Female Terminology

Soldato
Joined
13 Dec 2006
Posts
6,959
Location
On the forest moon Endor
No Saturday joke thread from me as Mat beat me to it with his penguin one :D

Instead the male of the species may find the following of interest:-



1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying **** YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.
 
I prefer these....

Women's English:

Yes = Yes / No

No = No / Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

Men's English:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now!

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I'm gay
 
what's weird is that this is all so true. Like before i had a gf i thought it was just some jokes people made and adjusted so they sounded funny but its exactly 100% how it is with woman, well my current at least.

Another similar one I recently noticed is that when she says "obviously" in an argument, it means a really really stupid point is about to be said which she made up from nowhere except randomness. Anyone else hear this a lot?
 
Another similar one I recently noticed is that when she says "obviously" in an argument, it means a really really stupid point is about to be said which she made up from nowhere except randomness. Anyone else hear this a lot?


*OBVIOUSLY* you just don't care about me.

*OBVIOUSLY* you're just not listening

*OBVIOUSLY* I'm not good enough for you


:mad::mad::mad:
 
Always storm out and go to the pub your bird will soon by waiting for you and if shes not go home and wait some more.

Women should be seen and not heard.
 
can't live without em

Yeah, you can. Just boot them out of the house, ther'll always be another.

Living with a woman takes a hell of a lot more effort and money than going out on the pull every week and living your life from shag to shag.

Commitment = lose.
 
You lot are a bunch of miserable sods! Was meant to be a joke thread and yet you managed to turn it into a woman bashing thread. No wonder you all so have so much bother with women (well, from what you're saying here it sounds that way at least) since you go into everything with that kind of negative attitude.
 
You lot are a bunch of miserable sods! Was meant to be a joke thread and yet you managed to turn it into a woman bashing thread. No wonder you all so have so much bother with women (well, from what you're saying here it sounds that way at least) since you go into everything with that kind of negative attitude.
/Consults female dictionary...

FINE!
 
Back
Top Bottom