths.

It's a stage.

My daughter was the same, often took me an hour to get her in the car after nursery


She's generally fine now, no screams but likes a run around the estate a bit before getting in.

 

[The Funktopus]

Anyone have any ideas for child-proofing a bannister? The problem is that my 5 year old has discovered that she can step off the half landing and get her leg up over the bannister, and then straddles it, with a sheer drop down to the wooden floor in the hall below. You can’t explain to her why she shouldn’t do this and she has no sense of danger, or it seems any recall of what has happened on occasions when she does hurt herself, she just goes right back to repeating the behaviour that caused it, which at the minute, is climbing.

I am going to be building a tall baby gate for the bottom of the stairs, but due to the lay out of the staircase, I can’t really put one there due to the placement of the post, there’s just a spindle where the post needs to be for me to fit a baby gate there, so I need something to try and prevent her getting up onto the bannister off the stairs.

 

[TommyV]

Anyone have any ideas for child-proofing a bannister? The problem is that my 5 year old has discovered that she can step off the half landing and get her leg up over the bannister, and then straddles it, with a sheer drop down to the wooden floor in the hall below. You can’t explain to her why she shouldn’t do this and she has no sense of danger, or it seems any recall of what has happened on occasions when she does hurt herself, she just goes right back to repeating the behaviour that caused it, which at the minute, is climbing.

I am going to be building a tall baby gate for the bottom of the stairs, but due to the lay out of the staircase, I can’t really put one there due to the placement of the post, there’s just a spindle where the post needs to be for me to fit a baby gate there, so I need something to try and prevent her getting up onto the bannister off the stairs.

Not sure if it’s going to be exactly what you need - but you can buy bannister sheets that cover all of the gaps between the wooden struts, would that prevent her from being able to do the necessary to climb up?

Failing that, mattress in the hallway?

 

[TommyV]

Incase it’s of any use to other Dads lurking this thread, after months and months of trying to navigate the terrible 2’s and doing miserably at times, we’ve introduced a reward chart for basic things like using the potty, sitting and eating, brushing of hair etc.


Its as simple as she gets to put a sticker of her choosing against the relevant block, with ‘golden stars’ for using the potty.

It is working an absolute charm, and has transformed our pre and post nursery routines. All for the sake of £4 on stickers, and drawing a chart on a piece of A3 piece of paper each week.

There is the odd ‘I’m exhausted’ melt down, but no amount of stickers on a chart can fix that

 

[t2na]

Anyone got any advice on how to cut a 2/3 year olds toenails?

Found the best approach to this was to cut them when she dropped off a snooze in the car. Took her for the tiring toddler trip (soft play followed by swimming) so she was fully conked out in the car on the way home then made it easy as pie to just pull over and park, cut them without her realising/waking up and then crack back on with the day.

3 weeks till she turns 3, insanely scary how fast it's gone.

It's very true what everyone says about the days and weeks go slowly - but the years just fly by.

 

[Maccy]

Incase it’s of any use to other Dads lurking this thread, after months and months of trying to navigate the terrible 2’s and doing miserably at times, we’ve introduced a reward chart for basic things like using the potty, sitting and eating, brushing of hair etc.


Its as simple as she gets to put a sticker of her choosing against the relevant block, with ‘golden stars’ for using the potty.

It is working an absolute charm, and has transformed our pre and post nursery routines. All for the sake of £4 on stickers, and drawing a chart on a piece of A3 piece of paper each week.

There is the odd ‘I’m exhausted’ melt down, but no amount of stickers on a chart can fix that

I will come back to this post in 2 years!