OcUK Dadsnet thread

Our nursery have changed their policy now so if the kids need anything like Calpol because they're a bit under the weather they now automatically need to be collected.

Had to pick the little one up today because she had a slight temperature and was generally just a bit whiny, got her home and gave her some Calpol and she's fine.

So that's half a day nursery cost wasted, a couple of hours I've lost at work and a cancellation charge because I had a dentist appointment this afternoon that I now can't make all because it feels like they basically just don't want them unless they're absolutely fine (which we all know is not a thing between September and April).
 
Our nursery have changed their policy now so if the kids need anything like Calpol because they're a bit under the weather they now automatically need to be collected.

Had to pick the little one up today because she had a slight temperature and was generally just a bit whiny, got her home and gave her some Calpol and she's fine.

So that's half a day nursery cost wasted, a couple of hours I've lost at work and a cancellation charge because I had a dentist appointment this afternoon that I now can't make all because it feels like they basically just don't want them unless they're absolutely fine (which we all know is not a thing between September and April).

That sounds a bit extreme. Our nursery isn't too bad and mine has been dosed up on Calpol a fair bit this last month and only sent home once this year when he was extremely upset and not well.
 
Our nursery have changed their policy now so if the kids need anything like Calpol because they're a bit under the weather they now automatically need to be collected.

Had to pick the little one up today because she had a slight temperature and was generally just a bit whiny, got her home and gave her some Calpol and she's fine.

So that's half a day nursery cost wasted, a couple of hours I've lost at work and a cancellation charge because I had a dentist appointment this afternoon that I now can't make all because it feels like they basically just don't want them unless they're absolutely fine (which we all know is not a thing between September and April).

Ours send them home if they have a squitty bum or a temperature. Then its 48 hours since last symptom. Last month we missed something crazy like 16 days out of 30 (twins, 3 days a week). 6 days of that was a holiday but it was still ridiculous.

Theres no benefit to chancing it though because then you have to work out some childcare in the middle of the day. You can't plan.
 
Last edited:
We’ve had a ride of it this last month. Since our 3 night hospital stay a month ago, little Madame has been ill with varying bugs an additional 3 times. Fortunately none as bad as the first, and more so because it is happening after, or towards the end of her 4 days/week at nursery which results in very limiting weekends.

With her weight fluctuating significantly since the hospital visit we have a community nurse coming out every 2 weeks to track it, give us pointers etc which is helpful.

Throw in some molars starting to pop out and it makes for a lot of fun….


…we’ll get through it :-)
 
We’ve had a ride of it this last month. Since our 3 night hospital stay a month ago, little Madame has been ill with varying bugs an additional 3 times. Fortunately none as bad as the first, and more so because it is happening after, or towards the end of her 4 days/week at nursery which results in very limiting weekends.

With her weight fluctuating significantly since the hospital visit we have a community nurse coming out every 2 weeks to track it, give us pointers etc which is helpful.

Throw in some molars starting to pop out and it makes for a lot of fun….


…we’ll get through it :-)
Sounds very much like this time last year for us.

Luckily our hospital trips were just sat waiting for them to basically say take her home and make sure she drinks, if she doesn't bring her back. But like you that then rolled into what felt like never ending bugs and being confined to the house.
 
Sounds very much like this time last year for us.

Luckily our hospital trips were just sat waiting for them to basically say take her home and make sure she drinks, if she doesn't bring her back. But like you that then rolled into what felt like never ending bugs and being confined to the house.
Sounds about right, had that exact hospital scenario before they accepted she needed some help (a drip and monitoring).

We had similar with our eldest start of 2024 when she started. At the time misses was pregnant so it all fell on my shoulders for care etc at the drop of a hat, ‘twas brutal!

Separately - this thread is great for a quick vent and finding solace in the fact that you’re not alone in the difficulties, thanks chaps. Genuinely.
 
Last edited:
We've renamed our toddler to "The Germ" at the minute. We've been getting a new bug every week for months now and this week I feel like death (definitely man flu!). Along with the current stage of tantrums and testing boundaries I need a day off :o
 
We've renamed our toddler to "The Germ" at the minute. We've been getting a new bug every week for months now and this week I feel like death (definitely man flu!). Along with the current stage of tantrums and testing boundaries I need a day off :o
Are you finding that the bug starts the day after their last day of nursery for the week?
 
One twin was ill yesterday so spent the day at home with me (they're 3). When we went to pick his sister up from preschool he wasn't happy about going and made me carry him on his shoulders. No problem. As we got closer to preschool, we were getting some funny looks from people and I had no idea why. When we got to preschool, I got him down and he'd had an almighty nosebleed that was all down his face and somehow rubbed over his forehead. He looked like Wilson from Castaway! I hadn't realised because I obviously couldn't see his face lol.
 
One twin was ill yesterday so spent the day at home with me (they're 3). When we went to pick his sister up from preschool he wasn't happy about going and made me carry him on his shoulders. No problem. As we got closer to preschool, we were getting some funny looks from people and I had no idea why. When we got to preschool, I got him down and he'd had an almighty nosebleed that was all down his face and somehow rubbed over his forehead. He looked like Wilson from Castaway! I hadn't realised because I obviously couldn't see his face lol.
You’d think someone would mention it!
 
God no, we did look at premium but the cost jump to business wasn’t a great deal more so treated ourselves.

TBH premium would have probably been the better option due to the business layout, wasn’t easy to get over to him.

We went business class to Toronto last month with the 18 month old - it turned out to be the old business class setup which I’d normally complain about, but for having him and getting him to sleep was actually a much better design!

Not going anywhere with him in economy till he can have his own seat and sit there by himself :cry:
 
Takes me back reading about all your little ones. Mine are 20 and 18 now. But rest assured you never stop worrying about them and wanting the best.

Daughter (20) is all good. 2nd year at a uni she loves with good friends and doing well academically as well.

Son (18) is the one I wanted your thoughts on.

He did his A levels last summer and was predicted to do really well with 4 A*s in maths, further maths, chemistry and physics. He applied to some pretty good unis and was lucky enough to get offers to study maths at Oxford (A*A*A) and Durham (A*AA). As a result of only needing 3 a-levels he decided to drop chemistry and focus on his 3 strongest - M, FM and P.

He worked hard in the run up to his A levels and was super stressed when it came to the exams. He basically had mild panic attacks in one of each his maths and further maths papers and ended up with one really poor paper in both - in further maths he literally got 56% in one paper and low 90s in the other 2. He missed his A* by 4 marks with an almost identical story in maths missing his A* by 2 blasted percent - TWO. We had the papers back and the marking was accurate. As a result he missed both Oxford and Durham. He never missed an A* in any maths exam or mock except when it actually mattered. To say he was pole-axed is an understatement. He was and is desperately, desperately upset. He says it still makes him feel physically sick.

However much we tell him that AAA is a great set of results, he can only see the chances he missed.

He is now on an unexpected gap-year (and doing some cool stuff) with the intention of resitting both maths exams next June. He re-applied to Oxford more in hope than expectation and got rejected and is "on hold" at Bristol where he has a chance of an unconditional offer, but after visiting Bristol a few times, he is really uncertain about Bristol as a city (I love it, but he was uncomfortable with the homelessness and open drug use). He has to submit all 5 UCAS choices by the middle of Jan and is really struggling to select the 3 unis to make up the final 5.

We need to get him to move past Oxford and focus on unis he has a chance of getting a place at. We're talking about a final set of:

1) Oxford (already applied rejected)
2) Durham (will need an A* on a retake)
3) Bristol (already submitted, on-hold - great rep, great course, may get an unconditional on the AAA he already has, but is really, really uncertain about the city itself)
4) Lancaster (lovely campus, good rep, may get unconditional with his AAA)
5) Exeter (again great campus, with a solid course, may get unconditional with his AAA)

He is desperate for an unconditional as he really doesn't want another unexpected gap-year.

If you've got this far thanks. Here are the questions:

Q1) Has anyone here got any 1st/2nd hand opinions on any of the places above (bar Oxford)?

Q2) Has anyone got any advice on how to get him to move on from screwing up his exams last summer and focus on enjoying whatever university experience lies ahead? What did they say to Gareth Southgate after he missed?

See! Told you being a parent changes, but always stays the same in that your heart aches for them when they hurt.
 
Takes me back reading about all your little ones. Mine are 20 and 18 now. But rest assured you never stop worrying about them and wanting the best.

Daughter (20) is all good. 2nd year at a uni she loves with good friends and doing well academically as well.

Son (18) is the one I wanted your thoughts on.

He did his A levels last summer and was predicted to do really well with 4 A*s in maths, further maths, chemistry and physics. He applied to some pretty good unis and was lucky enough to get offers to study maths at Oxford (A*A*A) and Durham (A*AA). As a result of only needing 3 a-levels he decided to drop chemistry and focus on his 3 strongest - M, FM and P.

He worked hard in the run up to his A levels and was super stressed when it came to the exams. He basically had mild panic attacks in one of each his maths and further maths papers and ended up with one really poor paper in both - in further maths he literally got 56% in one paper and low 90s in the other 2. He missed his A* by 4 marks with an almost identical story in maths missing his A* by 2 blasted percent - TWO. We had the papers back and the marking was accurate. As a result he missed both Oxford and Durham. He never missed an A* in any maths exam or mock except when it actually mattered. To say he was pole-axed is an understatement. He was and is desperately, desperately upset. He says it still makes him feel physically sick.

However much we tell him that AAA is a great set of results, he can only see the chances he missed.

He is now on an unexpected gap-year (and doing some cool stuff) with the intention of resitting both maths exams next June. He re-applied to Oxford more in hope than expectation and got rejected and is "on hold" at Bristol where he has a chance of an unconditional offer, but after visiting Bristol a few times, he is really uncertain about Bristol as a city (I love it, but he was uncomfortable with the homelessness and open drug use). He has to submit all 5 UCAS choices by the middle of Jan and is really struggling to select the 3 unis to make up the final 5.

We need to get him to move past Oxford and focus on unis he has a chance of getting a place at. We're talking about a final set of:

1) Oxford (already applied rejected)
2) Durham (will need an A* on a retake)
3) Bristol (already submitted, on-hold - great rep, great course, may get an unconditional on the AAA he already has, but is really, really uncertain about the city itself)
4) Lancaster (lovely campus, good rep, may get unconditional with his AAA)
5) Exeter (again great campus, with a solid course, may get unconditional with his AAA)

He is desperate for an unconditional as he really doesn't want another unexpected gap-year.

If you've got this far thanks. Here are the questions:

Q1) Has anyone here got any 1st/2nd hand opinions on any of the places above (bar Oxford)?

Q2) Has anyone got any advice on how to get him to move on from screwing up his exams last summer and focus on enjoying whatever university experience lies ahead? What did they say to Gareth Southgate after he missed?

See! Told you being a parent changes, but always stays the same in that your heart aches for them when they hurt.

Serious question - what dos he have planned career wise after uni? Is there a full roadmap which he needs the degree for or is it a natural pathway to continue education because that’s what he likes?

When I was 17 (1999/2000) I was faced with the same choice of applying to university, but something (impatience and money probably) pushed me to choose the RAF application form over the UCAS form. I knew I wanted to join, but my dad would have preferred I go to uni first. Looking back, I don’t think I was anywhere near mature enough for the sort of self-study it would have required, and I’ve no idea what I would have actually studied (something in STEM).

Instead, I joined up as an aircraft tech and have just finished 25 years - ready to be a civilian! (But actually too indoctrinated for that so taking a reservist role)

Looking back, knowing what I know now (and being 43) I would’ve gone to uni, grown up a bit and gained some life experience before joining up and probably gone down a different route in the RAF, but that wasn’t who I was at the time.

In short - there are other options, and uni will always be available whatever age he is. He could go travelling for a year instead - see the world without the queen/king paying for it like they did for me! (Mostly desert, but still counts…)
 
Nothing worse than a tiny human on your lap for longer than an hour, we did Tenerife when our boy was 19 months and it was a struggle at times.

We just had to get through meal service which was the first couple of hours after takeoff, then got him down to sleep on us. Screen time with his own headphones worked for a decent amount of it when he wasn’t eating, as much as we try to avoid it!
 
Not going anywhere with him in economy till he can have his own seat and sit there by himself :cry:

Bless you for thinking that will make that much difference. Then you have the fun of keeping them in their seat when the seatbelt sign is on. Our are generally little terrors that never stop and planes are a nightmare. Trying to manage two boys on a tiny plane.
 
Back
Top Bottom