Violent Girlfriend, Kids in the middle.

nydryl · 18 Dec 2011 at 22:23

[FnG]magnolia;20828380 said:
You want professional guidance not armchair advice from GD'ers. Speak to a solicitor and/or CAB.

e : I was too slow. The previous two posters have shown why my advice is sound.

End of thread if you can't speak it through with her and are serious about legal action to get the kids.

QlimaxUK · 18 Dec 2011 at 22:24

He will fix it

or if that fails...

AberystwythLAD · 18 Dec 2011 at 22:25

Christmas Day Daily Mail Shocking Headline

'Guy killed by violent girlfriend, wrapped and left under the tree for kids to open'.

:eek:

No seriously OP, get some help. I feel for you, even more so at this supposedly lovely time in the calendar when everyone else is happy and you must be miserable. Maybe it'd be better for a break over the festive period. Just a thought

cheets64 · 18 Dec 2011 at 22:30

tbh when you see headlines where a guy has killed his entire family, who knows what was going on.

Biohazard · 18 Dec 2011 at 22:31

Not been in this specific situation so I'll leave the advice to others but I hope you can get it sorted out as best as possible for you all, good luck.

Dickyb0b · 18 Dec 2011 at 23:21

I blame the guy that made this women , cleary she was to strong for him ...

TheBigCheese · 18 Dec 2011 at 23:35

I've read a few people on the forum say that the quality of posts has been going down lately and it's never been more apparent than in this thread.

The OP must be at the end of his teather in a nightmarish situation and half the posts are jokes or telling him to man up...do you have any idea how juvenile you are or are you just lacking empathy?

OP I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of advice I can offer, have you tried talking to your GP, will she go? If she won't you can still go and get some advice.

Nitefly · 18 Dec 2011 at 23:36

If you haven't done so already, tell her how it's making you feel.

Vonhelmet · 18 Dec 2011 at 23:38

TheCenturion said:
Question - are you bigger and stronger than her?

You know, I was just thinking that this situation sounded like it needed the threat of physical violence.

RaohNS · 18 Dec 2011 at 23:42

Hi Annon,

A really good piece of advice i can give is that if you want to leave. You will need to be able to demonstrate you want your children to live with you. The chances are that custody could be awarded.

For more details a useful site is:

www.dadtalk.co.uk
Visit the Forum, then the Legal Eagle forum.

ZXSpectrum · 18 Dec 2011 at 23:49

Jesus grow up for Christ sake! This "slap her about a bit that will sort her" is getting very old and is definitely not funny so unless you have something serious and relevant to tell the bloke grow up and don't post juvenile bs... Pity there isn't a childrens area for you to post in! :rolleyes:

bigjimmyauk · 19 Dec 2011 at 00:29

Dandaman said:
Show that lady the hairy side of your hand at least twice a day and she will soon quit being a bugger

Yes off course and he'll be left in court for assault while she gets full custody of the children who will then get the brunt of her abuse behind closed doors.

GROW UP FFS

Alex74 · 19 Dec 2011 at 00:41

Dandaman said:
Show that lady the hairy side of your hand at least twice a day and she will soon quit being a bugger

AHAHAHAHA because domestic abuse is funny LOL.

Grow up or **** off.

OP I can't offer much beyond what's already been suggested in this thread, however sometimes breaking up can be better for the children, it may be in their best interest and of course yours in this case. Only you can make that call however. All I can say is follow the advice paths given in this thread in terms of custody and how you can best approach this, and the very best of luck to you

AberystwythLAD · 19 Dec 2011 at 00:51

TheBigCheese said:
I've read a few people on the forum say that the quality of posts has been going down lately and it's never been more apparent than in this thread.

The OP must be at the end of his teather in a nightmarish situation and half the posts are jokes or telling him to man up...do you have any idea how juvenile you are or are you just lacking empathy?

OP I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of advice I can offer, have you tried talking to your GP, will she go? If she won't you can still go and get some advice.

Agreed. I think they should have a break apart and both take account of their own lives and what they want from it. Only then can they move on. Domestic violence in any case is really bad and its nothing to take the mick out of.

I feel for the OP, especially considering its around Christmas time and there are children involved which always makes things harder again. When you have no children its easy to just walk away but when you have children its a lot harder because you don't know the mindset of the other person who is being violent.

Now the OP is clearly in the situation where he wants to leave. There is 2 ways of doing this in my opinion so he gets full custody;

1) Record her as he already stated. You could also put forward that she can control this when there are visitors which means its down to her own doing, not a mental issue

2) Do something not so bad that you'll know will make her flip even when guests are there. Try and force a response. Use that with the video if you have one and you can also ask them to be witnesses when putting your claim forward.

I hope all goes well OP and regardless of what happens, you and your children have a happy christmas!

knip · 19 Dec 2011 at 07:17

Can't believe some people are joking about this because its a woman doing it to a man. Domestic abuse is domestic abuse, no matter who is doing it, and its just as wrong no matter who it is.

OP can you ring these guys if you get a moment

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php

You don't deserve this for a second, and if this was a man doing it to a woman, the police would have been called long ago.

hurfdurf · 19 Dec 2011 at 07:32

Scubascorpion said:
Back of the hand to the face..

Or just stand up for yourself.

Disaster said:
Wear the trousers in the family, end of.

These kinds of replies are not helpful in the slightest and show a complete lack of undersanding domestic abuse, but then, this is GD.

OP should be going to get real advice from his GP or council services.

^TANK^ · 19 Dec 2011 at 07:39

Arrange for a baby sitter for your two children so they don't see the fallout. Then calmly pack your girlfriends bags and leave them on the front door step, then physically escort her from the premises and tell her not to come back until she has sorted out her anger issues until then stay away!

Cosimo · 19 Dec 2011 at 08:04

Following some of the advice in here would probably lead to a tragedy so:

cm1179 said:
merry christmas, OP.

go to CAB.

and try this:

knip said:
Can't believe some people are joking about this because its a woman doing it to a man. Domestic abuse is domestic abuse, no matter who is doing it, and its just as wrong no matter who it is.

OP can you ring these guys if you get a moment

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php

You don't deserve this for a second, and if this was a man doing it to a woman, the police would have been called long ago.

Even have a word with your GP.

Hope you can get this sorted out amicably.

edscdk · 19 Dec 2011 at 08:06

Hikari Kisugi said:
Yes solicitor.
Was she like this before you bred with her for the second time? Or is it a new thing.

roll on those £200 an hour fees!!!!

edscdk · 19 Dec 2011 at 08:13

Jay794 said:
Give her a slap, let her know her place

a woman is only going to attack a man so many times and get a beating in the process before she stops...

however assuming she is not jsut mental it may be hormone imbalance or disease causing the problem...